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Transferring song lyrics around...I realized it*s not fun to look at too many break-up songs when you*re feeling downright giddy about someone new. I mean, this could be the love of my life if you think about it...everything falls perfectly into place and all that, don*t you think so?
I*m placing the account of a certain thing that happened because my enemies weren*t too happy that I was involved with someone famous who they believed HAD to be paired up with another celebrity, like another singer, an actress or a model, not me! Well, enemies, eat your heart out is all I can say. We stumble upon a great gift, possibly the greatest thing that happened to our lives and that*s that. It*s called Love.
UPDATE: JUNE 5, 2015 A HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE STORY APPEARED SOMEWHERE THERE. I WILL NOT GIVE THE LINK, BECAUSE I DON*T WANT TO CONNECT TO THAT PARTICULAR WRITER.
This is the expanded version of the story on the radio interview between a famous DJ and himself, shortly AFTER the news spread that my then green-eyed bf had a new, older girlfriend. A mention of this interview appears in another post here, "WE*RE NOT DESPERATE FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX....* (in a pink-coloured ASIDE COMMENT)
Might as well tell the complete story. JUST THE FACTS, okay?
This could have been a potentially hurtful news item on the net to me personally...but knowing him, I was pretty sure he didn*t say anything *inappropriate* (and this word is the favourite one in this post) and that some fabrication was involved with the headline claiming, **First nameLast name (Singer) reacts to *inappropriate* girlfriend rumors**
(WHAT?!!????) I calmed myself down and said, surely, after years of telling me he loved me, he might have explained that I wasn*t a so-called inappropriate choice...
It turned out that there was no mention of that in the radio interview!
This is a story of how some journalists can twist the truth into something totally invented. And hey presto, we*ve got more news!!
This is what actually happened: He was asked a question in the said telephone interview, and his answer was that he had "no time" for things like "playing around" (with women, he meant).
The radio interviewer actually INADVERTENTLY BUNDLED HIS QUESTION as "Are your music compositions reflective of recent love experiences and playing around?"
(This is a fairly identical rendition of the actual question. I*ll be back to edit this using the actual words though)
Since it was an overseas telephone interview, there might have been some microwave interference so that he actually heard only the last part, on which he reassured the interviewer he had "no time for" things like "that" (playing around). Of course he had time for things like true love...we all make time for it and he had just started getting involved in a new one (me) at the time of the phone interview. The phone interview was conducted beforehand (June 4, 2015), and the article appeared on the net on June 5, 2015.
(Note that I really love his way about it, that of being enigmatic and mysterious about his love life, so he just smiles and never says a word. What I also love about it is that it makes everybody accept the facts and they know he is just wants them to respect his privacy; like it*s his personal affair after all...)
Back to the incident: Having seen an opening, that it also SEEMED like he really said "he has no time for things like that...he has no time for things like falling in love and playing around"; my enemies in the media were predictably quick to pounce on it (particularly one very bold attacker) and portrayed that as my then-boyfriend flatly denying that he was involved with ANYONE, much less an "inappropriate girlfriend" (term supplied by a female writer of a news article on this radio interview; although obviously there was never the mention of such a term as "inappropriate girlfriend" in the radio interview itself!).
Fabrication and innuendo at work here...well...haha. Now that I*ve mentioned it, let*s watch her delete/edit her article as fast as a bubble bursts...or insist on it staying online as *credit* and *proof* or her *work* as a writer!
No wonder I don*t trust mainstream news journalists and many celebrity news bloggers...there*s no dignity nor integrity nor the passion for truthful information in a lot of them anymore!
It*s greatly misquoted and twisted out of context.
(More like it*s a highly inappropriate article by a very inappropriate news writer.)
["IT*S GOT TO BE LOVE" Composers: Andy Hill, A. Nicholas]
We all have the right to smile if we want to See?
Am I falling? But he*s just a friend...I told those who follow me that we*re just friends....and yet, there*s no use denying it any longer. The one I love is experiencing separation anxiety and much worry that I would be snatched away by someone else. He loves me so much.
Do I love him? Well what do you think?
Most of you say my actions (specially those hidden smiles) (and occasional staring into space) speak louder than words.
Meanwhile, here is a cute song that has nothing to do with being friends for a long time (he and I) (the song actually speaks about having just met someone) but the feelings and the question evoked (i.e. "Is this love?" It*s got to be love!) apply to our situation...that it*s got to be love *cause we*re feeling it.
By the way, the lyrics in all the YouTube versions and lyric websites I viewed were all wrong so it*s worth posting the correct lyrics here (or so I think).
[UPDATE: JULY 1, 2015 My goodness Harry I still love you...I hope you don*t go this far into my journal though:
Mon homme, mon miel et doucer Je t*aime ...mon cheri, mon petit ami beau ultra, vous etes super sexy!♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
So that means I lost, right? If this is a power struggle I mean...I don*t like how the world looks at break-ups... He and I don*t need to hurt each other while seeking a new way of living (Still with each other??) How about...without each other?? Maybe! Right...????? But I want to be his woman so badly!!!!!! (Hey, Self-control....) Don*t you realize that getting back together should mean that both of you should have changed substantially for the better first, so that the angry exchange you had that caused the break-up won*t ever happen again?? Let time pass...let maturity change the two of you...then love could possibly grow even deeper...(Just don*t presume anything now...If you were meant to be together, then you will be together...if not, then wish him well...)
[color=saddlebrown][b]Little Annie, you must be better for his sake, just as he strives to be a better and more loving/patient person each day. And...It*s always okay to wish him well and hope he*ll be very happy always. AGAIN: Don*t presume too much about his feelings...Live from day to day, happily!
[ACTUALLY this is an elaborate advice I give myself when I*m missing him way too much...I just go here to remind myself that it*s easy to say we got back together, yet that PROVOKES bad people from all over the world to try to destroy us/our love all over again.
PLUS I never said couples shouldn*t fight...I am merely saying that fights shouldn*t be huge as to cause break-ups...like when fights negate every good thing that has gone on before. Of course couples fight...that*s normal, as long as they*re small fights that won*t push the other to the edge.]
Little Annie, you must be better for his sake, just as he strives to be a better and more loving/patient person each day. And...It*s always okay to wish him well and hope he*ll be very happy always. AGAIN: Don*t presume too much about his feelings...Live from day to day, happily!
[UPDATE: JULY 3, 2015 Some people said I*m talking nonsense (above) and am planning to leave him. Well, the thing is, when you love someone truly, you hope you*ll get together someday...and eventually, you hope to get all that sex from him. That*s all I can say, folks.]
2015!!!!...Their Tour of 2015 (I won*t say the name of it to protect his privacy...but I wonder how many of you know who owns this journal and who I*m talking about)...
Anyway the said tour has got to be the most memorable to me...This was the year I accepted his love...and in particular I loved his performance at their concert in Helsinki. I also loved his Oslo Norway performance, and the Cardiff Wales one. Actually I loved everything (well except our fight, of course).
Je n’en crois pas mes yeux !...Although I prefer his printed silk shirts (they make him look so hot and older than his bandmates (a-man-among-boys-look), ANYTHING he wears looks fantastic on him *cause he*s so sexy! He actually wore a dark green t-shirt and dark blue denim pants in the Helsinki concert...this carries loads of meaning but only for the two of us (I can*t reveal everything to the world, sorry). I*m in love with you too Honey....(omg, he must not see this...this is overly gushy!!)
My best friend greeted me, you know...last week too...
To those who did it, thank you for dedicating the song "I Will Survive"... it does help!!!
Why do I keep mentioning my best friend these days? Well, he*s changing...physically I mean...looking so much like a full grown man now, not like a teenager any more...I*m reacting to him differently now, oh my gosh...that sexy body...what am I saying?!?
Starting to feel something though...no, it*s not because he was physically near last week...no, I*m ALWAYS near him anyway...but now it*s more than friendship I feel...Suddenly the way he walks or talks or moves and expresses his feelings in a song affects me greatly...and it*s like he*s my world...and I want to...
Now Featuring: FIREANGELZ4 (Barb) plus moderators in general (So first I wrote about our beloved DN site owner, now we go onto his equally beloved official moderators):
To those curious about what Fireangelsz4 (Barb) helped me with(many of you have seen the note on the right side and thought it was about disfunctional (old-spelling dis not dys), it was with the deletion of duplicate wallpapers...several times in a row!
[Reporting duplicates was my game: At first I felt it was my strict duty to be hyper-vigilant...until I saw too many (and it got harder to do with so many), and after a while, reporting things and all that (time well-spent by the way, helping to keep DN spiffy), I just left it to the owners of the walls to report them...and one day my own wallpaper was duplicated so I was back in business! I think accidents do happen here on DN and the scanning for duplicates goes awry, and in reality these things can*t be helped!]
Back to Barb:...And so it just gets warmer, the more you get to know someone, you find out they*re so nice! I joined several of her groups because I*m interested in those things like horses, etc.
MODERATORS IN GENERAL: At first I thought it would be tough getting along with the Moderators (they do have a strict reputation and aura) but as time goes on, your view changes and it*s not tough to get along with them at all...
I have NOT banned him at all, My Crush. Things, though, have changed a lot. He has to do many things in order to insure that the decisions he has made remain that way...he has decided to marry the mother of his children because of the threat of her taking them far, far way...so he has decided that he*d stick to his decisions no matter what...a manly trait, y*know...
Yes, HE*S SO DARN HOT AND SEXY!...that*s why he*s My Crush! And when I say someone*s my crush I am actually madly in love with him. That*s just how I say it. "Crush"...
Sexiness in is something money can*t buy or match. It*s just there, or you*ll realize it*s there, like when someone changes. It pulls at you even when you*re not willing to be pulled. Even if you say,"Well, I*ll hold back about five more years...that*ll keep me safe from love*s hurts, at least for now..."
(NOTE THAT some people have actually said, "Sure money can buy sexiness. Look at how billionaires have their way with women!" People, we*re never talking of materialistic ladies here, who do exist just as materialistic men do. These types judge someone, ANYONE according to monetary considerations, who has more and whatnot...we*re not talking about those who measure others only that way...We*re talking of normal folk, who get blown away by personality or intelligence or passion or soul.) We*re actually talking about what turns a woman on about a man*s essence.)
The measure of a man is what he would be worth if he lost all his money.
The value of a man is who he is.
What do I mean? I mean that a man*s manliness (and let*s add his sexiness to it!) is the measure of his essence, who he is. ALL that he wants to achieve in life, status, power and/or even monetary achievements ALSO comes from who he is, so all the way, he operates from his essence. But we all know THAT, don*t we? Sometimes though, we have to articulate it.
Yeah, I*m being philosophical. I do that when I*m in limbo, not knowing if I would lose someone for sure...because he still misses me...Let*s wait for a definite time when we can say we know what*s up.
[UPDATE: Now*s the time. Just read the update below...entitled...uhm...UPDATE.]
And so far...what?
Love cannot be lost just by willing it so.
I*ve said, also on my profile, in the past, and I always say it, that you just can*t shut love off like the faucet or tap. It continues to live if it wants to. There*s just no way to control love, who we love, when we fall in love and why.
That*s why we say "we fell" in love...we didn*t mean to, actually, but we fell.
So right at this moment, I still love him, I miss him, and get nightmares every now and then.["Shane...come back, Shane!!! NNnnoooooo!!!!!!!!"]
Everything in my heart regarding him is all up to him. If he wants me enough he*ll come for me. that*s what I*ve always believed. Love is all about fate for a woman. A woman cannot say "Be my life-partner" to any man!!...It\'s the men who decide if they want to chase you or not...it\'s always about what would be worth their time, it\'s their choice...Now if a woman has enough men chasing her, then it\'s her choice, she can then pick from among all those men that want her.
So if he doesn*t come for me or give me news like,"I\'ve decided to be with you instead of her" then we\'re working with nothing here...or at least by myself, I\'m actually waiting for nothing. Whatever he decides is just fine with me...Really. Eventually I could lose him even if he says he misses me sometimes.
If I really am not his love, this is NOT the time to know that. Well at least that*s what I think...that we BOTH are "not sure" somehow. (wishful thinking again)
I think he and I are experiencing ambivalence, when you*re not really sure you want to let go (In other painful words, I*m his back-up plan. No I don*t mean to accuse him, but if you*re not sure, there*s pain for the one who*s wondering if you*ll marry your fiance or run away.)
[UPDATE: March 28, 2015: "I could have saved a broken heart if I found out long ago..."...Just that one line from a song, not the entire song, because the whole of it does NOT apply...but this line does...to my situation. I could*ve saved myself from falling if I knew from the start that he HAD ALREADY BELIEVED those who have spoken against me.
But THE QUESTION REALLY IS: Now that I*ve found out what he thought of me to begin with, and the rest was just madness, whether it was pretend jealousy on his part or whatnot, maybe it was real jealousy and caring (right?)...maybe for a while he slipped and actually was a bit attracted to me...maybe he was just drunk while staring at me and the waitress just kept serving him beer...so there was some insanity there...he*s nicely recovered, right? -
- the question now is : Does "t h i s" CHANGE his value, his worth in my eyes???
I think not. NO. I could*ve saved myself from pain, but really now, he is TRULY, in fact SO DARN HOT AND SEXY!!! And DOWNRIGHT MYSTERIOUS, the thing that drew me in. Now that I know WHAT he has ALWAYS thought of me (not so good!) all I can say is: Lucky is the girl who wins his wild and sexy heart! (So far, NO WOMAN has WON its FEELING yet! But SOMEONE at least is SOOO LUCKY to, a FEW MONTHS FROM NOW, have the LEGAL RIGHT to demand sex and tie him up and...)]
Oh, was this profile more about him? Well...what is about him is about me too! He changed who I am; having loved him, I now have loved more.
See?