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Full Name:mike reggie
Last Login:5/4/16
Join Date:1/24/11
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   8/19/16 at 9:13pm
Joe was sitting in class doing math problems, when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Joe? If there were five birds sitting on a fence, and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"

"None," replied Joe, "because the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Joe says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess, it's the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Joe. "It's the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you're thinking."

:)
gubiciiPosted by gubicii   7/16/16 at 4:22pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   6/16/16 at 9:23pm


There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His
father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every
time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into
the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his
temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each
day that he was able to hold his temper. The days
passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his
father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to
the fence. He said, "You have done well, boy, but look
at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the
same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar
just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw
it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

The little boy then understood how powerful his words
were. He looked up at his father and said "I hope you
can forgive me father for the holes I put in you."

"Of course I can," said the father.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general.
There are no "fresh starts" in life. There is no new
beginning. Forgiveness comes easy for many
people but the scars of the past, they never go
away. Watch what you do today, because sometimes
the price isn't worth the reward.


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   5/16/16 at 8:08pm
Always live life to its fullest with no regrets and...

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   5/13/16 at 9:44pm


I've had better days, but I've had worse days, too!
Play safe, and have a fantastic week-end!
May God Bless & protect you...
See you Monday!


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   5/5/16 at 9:20am


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/24/16 at 11:19pm


After being married for 30 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an alphabet wife ... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks, "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, and Hot."

She smiled. "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his 'family jewels.'


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/23/16 at 3:48am


I walked into the bar and sat near an older woman. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a 'Sportsman's Double?'

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's a mother/daughter three-some," she said.

My mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered
what her daughter might look like?

I said, "No, I haven't."

We drank a few more, then she said with a wink,
"Tonight's your lucky night."

We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on
the hall light and shouted upstairs...

"Mom... are you still awake?"


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/16/16 at 7:07am


Have a jolly time shopping with the wife, or relaxing by the pool!


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/15/16 at 8:24am

Thank God It's Friday!
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/13/16 at 10:58am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/11/16 at 8:25am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/11/16 at 6:17am
Do you remember this song and by who?

https://youtu.be/UFv-fqQ9D_Y
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/10/16 at 7:54am


Jesus walks into a Hotel and places nails on the reception desk. The receptionist takes a moment to understand, not speaking Aramaic, but is able to explain in mime that nails are not legal tender.

After Jesus leaves, a duck that has been kind of harassing the receptionist for the last few days by asking for grapes waddles in. The duck asks if the receptionist has any nails, and the receptionist finally snaps. Deciding to walk out on the most ludicrous workday of his life, the receptionist goes to the bar, and is infuriated to find it closed.

Earlier that day a horse walked into that bar.

The bartender said, "Why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before it's knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar was closed for the rest of the day.

So the receptionist finding it closed jimmies open a window, not caring who sees. But two old friends across the street, a priest and a rabbi, DO see. They decide they should do something to calm this agitated man down, and follow him into the bar.

The bartender, having spent all day cleaning up after the horse, sees the receptionist, the priest, and the rabbi come into the bar, and stops scrubbing long enough to ask, "Is this some kind of a joke?!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/8/16 at 11:43pm


Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around a shopping mall when they collide.

The old guy says, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24-years old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big breasts, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a red halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter - let's go look for yours."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/2/16 at 5:26pm


A Hillbilly Family are visiting a shopping mall for their first time. The father and son are separated from the wife and two daughters. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two, shiny silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Pa?"

The father responded, "Son, I've never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an older lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous, young, red-haired woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go get your mother!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/2/16 at 7:20am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/31/16 at 5:02am

Another day, another joke!

A hooded bank robber walks into a bank with two empty bags, and demands they be filled with money. When his bags were full he started making his way out when a brave soldier ripped his mask off and sees his face. The robber, realizing his face has been exposed, shoots and kills him dead. The robber turns around and sees a bank teller looking him so he walks up to him and shoots him in the head. He puts his mask back on and yells, "Did anyone else see my face?"

At this point everyone is staring at the floor too terrified to look up.

After a few moments of silence an old woman raises her hand while keeping her face toward the floor she says, "My husband got a pretty good long look at your ugly face."



PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/26/16 at 9:47am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/25/16 at 12:52am
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