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Journal for amypinkglass_2Journal for amypinkglass_2
His reaction is typical of him, especially in what I*ve written of some of the mysterious issues in our relationship. (Like I couldn*t for the life of me understand WHY he*s focusing on one guy, and this person became the subject of our conflicts and near-break-ups in the past)

(and yes, I*ve noticed that I*m the one who*s supposed to be in a jealous rage regarding three girlfriends which he could NOT let go of....but I already said I could*ve been the wife of a polygamist if he asked nicely, but he wouldn*t...and this post isn*t a rehash of our recent fights, but speaks of an entirely different thing - which is...my philosophy about where we end up in terms of our love-lives...and also how cute Harry is, even when he*s really not destined to be mine.)

So when I said, **...there has been like a "gear shift" in my feelings...Many will get it and say that I probably don*t love Harry enough. Just like with Wolf, to whom I put my foot down when he said he could "maybe want two girlfriends" (at the same time)...I didn*t love Wolf enough to GO ON with talks about "my sacrifice" and all that...there just wasn*t enough love for me to go on fixing "us". No more motivation.**

Harry actually reacted to that declaration of mine by saying, "It*s so easy to understand why you don*t love me enough...You actually love THAT GUY more. Infact, YES, HE WON, he*s the clear winner!"

And when I said that he was very wrong, he said, "Mark my words. You will BE announcing that you*re WITH HIM!"

Now I have something to say , not only about THAT GUY, but about life itself and my decisions.

THAT GUY is one of my suitors, although I can truly say Harry would have a heart attack if he knew who else are courting me. The names of the guys are not the subject of my comment, however.

What I want to say is that THAT GUY and guys like him are something different, something I*ve never tried before. I have mentioned several times in the past that - after a break-up, my tendency is to say that maybe I have to try something different next time in order to avoid the same old problems. So yes, I*m OPEN to any possibility, even being with the likes of THAT GUY.

WHAT is the status of THAT GUY in my life, by the way?? Harry would like to know. For sure...As far as I can tell, I think he*s nice (all my suitors are), and he is very handsome and manly too. But you know, so are my other suitors!

As for being head over heels for anyone, he or any guy CAN BE the focus of my heart someday...BUT there*s just no one but Harry in my heart RIGHT NOW (It*s the truth) (Yes, because he*s so sexy). I*m counting on getting over my best friend though, because no matter how handsome and sexy he is, he just ISN*T my Destined One.

So what I*m saying is that THAT GUY OR any other guy like him OR unlike him...are all possibilities for the future. One day, my heart might fall in love again (or it might not, and remain focused on Harry...we just can*t tell the future now, can we?). And THEN I would decide if I would act on my feelings. I will be wiser, because being alone for me is sometimes too precious to give up.

So Harry*s assumption is wrong, when he brings on references to THAT GUY. I can*t understand his obsession with that man. Although that guy is really a good person, it will take actual involvement in projects or some other timely circumstance to see more of what this man is like, and then my heart would make up its own mind whether to fall in love or not. And I can*t control my heart, so I just obey it. (Initially, that is.)

This is what my son said, when I asked his advice on how to handle Harry*s obsession with one man. He said, "Harry KNOWS he*s such a great catch that ONLY SOMEONE GREATER could beat him to your heart. At any rate, that*s how he thinks. He sees SOMETHING GREAT in THAT GUY, something he doesn*t have, and therefore cannot give to you."

Well talk about a refreshing point of view, a different opinion!

I always thought it was a just matter of Harry knowing WHO ELSE was courting me so he would stop obsessing solely on one man!

Anyway, both views on my best friend*s obsession are valid. There ARE other guys, only that he doesn*t know their names, so I think he tends to obsess on someone he knows loves me too. And yes, he*s probably thinking along those lines that my son indicated.

But my dear friend Harry*s reaction to the notion of me "probably not loving him enough to go on with the fixing of our problems" is how he would always react whenever there*s a stalemate in the fixing of our problems...he ALWAYS says, "I know. It*s because of THAT GUY."

(He*s so cute and adorable when he*s jealous *gushing nervous laugh*) (omg...no people, we*re NOT planning on getting back together!) (but yes..ain*t he sooo cute when he*s obsessing on that guy??) (He even said, "I know you*re just DYING to get laid by him because you think he*s oh-so-SEXY!") (...Now really: lol cute!)

[Note: For obvious reasons, I sometimes don*t give the EXACT words , for example...he SELDOM says THAT GUY; instead says the guy*s ACTUAL name...Of course I refuse to divulge that here, it*s one of the aspects of our privacy as best friends...and yes, I*m always hoping we as figures talked about by the public are mistaken for other people sometimes because that helps maintain my comfort level wherein I feel that I*m STILL blogging anonymously haha (don*t mind me)...BUT he did say THAT GUY a couple of times in the past, etc.]
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