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There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His
father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every
time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into
the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his
temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each
day that he was able to hold his temper. The days
passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his
father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to
the fence. He said, "You have done well, boy, but look
at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the
same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar
just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw
it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

The little boy then understood how powerful his words
were. He looked up at his father and said "I hope you
can forgive me father for the holes I put in you."

"Of course I can," said the father.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general.
There are no "fresh starts" in life. There is no new
beginning. Forgiveness comes easy for many
people but the scars of the past, they never go
away. Watch what you do today, because sometimes
the price isn't worth the reward.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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After being married for 30 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an alphabet wife ... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks, "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, and Hot."

She smiled. "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his 'family jewels.'


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I walked into the bar and sat near an older woman. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a 'Sportsman's Double?'

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's a mother/daughter three-some," she said.

My mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered
what her daughter might look like?

I said, "No, I haven't."

We drank a few more, then she said with a wink,
"Tonight's your lucky night."

We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on
the hall light and shouted upstairs...

"Mom... are you still awake?"


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Have a jolly time shopping with the wife, or relaxing by the pool!

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Jesus walks into a Hotel and places nails on the reception desk. The receptionist takes a moment to understand, not speaking Aramaic, but is able to explain in mime that nails are not legal tender.

After Jesus leaves, a duck that has been kind of harassing the receptionist for the last few days by asking for grapes waddles in. The duck asks if the receptionist has any nails, and the receptionist finally snaps. Deciding to walk out on the most ludicrous workday of his life, the receptionist goes to the bar, and is infuriated to find it closed.

Earlier that day a horse walked into that bar.

The bartender said, "Why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before it's knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar was closed for the rest of the day.

So the receptionist finding it closed jimmies open a window, not caring who sees. But two old friends across the street, a priest and a rabbi, DO see. They decide they should do something to calm this agitated man down, and follow him into the bar.

The bartender, having spent all day cleaning up after the horse, sees the receptionist, the priest, and the rabbi come into the bar, and stops scrubbing long enough to ask, "Is this some kind of a joke?!"

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