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Journal for amypinkglassJournal for amypinkglass
Mar
28
Happy
THREE THINGS are on my mind, that have been a cause of so much misunderstanding before...when I had a boyfriend...and my enemies just could get in enough bad things to say about me.


So what I meant to say was these things could surface again because some issues have already been presented publicly about me again...All I can say about that is that Jesus had lots of enemies too (haters, actually) so what else is new under the sun?



We all do certain things we*ve always done before...yet somehow our loved one sees it differently, as if it were a rejection or something...or something not good...

Here are things I do that could certainly be misinterpreted...and I sure hope I change (regarding this first item, smiling)...because I think the point of love is that we become better for the other person...

Anyway, my enemies refuse to stop trying to ruin my life, so they are so responsible for spreading the misunderstanding that*s been around from way back (when they first started spreading misinformation and rumours).



1. When I wake up I don*t smile. What*s wrong with that? And I NEVER WAS the smiling kind of girl anyway...I always frown and that means love! Hahahaha!!

I actually became well-known PARTLY because of a photo of me SMILING, imagine that! So ironic!

My tendency now is to correct myself...indeed, why won*t I smile? I*ll give it a try...

Also, my son says I*m the Smiling Mum...whatever gave him that notion?

"Well," he would say, "everytime I look at you, you*re smiling, as if you have a very beautiful secret!!"

To me that*s odd because everybody says I don*t smile enough!

I think I TEND TO SMILE OR NOT DEPENDING ON WHO IT IS THAT*S RIGHT INFRONT OF ME.

Still, the MEMORY of the man I*m secretly in love with right now (well they say it*s so obvious...how can this be a secret?) TYPICALLY SHOULD bring a smile to my face...

This is SUCH a big issue with a boyfriend or someone who has the first rights of claiming you (yeah I*m referring to "him" my green-eyed crush)...I*m not saying he has complained...But men love to see women smiling, and I*m just not that kind! Time to change, I guess.



2. When a relative comes to town, I sometimes visit and/or sleep overnight...and rumors would be spread by my enemies...they always say I met with a strange man who was not my boyfriend...and they say this to provoke jealousy or bad thoughts...

Well, fact is, three streets away there stands the big house of my cousin and all our relatives sleep there when they arrive from overseas...Two particular relatives want me to sleep over...My aunt who took care of me when I was little (I call her Mommy/Nanay) and my female cousin who*s my age...The rest of my relatives I merely visit...

Anyway, this thing caused too many controversies in the past...and my female cousin is arriving soon...I might or might not sleep over. I wonder if there would be disastrous rumors again...hope not...



3. When I*m so shy, I do hide my posts or transfer them to other places...and the man I love might see that as me having changed my mind about him, like, why is she hiding those praises now...doesn*t she feel that way about me anymore?

(No, it*s not that My Darling, My Super-Sexy and Gorgeous Hunk...I*m just being shy, that*s all...And if you look hard enough, you*ll find them again, I mean, if you ever saw them in the first place...*shy* if you*ve seen them, especially the french thingy...)



The question would now be: If you really think these three things are sources of misunderstanding WHY NOT CHANGE ALL THREE SITUATIONS to prevent ANY misunderstanding?

Well, first of all, this is ME, I really don*t smile much (I want to change that though), my relatives really DO visit and WANT me to sleep over SOMETIMES, and I really am SHY.

Sometimes so shy that I run away from a hunky sexy guy (used to do that when I was a teenager) and now I*m so embarrassed at the thought that my crush would find some outpourings of love here and there...

(Well particularly the french-language thingy wherein I actually called him My Ultra Handsome Boyfriend, but in french, so it*s particularly romantic, you know what I*m saying? (No?)...The thing makes me shy, so I hid it...yeah, it*s not rational...neither is being scared of this and that...it*s almost like a compliment when I run away from someone hehe...quirky me.)


Yes, when we love someone, we accept everything about them no matter how odd...but it*s a give-and-take thing.

First we try to change what we can about ourselves as hard as we could...and the things we cannot change, well, let*s just accept that there are certain things we cannot change and live with that.

With lovers, we weigh things...There are certain things they do to us that are a no-go...we decide we can*t live under those conditions...and we separate from someone. Likewise, we decide we cannot live without certain things done to us, and this makes us decide we don*t ever want to live life without those things....and this makes us realize we want someone in our lives for certain...possibly forever.



Anyway, I had to write about those three potential sources of misunderstanding...I*ll try to change when or if I could, and if it doesn*t work, then it*s either acceptance by a loved one or the loss of a loved one all over again...

Again, such is life...we can*t control everything...storms come, can we weather them all? Should we? Would we?
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