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Excerpt from the article/open letter "Consider Me" in Umbrella Girl by Apple Mayflowers:
INTRODUCTION 2
I finally made a graphic that expresses the gist of the entire article "in 50 words or less". (You don*t have to read the article/open letter rotfl) (yes, in a way, it*s like a love letter...a last love letter to the man I love)
(Only those who want the details will want to read the LONG article...because it*s too...uhm...long.)
As those who have read it now know, I*ve added the list of the three main women plus the possible other one...that*s to tell Harry that I know and it*s all okay for me to know ...and well, it*s just an image problem for him and not something anyone should condemn...
An important message to the public is making people understand why this romantic relationship is a no-go to me although I*m his friend forever..
It*s in the form of an Open Letter because I want the public to stop encouraging us to fight for this love.
I also want the public to know that it*s quite normal for ALL the wives in a polygamous marriage to get jealous like other women...and my feelings about not being thought worthy of receiving the truth.
The advice was also added at the end of the open letter...which made the article the length it is today...Oh well...at least I wrote in EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO SAY in my goodbye letter...which was friendly in tone by the way.
NOTE: In my post somewhere on this journal, called WHY IT*S FINAL, I do SCREAM at romantic people...If they weren*t around, I would have had an easier time breaking up with Harry... |
| Harry and I may not be compatible as lovers (What is incompatibility?...In lovers, it*s when you both want differing things out of life...it*s having clashing goals and values)...but as friends, even best friends, we*re good (since one normally doesn*t have to negotiate living arrangements with a friend, friendship is much, much simpler than a love affair)...My friendship with Harry remains untouched by controversy...he*s as funny and as true as ever!
So people are saying, "What*s wrong with you?! Exes usually RESENT each other because of so much misunderstanding, and here you are saying you can separate the romantic part from the friendship part of your relationship with him!"
Well, it*s really that way, even if people can*t understand it. As his friend, I really couldn*t care less how he handles his romantic life because I*m not in it anymore. There is NO jealousy even if, say, I still have a little crush on him. I*m hoping that would go away though - the crush - but if not, I*ll try my very best NOT to FLIRT with him. Yes, I know...the world is different now, people flirt even with their friends...I belong to a bygone era, sorry, and us older folk don*t flirt with our real friends!
Love you, Harry, my friend forever! |
| This used to be on another page. However the other post would not load so it*s now here)
It started with a plea/request: BFF HARRY SUPERMAN (or HARRY S. for short)...I*ve been good to you...I beg of you to stop courting me or trying to win me...You already have a replacement Gf (the one I saw last September 26th) [Update: She*s not a replacement Gf, she*s one of three MAIN current girlfriends (there are also "minor steady girlfriends")]...NOW, I*M NOT JUDGING HARRY ON HIS PREFERENCES but I can say they*re a bit unique...maybe surprising as well...I*m just asking him to stop trying to get me back.
I don*t see it as evil if a man wants several women all at the same time...I support polygamy AND womanising...The main girls plus the extras...We tried to solve it in MANY ways but we couldn*t...just because of some definitions and image perception issues.
Yet since I want to live a quiet life, I think it*s best to solve this problem through a suggestion I*ve broached in Umbrella Girl...I gave it the title "Consider Me..."...there I address my Honey, I mean my BFF (well, I REALLY still love him but it*s time to say goodbye) (for now!...I*ll just be around the corner!)...Everyone will see the how and the why and the wherefore there...
(CONTINUED FROM THE Oct. 8th post WHY IT*S FINAL (Part I)
WHY IT*S FINAL (PART 2):
IT* NOT JUST HARRY...He just happened to be the one around when I started feeling I*m "Never gonna fall in love again", like the Eric Carmen song that explains that it*s just such a hassle. IT CAN APPLY TO ANY MAN, like I don*t want to be involved with anyone at all! That*s what I*m feeling right now, and it feels like a forever-thing, a forever-preference.
I also learned that love is not enough ensure the success of a love relationship. Of course I remember that Firefall song written by Roberts called "Goodbye, I Love You" where my favourite line is, "But love is not enough to make you mine..." How true. The other lyrics in that song do not apply to my particular situation...although there may be a line or five (?!) {!!} there that could fit...like..."Maybe I love you more than you know - Maybe you*ll know someday...Maybe you think it*s easy for me, easy to say goodbye...Maybe it hurts me more than you see - All I can do is cry..."
Anyway...back to the topic of being a loner: Somehow, the concept of being "Forever alone" (referring to a lack of a sweetheart) is not threatening to me...it*s a great prospect (we have other loved ones, like friends, relatives...and we have work/being busy)!
One of the main points I want to highlight in this post though is the fact that it*s quite common to have a lot of friends...and to me, Harry is a good friend...but when some of us want to be alone, people should respect that.
And no, not all of the couples* problems "can be solved by love"...that is such utter nonsense! When someone doesn*t want to be with Someone Special nor have a Significant Other and just wants to be left alone, people should NOT say that "she just needs a little prodding and a little more sweetness and some roses and all that"...because such persons have already said they DON*T WANT a Special Someone.
If someone doesn*t want to shag anyone then you must leave that person alone...and quit implying that the person would be lonely without a shag partner.
A Love Phobia?? Yeah, we could call it that...and the best part is I\'m afriad of something that isn*t necessary for me to be whole or happy. Happiness is another complex topic, but it may or may not have any connection to being alone.
[An aside here: Apparently, FOR MEN, that is NOT the case. God said, "It is not good for a man to be alone." He never said that of the woman. That mentioned, we can conclude that a man can be his best self if he has an assistant...preferrably a woman, who gives him all he needs. But you see, I am NOT a man, so none of these manly things apply to me.]
Now in my case, I am alone AND happy. (No partner, no hassle!) I may be alone, but I*m NEVER lonely. My passions, interests and mission keep my life vibrant. |
| Do you all WANT to know WHY I think it*s FINAL??
THIS IS AN OCTOBER 13TH UPDATE - to an October 8th post - right on this page - where I announced that I had an article called "Consider Me" - a detailed post about the various complexities {read: NOT simple at all} that lead to the demise of our relationship...Nope...No one was being evil in the relationship, and we weren*t mistreating each other (like he wasn*t beating me up and I wasn*t nagging the hell out of him)...We were nice to each other....
These are ruminations I*ve thought about just about now, as of this writing:
Harry is great, he*s awesome...but he*s in a place WHERE I AM NOT...In other words, right now, WE*RE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE, and apparently, WE DON*T WANT THE SAME THINGS IN LIFE.
For me, it*s REALLY OKAY if a man wants variety in the women in his life....if he really wants lots of different women all at the same time...that*s HIS PERSONALITY and he shouldn*t be condemned for his preferences and for who he is.
There will ALWAYS be women who will agree to all that he wants because they*re scared of losing him.
I have to admit that my feelings for him have changed somewhat these past few days, starting last October 11th...there has been like a "gear shift" in my feelings.
Suddenly, I*m no longer willing to put up with any complex arrangement. Suddenly, it*s okay with me that some women don*t want to lose Harry at all (it used to be NOT okay...I was so jealous)...because suddenly, it became very okay for me to lose him as a lover. He has always been my friend, and for the greater part that I have known him, I*ve always thought that his sexiness WASN*T FOR ME SOMEHOW...That kind of sureness or conviction has returned to my heart. So at any rate, I*m still his friend...and back to thinking..."Him and me?? Nah...Impossible!!!" (It wasn*t just his age...It felt so..."not right" at the time...)
Well...back to the bewildering things about the women in Harry*s life- It*s ALL okay suddenly! And with so many guys out there calling out to me, WHO ARE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE AS I AM...WHO WANT THE SAME THINGS OUT OF LIFE...why should I force myself to fit into situations that make me uncomfortable?? Many will get it and say that I probably don*t love Harry enough. Just like with Wolf, to whom I put my foot down when he said he could "maybe want two girlfriends" (at the same time)...I didn*t love Wolf enough to GO ON with talks about "my sacrifice" and all that...there just wasn*t enough love for me to go on fixing "us". No more motivation.
I do tell myself that SOMEDAY a man will come along, whom I will love so deeply as to be willing to be his 10th wife in a 10-wife polygamous marriage...Someday, when that guy comes along, I WILL BE WILLING, because I will LOVE HIM ENOUGH to want to be in a complex situation and to want to make a sacrifice...to go through hell and high water for a love. Not yet. Right now, I*m just too traumatised for all that. And that guy*s not here yet.
Why should we turn ourselves into pretzels trying to achieve the impossible, trying to convince everyone we want to continue a love affair forever, when deep inside we don*t??? So many of us do that. Suddenly, I have demands on myself: I want a quiet life with one man THAT LOVES ONLY ME...BUT THEN, I*d rather be alone in a simple life than jump with excitement in a complex, glamorous life. That*s me. I*m probably meant to be alone because I don*t want to adjust to anyone anymore, I feel I don*t want to love or give to a man anymore. My feelings have been destroyed from the TIREDNESS, the fatigue from giving so much OR if it was JUST PLAIN GIVING, I may have not been receiving much, but I wouldn*t know that, now would I? When we love, our focus is naturally on our loved one and not ourselves....
I want to REST now...I DESERVE to rest now (I*m OLD, remember?) (Yes, I know some dames are KICKIN* at 87...well I*m NOT one of them!)...
And I*ll tell you something else: I was TRAUMATISED by the ROMANTIC PEOPLE of this world...Nakaka-diri kayo talagang-talaga lang!!!...All you romantics are truly disgusting!!! (advising me to fix things with Harry, AS IF you knew my feelings! - *KADIRI KAYO!!!)
Since I don*t want to give my love to any man, that includes Harry.
I want to be ALONE, with no boyfriend.
ALONE, ALONE, ALONE...I LOVE that word so much now!
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| *Why do some people over-react...I mentioned in my previous post (the Thank You Page prior to this one) that a certain guy could be my next boyfriend (people were intrigued)....well...BECAUSE we almost became an item a few years back...in 2012...and my mentioning that would assist him in identifying himself in this list; since I give out no names of my friends, for the sake of privacy. (But Harry...even THAT is a code-name...did you know??). Well this guy and I actually ALMOST became sweethearts, but as he was younger (older than Harry though) I told him he had to grow up first. Just to describe him...This guy is handsome, all my suitors are. He saw me looking at my pink rosary and he wore a shirt in that exact pink shade the next day...that shade was very hard to find, but he came up with it.
Is love a matter of shirts???
No, it*s just that Harry (please be patient with this explanation...) has his own way of honouring me (tattoos) but he also copies the moves of my other suitors, like this guy, my friend, and other guys who did A FEW (random, NOT consistently frequent like Harry) great things...like Wolf bought me a bed (a $17,000.00 mattress, which I told him to give to an actress AFTER we broke up), Harry did the same thing and copied him...Wolf bought me a house I liked and which would be convenient for the way I lived my life, Harry did the same thing...Well Harry DIDN*T buy ME a house, he bought a house that he said would be convenient for me visiting my relatives and friends (in the US) and he said when we were married that would indeed be one of our places we would live in...then Harry heard of my friend that wore the pink shirt, so he does wear shirts to honour me as well. (Of course he {again} might NOT remember that he would copy everything my suitors did, but I remember everything)...(What was great about Harry was: HE LEFT NO STONE UNTURNED in honouring me and trying to make me happy. Whether it*s his own idea, or he was just copying another guy that impressed me, he wanted to do it all...which was great...)
So...What*s wrong, Noelle? WHY aren*t you back together?
Well, like I said, Harry convinced me to have old-fashioned expectations...it turns out, I shouldn*t have the old romantic notions. I*M NOT THE ONLY ONE he has love and passion for...I*m not the only one he has been after or has been chasing for several years...but several of us actually...Since he denies that he wants polygamy, WE*RE STUCK with the IDEA of the ONLY LOVE...which isn*t applicable...and he wouldn*t talk of any other arrangement, like an open marriage...OR male one-sided polygamy (which I said I could adjust to)...but yes, he still denies everything...so it*s awkward, really.
Now back to the guy who almost became my boyfriend...I have no idea if he*s The One...heck, he could be married by now...He did say he*d wait FOREVER, I wonder how true this is...but this is the KIND of guy I might try next, TOTALLY DIFFERENT...NOT NECESSARILY HIM THOUGH, like I*ve said, he could be attached by now...but someone like that...someday...IF EVER I fall out of love with Harry (sometimes I have the sinking feeling that I*ll never fall out of love with my ex...so that I*m doomed...especially I know that it*s not the western notion of romantic love he represents, but more of another kind of partnership or love)...well I get that feeling sometimes...Am I asking to be saved?....Well, almost, but not yet....I can still handle life...
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| UPDATE October 13, 2015:
BEFORE I got sick I wrote this:
CURRENTLY, I*M IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING MY RESPONSE TO A PARTICULARLY NASTY RUMOUR ABOUT ME (HEY, ABOUT ME THIS TIME!)...I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CONFIRM OR DENY IT...SO WHAT WOULD THE REAL STORY BE? I CITE WITNESSES WHERE THERE WERE.
[Update: I spent 5 days on the article "Consider Me" including re-doing the graphics thrice, that the writing and publishing of the other scheduled articles will be delayed. Until further notice.]
I will be transferring what needs to be transferred (again)...and I probably won*t write things on the topics I*ve been busy with lately anymore...wait, scratch that...I*ll write "He never let me down" (in Umbrella Girl by Apple Mayflowers...DONE!...retitled "Everything*s Alright!") and "On Beauty" (prepared some parts of it...Note: I got sick so there*s a delay factored in) ( - in Umbrella Girl I suppose...or in TSMOEarth). And YES...I might answer that rumour about me BEFORE writing about Beauty...and BEFORE ALL THAT, I*ve prioritised "Consider Me..." (DONE!) because the current GF of my BFF (my replacement starting September 26th 2015) won*t be gone anytime soon, and wants to take my place as his best friend too! So, I*d best be going.
Due to the above four articles, I will have to delay the writing of "In Defense of Polygamists, Womanisers and Practitioners of Open Marriages (/Open Relationships)", which is a political support issue for me anyway. |
| This post is being edited...it will be back, improved and/or clearer in its contents. (Or maybe not...improved, I mean...but it will be back!) |
| Love enters our lives without being invited...we just "fall" into it...and later we decide we want to STAY in love for that special someone [A Catholic priest and psychologist Father John Powell, S.J. once wrote a book entitled "The Secret of Staying In Love"...I*ll spare you the details...His book generally says COMMUNICATION is the secret...I DON*T agree!!! To me the secret is BEING A BETTER PERSON FOR YOUR LOVED ONE...That means, if one were a bad person (for real), a new relationship is the right place to start being virtuous...and if one is ALREADY virtuous, then the next thing to strive for, for the sake of the beloved, is being even more virtuous than before...That*s the secret I believe in when it comes to staying in love. Sorry. I know I disappointed a lot of people who thought I would root for the classic secret, which is "communication"...no-can-do, nuh-uh, nope!].
Love is very mysterious...Harry*s the first guy to ever make me feel good romantically. All the rest, particularly the guys I "chose" (ALL of them except Harry) at one point or another, didn*t know what they were doing! {Note: I*m NOT speaking about my present suitors, one OR several of whom might be loving me even more deeply than anyone ever...the only problem is, I don*t know specifically yet, who these guys are...but certainly, we must count those who have been courting me steadfastly since 2003!!! (Many of whom I now know personally because they have...well...already proposed marriage to me.) (Many did kneel down {a Protestant thing and I*m Catholic} and wanted me to keep the ring...) (Well, how can I answer everyone properly {but I did give replies, I just didn*t think I*ve explained myself enough to each...that WE ALL must wait for some kind of sign from Destiny...and if Destiny keeps silent?...then I don*t marry anyone! Simple.}...When the proposals came like an avalanche (We*re thinking the same thing {!}:...What did these guys eat for lunch that caused them to do these things? {main question}....Or was it something I said...or perhaps DIDN*T do, to cause them to do the unthinkable, the far-fetched?...and then still continues to this day {how could anyone reply properly to all, for that matter?}...If YOU were in this situation...sort of like a Hollywood actress having lots of fans I suppose...how will you be able to weigh things properly?...or talk to all your fans in any significant manner?)
This is me: I let things happen, I let Destiny take its course...that way, I*m free to live my life with so much intensity for the things I really want to do...I feel I don*t need a partner but I do WANT one!!...There*s no need to fret though...the right partner will appear when the proper time comes...that makes me much more relaxed than some women who MUST follow a timetable, like they must marry at this age or they*ll never look normal to their friends...and then many of them divorce anyway...or stay in a marriage they no longer want because a sexier man has appeared on the scene...which they realised...they MUST have, they MUST conquer) (okay, it*s true...I witnessed a woman declaring THAT...hahaha!) (or even have a guy on the side, two-timing their husband, all because these women rushed their choices) (due to that enigmatic thing called a "woman*s timetable for a wedding in order to look normal to one*s friends"). Well the ones in open-marriages are luckier...BOTH husband and wife can openly be with others without blaming each other nor fighting!...a dream to many!...
Back to "the guys"...I have no idea about how to console the sad ones...or those feeling hopeless...I can comfort them with my love though (our love flies away...straight to the heart of a loved friend or family member...however, love must be strong in order to do that.) (Let me share this: Witnessing Harry crying for me when he was younger...that broke my heart...perhaps he was so cute? an adorable baby in my eyes at that time?...well, he*s younger than my son...)...
Now let*s talk of today: Today I can always thank the ones that went out of their way to be protective of me when they sensed something was off, especially with the mainstream journalists of EVERY platform.
Anyway, some suitors have married, then divorced, and now are back to sending me their love and support from time to time (can anyone believe that? Love is indeed mysterious.). With love and support like that, I certainly consider my suitors my close friends. I found that not counting the good guys...that includes Harry...who are the only ones who protect and defend me from nasty people...there are those that are basically against me, especially most women of this Earth...I wonder why though...most of them ARE Feminists...well, maybe that could be why...and there are nasty guys too, and my protective friends are all on the look-out for THOSE! ACTION, get it?? I LOVE IT!
I was saying about LOVE...Love wants to insure that the beloved feels good/is happy in our care. And love necessarily means one has the required maturity to participate in and contribute to a blissful union. I won*t talk about the different forms of marriage here, just the western concept of romantic love...focused and deep...I have a preference for THAT. (My background states that I was raised in an environment that*s steeped in Catholic influence from Europe, meaning that my ideas of love and love relationships stem from THAT). We stumble and fall on our way to that heaven (Then again, we all should forgive one another if there were hurt feelings).
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| Know this early though that I support polygamy, ALTHOUGH I DON*T PRACTICE IT. For me, those who prefer it need not be condemned by others, especially the monogamists (who do call polygamists immoral...now that*s just not fair!). Sometimes it*s just respect for the culture and religion of other people, sometimes it*s respect for a person*s expression of his or her uniqueness and/or individuality. We need more respect on Earth!
Well, the real update is that he*s into both the positive and negative aspects of our break-up. No comment on my state, you can all see it anyway. I guess the same as him...we see the upside and the downside of breaking up.
WARNING: This is an online diary, so to those who of you who hate drama or mush or analysing relationships, go now.
I*ve just deleted what I wrote (because it was too cheerful and based on the wrong assumptions) when I cheerfully calmed down from the shock of seeing my crush charming the panties off a girl (it was like he was courting her omg) (On September 26th 2015....I hate that date now....now it*s an unromantic date, like the anniversary of an invasion.) (Hey, I don*t hate him!)
It really DOES matter whether something is REAL or just an act to make you jealous. My mistake was believing it when someone said Harry was merely trying to make me jealous. Wrong-o.
First, TAKE NOTE that I DON*T HATE HIM for being himself. Things happen, and we*re just ourselves through it all. With that in mind, you can now hear the story as follows:
(On that day, I was going to talk to him about compromise and all that {He said that if I ever changed my mind to tell him about it...a chance lost for us both}, it could have been a day that changed our lives {because of compromise}, and THEN I saw that he was busy so I backed off (he was quite occupied charming this ONE girl, and I was watching for a long time until I couldn*t take it any more...there was another girl that he also found very, very sexy...so I saw two girls actually on that night) (He*s young, what did I tell him?? I*m right, ain*t I?). We weren*t meant to get back together on that fateful day of September 26th) (Was he deliberately making me jealous? Only he can answer that. I just saw what I saw)...(Well, someone else saw him...so there were two of us at least...plus him...and that girl....plus the other sexy girl...five of us know then) (the two girls would get acquainted later, right?) It wasn*t a romantic time for us to reconcile...plus I saw that a "WILD OATS PERIOD" is something he will need for many years.
I*m NOT mad at him...see why, below (the explanation shown in green).
Uhm...don*t take the overly-cheerful words you*ve once read here {I*ve deleted them} (what I wrote when I momentarily calmed down down and cheered up) too seriously (I actually BELIEVED IT when someone said Harry was just trying to make me jealous on Sept. 26...Now I think...what I saw could be real...). Those words {in the deleted post} were written when I didn*t have more information on how the two of us were doing after the break-up.
(I*ll be fine...) (Hope he*s fine too, whatever is going on...I shouldn*t over-analyse it though...life is life...)
{the post was here...} {deleted}
QUESTION: You said you supported polygamists and womanisers, so what*s the big drama for?
ANSWER: Well, to this day, he denies everything, and always tells me he CAN be loyal, so that leaves me with a different set of expectations. I know him though, so I*m very tolerant actually. But I thought THAT DAY (September 26) was OURS. Incredibly bad timing, really.
Since I*m not a practicing polygamist, there*s a BASIC INCOMPATIBILITY BETWEEN US that cannot be resolved with just "talking it over".
Perhaps we can chalk it up to Destiny doing its thing...it*s God*s events-machine. The person we will be with in the end remains a big mystery as well.
(See the article on the 7 instances that he gets off the hook {in Umbrella Girl}. There*s more information about me and this topic there) I respect polygamists, I don*t condemn them. But I am not one myself.
I M P O R T A N T:
NO, I*M NOT MAD AT HIM...Getting back together and being exes are two opposite things...WHEN I SAW HIM TRYING TO CHARM A GIRL, WE WERE TECHNICALLY EXES...SO THAT*S OKAY...
Don*t worry, Harry...what happened on the 26th of September was just incredibly BAD TIMING for a reconciliation. It could be probable that we might not be a true match as lovers. You*ll always be a good person in my eyes.
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| Meanwhile, here was what I wrote previously, and remember, the latest news is the FIRST sentence of this profile and it begins with the word UPDATE. (clear?)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I\'m in the process of writing something so just wait for it.
(When things come up, they just change everything...so wait for that.)
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I\'ve calmed down.
This is NOT accurate, it turns out:
We\'re in love (STILL) although the official status is still up in the air.
SCRATCH THAT!! THIS IS THE REAL UPDATE:
I have no idea what he feels for me. I still do love him because he has not done anything wrong. Breaking up doesn\'t count with me because they\'re always a result of either misunderstanding or finality in decisions. Nothing wrong with that!
The thing to remember IS: He has the world at his feet and women dying to be his one-and-only. I\'m just one of the many that are alive now and he has a great deal of CHOICES.
I\'ll still retain the mistaken impression here for a time (LUVIN\' \'N STUFF...see below) before I delete or transfer it...that I mistakenly thought he still loves me, I mean, why would he stick with me when he has other options?
We have identical beliefs regarding exes, and that is: It\'s okay to still speak to your ex. There\'s no need to be hostile with your ex, you know. With us - we\'re still best friends, we can still talk, just not about that darned wedding the date of which we couldn\'t agree on and so we broke up. The past is past. Just because you\'re still best friends doesn\'t mean you can go THERE again though...but yes, I\'m still in love...and even if he still has feelings for me, we\'re talking as friends.
(In other words: Regardless of our feelings, I don\'t think we\'re going "there" again...we\'re just going to fight about it again!)
(To those who still don\'t know, you can read up on how a loving couple broke up in Umbrella Girl by Apple Mayflowers on WordPress. You might learn that in this world, love is not enough to keep two people together...and other things. Or you can just be curious, and that\'s okay too.)
So scratch "We\'re in love, still" and replace that with "Whatever he deems worthy of his time, I wish him luck on that." Good luck and God bless!
LIKE I\'VE SAID, PLEASE DISREGARD THE LUVIN \'N STUFF ITEM BELOW! (Although I have not deleted it yet because I\'m very amused at my naivete!)
I basically don\'t plan my life. Perhaps I will meet someone someday who will be my opposite. Well even if my ex is my opposite, we\'re not together now.
What I\'m saying is: If some of you think that the events of my life are a part of some elaborately, carefully planned life, you are mistaken.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think the likes of my sexy ex would fall for someone like me! So I\'m thankful, and let us let life go on for us all.
NOW IGNORE THE FOLLOWING, WHICH I WILL DELETE LATER, AFTER I\'VE STARED AT IT A LOT:
LUVIN\' \'N STUFF:
He knows, he knows...that I love him with all of my heart.
Me - do I know something about his feelings? When he\'s being cryptic giving me sweet nothings in French, well hell yeah!!
The question is the recon, the official status. Maybe when the moment is right. I want things to happen naturally between us, and not be forced. So...when the time is right I suppose...
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| I DO DIET...using the ATKINS DIET....I go for Chinese or Eastern Medicine....even Homeopathy or Naturopathy (this reminds me of Sympathy and Empathy therapy....just the rhyming though)UPDATE: It ain\'t official until you see it on my diet blog. THAT\'S when I officially start my diet. fortunately, people won\'t find my diet blog haha. Anyway, I\'ll also be taking up exercise. Is that a surprise?? Self-care, people, self-care...I\'m on ...CONSIDER ME Updates as of December 1, 2015RECENT UPDATES:Yes, it takes some time to get over a love that was lost - from weeks to years, depending on...uhm...many factors.[By the way, if you would still want to read the previous bunch of updates (the one mentioning that Harry laughed at the shade...Previous CONSIDER ME UpdatesUPDATES:Don*t worry, we*re STILL exes....however, we still do communicate (less now of course).No,No,No....NOT Night Changes....just...CHANGES (revisions)Harry seldom reacts negatively when I do posts or graphics, so when something*s off with him, I pay a...Past Updates (transferred here)UPDATE: 1. New post: Head or Heart??(As usual, this is pro-"us", pro-Harry, pro-me and anti-enemy)Past updates:3 things:1. Post 2: Am I HINTING that I want Harry back? (Answer: No, and you should read the post before this one first. We still DO try to be ...WHICH WINS WITH ME: HEAD OR HEART??Yesterday, there was someone (one of my enemies...I just love that these people inspire so many posts and graphics about my fave topics!) who said to me:"Your so-called break-up with Harry is a sham break-up. It*s not real. You*re both obviously very swee...AM I HINTING TO THE WORLD AT LARGE...THAT I WANT HARRY BACK? (AM I WISHY-WASHY??)The following refers to my post which immediately precedes this one:Some people, notably, my enemies (those who dislike me intensely for various reasons) have a particular, evil pleasure, which is mocking and taunting me about being wishy-washy and having...Harry DID react when I said something to the effect of "Maybe there*s been a gear shift in my feelings, maybe I love him less..." (in my post WHY IT*S FINAL)His reaction is typical of him, especially in what I*ve written of some of the mysterious issues in our relationship. (Like I couldn*t for the life of me understand WHY he*s focusing on one guy, and this person became the subject of our conflicts and near...THE TRUE STATE OF MY HEART RIGHT NOW*SUMMARY OF MY PRESENT LOVELIFE AND THE CURRENT STATE OF MY HEART:Like I*ve said above, it*s NOT "first you will and then you won*t"...I*m not wishy-washy about the major decisions in my life (being wishy-washy is for wimps) (of course, as a woman I reser...UPDATES (various, from the front page)1. Got some new posts on the Journal hereNO, it*s NOT "first you will, then you won*t" as a despicable female deejay in the Philippines insinuated (FM/94.7...So the question now is...Who, among the workers mingling there, is that particularly ugly soul?? ...WHY IT*S HARDER NOW (TO FORGET HARRY) ALTHOUGH I*M CONFIDENT ABOUT MY DECISION TO REMAIN HIS EX...I CAN DO THIS THOUGH IT*S HARDWhen he and I were just friends, he was just a kid...I actually could NOT conceive of us being "that way" with each other...Now he*s all grown up, and not only that...he has gotten hotter than ever, hotter than anyone I*ve ever seen on Earth...and I look ...INTRODUCTION 2 (to "CONSIDER ME" in Umbrella Girl by Apple Mayflowers)Excerpt from the article/open letter "Consider Me" in Umbrella Girl by Apple Mayflowers:INTRODUCTION 2I finally made a graphic that expresses the gist of the entire article "in 50 words or less". (You don*t have to read the article/open letter rotfl) (yes...WE*RE GOODHarry and I may not be compatible as lovers (What is incompatibility?...In lovers, it*s when you both want differing things out of life...it*s having clashing goals and values)...but as friends, even best friends, we*re good (since one normally doesn*t ha...WHY IT*S FINAL - PART 2 (PLUS...That October 8th note asking Harry to stop courting me)This used to be on another page. However the other post would not load so it*s now here)It started with a plea/request: BFF HARRY SUPERMAN (or HARRY S. for short)...I*ve been good to you...I beg of you to stop courting me or trying to win me...You already...WHY IT*S FINAL - Part 1... (It*s not just about Harry...I feel I deserve a rest from all the hassles only young people must go through because they*re starting families)Do you all WANT to know WHY I think it*s FINAL??THIS IS AN OCTOBER 13TH UPDATE - to an October 8th post - right on this page - where I announced that I had an article called "Consider Me" - a detailed post about the various complexities {read: NOT simple ...THE GUY WHO COULD BE MY NEXT BOYFRIEND?...THIS POST IS MORE ABOUT HARRY...ALTHOUGH I DO MENTION THAT GUY OR GUYS LIKE HIM ACTUALLY...*Why do some people over-react...I mentioned in my previous post (the Thank You Page prior to this one) that a certain guy could be my next boyfriend (people were intrigued)....well...BECAUSE we almost became an item a few years back...in 2012...and my me...UPDATE ON 5 ARTICLES...UPDATE October 13, 2015: BEFORE I got sick I wrote this:CURRENTLY, I*M IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING MY RESPONSE TO A PARTICULARLY NASTY RUMOUR ABOUT ME (HEY, ABOUT ME THIS TIME!)...I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CONFIRM OR DENY IT...SO WHAT WOULD THE REAL STORY BE? ...THANK YOU PAGE....THANK YOU TO HARRY, SOME PEOPLE, GUYS AND GALS...TO SOME, MY PUBLIC THANKS IS 12 YEARS OVERDUE!!! I SHOULD HAVE THANKED SOME OF YOU YEARS AGO PUBLICLY (YES, I DID THANK YOU ALL PRIVATELY BUT THERE SHOULD BE PUBLIC THANKS TOO)...This post is being edited...it will be back, improved and/or clearer in its contents. (Or maybe not...improved, I mean...but it will be back!)...LOVE IS MYSTERIOUSLove enters our lives without being invited...we just "fall" into it...and later we decide we want to STAY in love for that special someone [A Catholic priest and psychologist Father John Powell, S.J. once wrote a book entitled "The Secret of Staying In L...A CASE OF BAD TIMING (WITH NONE TO BLAME)...AND YET, BAD TIMING SHIFTS MOODS (ESPECIALLY TOWARD UNROMANTIC INCLINATIONS AND/OR PESSIMISM) AND IT*S A VERY UNFORTUNATE OCCURENCE Know this early though that I support polygamy, ALTHOUGH I DON*T PRACTICE IT. For me, those who prefer it need not be condemned by others, especially the monogamists (who do call polygamists immoral...now that*s just not fair!). Sometimes it*s just respe...FROM MY PROFILE THIS WEEK (See Date)Meanwhile, here was what I wrote previously, and remember, the latest news is the FIRST sentence of this profile and it begins with the word UPDATE. (clear?)- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I\'m in the p... Recently Spotted MembersNo members found. Be the first. |
