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Full Name:Tess Lara
Last Login:12/22/14
Join Date:12/22/14
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AndruhaifPosted by Andruhaif   2/26/19 at 1:21pm

gubiciiPosted by gubicii   6/24/17 at 6:06pm
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gubiciiPosted by gubicii   2/17/16 at 5:54pm
ASpirited1Posted by ASpirited1   1/8/16 at 3:58am
I'm back my old friend. TheSpiritedOne xx

Have a great weekend my friend.
Thinking of you. Den oxo
gubiciiPosted by gubicii   12/22/15 at 6:20pm
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KK_DESIGNSPosted by KK_DESIGNS   6/18/15 at 12:43am
Bugatti Veyron
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/20/15 at 3:07pm

His 7-year old son has lost his first upper incisor this week. The boy woke-up to find a dollar under his pillow.

His wife was disturbed, "A whole dollar? What happened to giving out quarters?"

Last night, he lost his second front incisor. Again, the son found a dollar under his pillow.

His wife says, "Don't you think that's too much money to be giving for a tooth?"

"I don't know," the husband answers, "they looked like buck-teeth to me."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/19/15 at 9:47pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/16/15 at 3:44pm

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out. He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The moral of this story is:

Not everyone who drops dung on you is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of dung is your friend. And when you're neck-deep in doo-doo, keep your mouth shut!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/12/15 at 4:33pm

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment, grinning from ear to ear.

Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?"

The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a 45-year old woman, I have the breasts of a 18-year old."

"Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your 45-year old bum?"

She said, "Your name was never mentioned in the conversation."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/12/15 at 1:35pm

Angels Explained by Children

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold. --Elaine, age 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. --Vivvy, age 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. --Jodi, age 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. --Tony, age 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science. --Vince, age 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows! --Kate, age 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. --David, age 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there's a tornado. --Linda, age 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter. --Alexa, age 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. --Diana, age 8

All angels are girls, because they got to wear dresses and boys didn't go for it. --Jake, age 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. --Amy, age 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. -- John, age 8
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/11/15 at 3:12am
I was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I've just finished cleaning the floors."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

5. And my mother taught me MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're ever in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop picking your nose, and stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY: "There's millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait... until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it from your father when he gets home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me!"

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS: "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/8/15 at 3:29pm

A man wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: 'Darling, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.' So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "John, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a big black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, he asks, "So, why is everything in order, and so neat and clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you into the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said,

'Lady, leave me alone. I'm happily married!' "

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