possumsquasher - My Desktop Nexus

possumsquasher

Profile Wallpapers (0)Favorites (2)Journal (0)Discussion Contact Member

Member Information

Full Name:	earl bodine
Location:	mudlick
Occupation:	undercuver walmart sekuritie
Education:	sum

Last Login:	9/20/13
Join Date:	9/24/12
Profile Views:	3,027

Personal Information

Interests:	Fishin, huntin, designin camofloge rain soots

Favorite Music:	Banjo, warshbord, juiseharp

Favorite Books:	Any if we runned out a torlet paper

Favorite Quotes:	Yee Haw

possumsquasher is a fan of...

View All 2 Members >>View All 2 Members >>

Fans of possumsquasher

View All 1 Members >>View All 1 Members >>

Profile Comments

Please join for free or login to post comments.

Posted by CollieSmile 12/31/16 at 11:29pm

Father Time & I are dropping by to see you & say goodbye to

Let's say hello to 2017 instead!

Yahooooooo! It's a brand new year! Be sure to party and celebrate it to the max!

Best warm wishes for you in the New Year. I'm looking forward to more Collies, more Cows, more Wonderful Wallpapers, more Smiles, more Kindness, and more FUN on DN with you!

Love & Hugs,

Elaine

Posted by Puppydawg 4/9/16 at 6:17pm

Jenny, a blonde girl, came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" Jenny asked.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," she answered.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good, Jenny," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day, Jenny came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"

And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Oh, uh, very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24-years old."

Posted by Puppydawg 2/4/16 at 1:58pm

Enjoy the video, sunlight, and hugs!

https://youtu.be/aDIN26yxbnw

Posted by Puppydawg 7/19/15 at 9:04am

Posted by Puppydawg 12/21/14 at 9:27pm

Posted by Puppydawg 12/14/14 at 11:10am

A young girl sits down on a park bench next to an old man. The girl pulls out a bag of chocolate bars and quickly eats one, and then starts eating on another.

The man sitting next to her looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you."

The girl responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105-years old."

"And he ate that much chocolate?" asks the man.

"No," says the girl, "he was nice and minded his own business!"

No days are as special as today... unless you are a Barber... Have a nice life!

Posted by Puppydawg 11/19/14 at 7:12pm

Posted by Puppydawg 11/11/14 at 12:14am

Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00.
NOT 2:15
NOT 2:05
Two 2:00

Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Franklin fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jake, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have decided that 47 percent of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups will have names printed on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Joy, last year we were at Elaine's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy, look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I won't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Vivian, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: when I say, "You don't need to bring anything," means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Dominos and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

In memory of your grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love you,
Grandma

Posted by Puppydawg 9/23/14 at 12:38am

TWO NUNS
  There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
  It is getting dark and they are still far away from The convent.
  SM: "Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants?"
  SL: "It's logical, he wants to rape us."
  SM: "Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?"
  SL: "The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster."
  SM: "It's not working."
  SL: "Of course, it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too."
  SM: "So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute."
  SL: "The only logical thing we can do is split up. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both."
  So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
  Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
  Then Sister Logical arrives.
  SM: "Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened?"
  SL: "The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me."
  SM: "Yes, yes! But what happened then?"
  SL: "The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could."
  SM: "And?"
  SL: "The only logical thing happened. He reached me."
  SM: "Oh, dear! What did you do?"
  SL: "The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up."
  SM: "Oh, Sister! What did the man do?"
  SL: "The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants."
  SM: "Oh, no! What happened then?"
  SL: "Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down."
  And for those of you who thought it would be a dirty joke?
I'll say a prayer for you!

Posted by Puppydawg 8/26/14 at 2:11am

From "CollieSmile," (Elaine) to you, her dear friend, as a request to help her at this desperate time. Details of her plight are in the details of this wallpaper. Please help, whatever prayers you can do for Elaine's family during this time is appreciated.
Thank you.

Posted by Puppydawg 8/25/14 at 2:06am

"June? Do you see that elderly couple over at that other table?"

"Yeah. What about them, Charles?"

"I was just thinking.... We might look like them in about 10-years or so..."

June turned toward her husband, "You do realize that is a mirror over there, don't you?"

SHARE YOUR SMILES & WHAT YOU RECEIVE WILL FILL YOUR HEART!

Posted by Puppydawg 8/21/14 at 5:52am

Posted by Puppydawg 7/25/14 at 11:14am

A good ole boy won a Bass boat in a raffle drawing.

He took it home and his wife looked at him and said, "What are you going to do with that? There isn't any water deep enough to float a boat, within 100 miles of here."

He said, "I won it, and I'm a going to keep it."

His brother came over to visit, several days later. He saw the
wife and asked where his brother was?

Pointing to the field behind the house, she said, "He's out there, in his new Bass boat!"

The brother headed out behind the house, and saw his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand, down in the middle of a big field.

He yelled out to him, "What are you doing?"

His brother yelled back, "I'm fishing. What does it look
like I'm a doing?"

His brother yelled, "It's people like you that give us
people from down here a bad name. Making everybody
think we is stupid.
If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you what for!"

Posted by Puppydawg 6/25/14 at 5:52pm

FOUND: Rainbow's end.

Island Doughnuts.

Cell-Phone Towers as Cacti in AZ.

The $1-penny.

Angel cloud?

Gold quarter?

Posted by Puppydawg 6/20/14 at 11:08pm

THE OUTHOUSE POEM -1932

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"

Posted by Puppydawg 6/19/14 at 5:10pm

If I was walking across ice and saw this... the inside of my clothes would resemble this ink color.

Posted by Puppydawg 6/16/14 at 12:55am

http://youtu.be/eLeBOMzIiVM
This makes me feel glad to be sitting at home 80% of the time!

Posted by Puppydawg 6/14/14 at 6:13am

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, EARL BODINE!

Posted by Puppydawg 6/12/14 at 6:18pm

WHAT YOU SEE........ & ......... WHAT THEY SEE!

Posted by Puppydawg 6/11/14 at 6:40pm

Cool Armor!
But I bet it's hard to walk (or get up from the ground) wearing it! Could you imagine bathroom duties?

Show More >>Show More >>

Recently Uploaded Wallpapers

possumsquasher has not uploaded any wallpapers yet.

Recently Favorited Wallpapers

OpossumUploaded by: dddddddh
Date Uploaded: 7/7/12
Resolution: 1024x768

Downloads: 297
Comments: 0
Favorited: 1
Points: +4

OpossumUploaded by: dddddddh
Date Uploaded: 7/7/12
Resolution: 1024x768

Downloads: 244
Comments: 1
Favorited: 3
Points: +3

Member Groups

This member hasn't joined any groups yet!

Recent Activity

possumsquasher has become a fan of betseybutler.

2/24/13 at 6:44am

possumsquasher has become a fan of eddie2feathers.

2/21/13 at 6:13am

possumsquasher has commented on the profile of possumsquasher:

Thankin ya fer the longgrass photygraph, looks jest like my front yardmy 4 boys liked to watch ther mama cut the grass but cant no mo cuz she up and left 3 weeks ago and took hur lawnmoer and her boat, i miss that boat, do ya have a boat, dont know why she up and left, didnt ask nuthin speshul jest cook fer the 4 boys and 2 bruthurs that stay here and to feed the hogs and do the laundry, i even got her new warshboard but i luv chilren, i want 12 more, ifn ya come down ro visit i will fix the hole in the ruuf of the trailur, gottagoes now natures callin and no ones in the outhouse

9/25/12 at 3:51pm

possumsquasher has commented on the profile of possumsquasher:

My brother Derrill and my other brother Derrill says this isa sochal site and i culd get me sum reel goodin wallpaper cuz im a doin my inside walls in my trailer, i aint seen a one peson yet, i think Derrill and Derrill wad a funnin with me, thays gonna git a good ass whoopin from me

9/25/12 at 5:49am

possumsquasher favorited wallpaper #1105952

Title: Opossum
Category: > Rodents
Description: None

9/24/12 at 10:07pm

possumsquasher favorited wallpaper #1105950

Title: Opossum
Category: > Rodents
Description: None

9/24/12 at 10:07pm

Recently Spotted Members

No members found. Be the first!

Desktop Nexus

Tags of the Moment

Recently Active Groups