CollieSmile 9 years ago

[B]
[url=http://www.crystalscomments.com/graphics/174/p/1/][img]http://images.crystalscomments.com/1/97586135216980f90808.gif[/img][/url]
[url=http://www.crystalscomments.com/graphics/174/p/1/][img]http://images.crystalscomments.com/1/9750992521690c8be430.jpg[/img][/url]

Father Time & I are dropping by to see you & say goodbye to

[URL=//abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/2063373/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/2063/2063373-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Let's say hello to 2017 instead! :D

[URL=//abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/2209735/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/2209/2209735-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Yahooooooo! It's a brand new year! Be sure to party and celebrate it to the max! :D
[url=http://www.crystalscomments.com/graphics/174/p/1/][img]http://images.crystalscomments.com/1/9756283521695e0a3b93.jpg[/img][/url]
Best warm wishes for you in the New Year. I'm looking forward to more Collies, more Cows, more Wonderful Wallpapers, more Smiles, more Kindness, and more FUN on DN with you! :D :D :D

Love & Hugs,

Elaine :)
[url=http://www.crystalscomments.com/graphics/174/p/1/][img]http://images.crystalscomments.com/1/9759488521698df9eb50.gif[/img][/url]
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Puppydawg 9 years ago

[I]Jenny, a blonde girl, came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" Jenny asked.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," she answered.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good, Jenny," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day, Jenny came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"

And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Oh, uh, very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24-years old."[/I]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[B][color=purple][I]Enjoy the video, sunlight, and hugs![/I][/color][/B]

[URL=http://architecture.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1714385/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1714/1714385-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]


[B]https://youtu.be/aDIN26yxbnw
[/B]

[img]http://media2.picsearch.com/is?td7rZQC8QWDh9ppyHLR2kndsV632D7PIuVrQI_0IFik&height=227[/img]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://www.imagehousing.com/image/541067][IMG]http://img1.imagehousing.com/79/64867dd0773d066588a2ff43a8ce41da.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Puppydawg 11 years ago

[URL=http://www.mastergreetings.com/greetings/Christmas/New_3.html][IMG]http://g.mastergreetings.com/christmas/032.gif[/IMG][/URL]

Puppydawg 11 years ago

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/549894/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/549894-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL][B][color=black]

A young girl sits down on a park bench next to an old man. The girl pulls out a bag of chocolate bars and quickly eats one, and then starts eating on another.

The man sitting next to her looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you."

The girl responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105-years old."

"And he ate that much chocolate?" asks the man.

"No," says the girl, "he was nice and minded his own business!"[/color][/B][color=red][I]

No days are as special as today... unless you are a Barber... Have a nice life![/I][/color]

Puppydawg 11 years ago

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/2KDHUuG.jpg[/IMG]

Puppydawg 11 years ago

[URL=http://architecture.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/135361/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/135361-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black][U]Grandma's Thanksgiving ​Invitation[/U]

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00.
NOT 2:15
NOT 2:05
Two 2:00

Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Franklin fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jake, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have decided that 47 percent of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups will have names printed on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Joy, last year we were at Elaine's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy, look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I won't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Vivian, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: when I say, "You don't need to bring anything," means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Dominos and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

In memory of your grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love you,
Grandma[/color][/B]

Puppydawg 11 years ago

[B][color=brown][U]TWO NUNS[/U]


There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).


It is getting dark and they are still far away from The convent.


SM: "Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants?"


SL: "It's logical, he wants to rape us."


SM: "Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?"


SL: "The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster."


SM: "It's not working."


SL: "Of course, it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too."


SM: "So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute."


SL: "The only logical thing we can do is split up. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both."


So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.


Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.


Then Sister Logical arrives.


SM: "Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened?"


SL: "The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me."


SM: "Yes, yes! But what happened then?"


SL: "The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could."


SM: "And?"


SL: "The only logical thing happened. He reached me."


SM: "Oh, dear! What did you do?"


SL: "The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up."


SM: "Oh, Sister! What did the man do?"


SL: "The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants."


SM: "Oh, no! What happened then?"


SL: "Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down."


And for those of you who thought it would be a dirty joke?
I'll say a prayer for you![/color] [/B] :D

Puppydawg 11 years ago

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1821147/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1821147-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL][B][color=black]

From "CollieSmile," (Elaine) to you, her dear friend, as a request to help her at this desperate time. Details of her plight are in the details of this wallpaper. Please help, whatever prayers you can do for Elaine's family during this time is appreciated.
Thank you.[/color][/B]