Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://cars.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1746468/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1746/1746468-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black][I]A man dies, and his wife takes him to the Funeral Home and he's wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"

To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, "There's no charge."

"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit," she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."

"So, I just switched the heads."[/I]
[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://nature.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/560429/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/560/560429-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black]Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad, the latest album's gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it's pretty good. By the way, how's the golf?"

Nicklaus replies, "Not too bad. I m not winning as much as I used to, but I'm still making a bit of money. I had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that worked out now."

"I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be all right," says Stevie.

"You play golf!?" asks Jack.

Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years."

"But I... you're blind! How can you play golf if you are blind?" Jack asks.

"I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands the caddie moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice," explains Stevie.

"But how do you putt?" Nicklaus wondered.

"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball to the sound of his voice."

Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?"

"I play off scratch," Stevie assures Jack.

Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole."

Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?"

"I don't care - any night next week is OK with me."[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://people.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1468947/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1468/1468947-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black]Jason has just come home from a long day at his Photographic Studio. His wife, Becky, meets him at the front door, and kisses him on the cheek.

Becky says, [I]”Did you bring home the snapshots like I
asked? You probably didn't! You never listen to me! You never remember anything! Oh! You did get them. Well,
thank goodness for miracles. Let me see them! This shot
is terrible and this one is even worse. Oh, my God! This
one is horrible and this one is a disaster. In fact, this is
the worst lot of photographs I have ever seen in my life!
You can’t do anything right! You can’t drive a car properly! You can’t even change a fuse.
You can’t sing in tune, and as a photographer, you are the worst! Just take a look at these pictures: in every one of these, I have my mouth open!”[/I]
[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://architecture.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/704240/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/704/704240-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black][I]The preacher's Sunday sermon was 'Forgive Your Enemies.'

He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 % held up their hands.

He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly lady.

"Mrs. Johnson, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any."

"Mrs. Johnson that's very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three," she replied.

"Mrs. Johnson, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?"

The little old lady tottered down the aisle and when she got to the podium and spoke into the microphone, she said, "I've outlived every one of those nosey hags!" [/I]
[/color]
[/B]
[url=http://www.myniceprofile.com/religious-13512.html][img]http://i.myniceprofile.com/135/13512.gif[/img][/url]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B][color=green][I]Hello Ila!
How's your weather today?

[url=http://www.myniceprofile.com/wednesday-152169.html][img]http://i.myniceprofile.com/1521/152169.jpg[/img][/url]

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/2028940/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/2028/2028940-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[url=http://www.myniceprofile.com/good-day-169446.html][img]http://i.myniceprofile.com/1694/169446.gif[/img][/url]

We are having Autumn weather; cool nights and mornings with warmer days.
I'm wishing that you receive all that you may desire![/I]
[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/2026059/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/2026/2026059-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL][B][color=teal][I]
............................TODAY IS A GOOD DAY........................[/I]
[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B]Have you seen this?
Taco Bell fires a male employee after this photo was viewed online, about a store in Ohio, USA.
The employee was fired and the entire store employees were re-trained on how to conduct themselves concerning cleanliness, and preparing clean food. The State Board of Health inspected the store.[/B]

[img]http://media.graytvinc.com/images/353*353/Taco-Bell-employee-fired.jpg[/img]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://entertainment.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1461663/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1461/1461663-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black]A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time.

When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and... there’s no punch line.[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B][color=black]What can you never eat for breakfast?
[img]https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/12046638_10153839326655934_2281313503046749365_n.jpg?oh=60bc3980c0ca47a47ec5e73c5136bfd3&oe=56A71CAF[/img]
......................Lunch and Dinner.............................. [/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://animals.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1750072/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1750/1750072-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/if-friendship-is-your-weakest-point-then-you-are-the-strongest-person-in-the-world/][img]http://www.commentsyard.com/cy/01/8754_thumbnail.jpg[/img][/url]
[URL=http://animals.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1126183/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1126/1126183-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[img]https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfl1/v/t1.0-9/12038197_554517621370815_3742546994607347118_n.jpg?oh=1c858ecf5da2d8bec61599ac7c888f7f&oe=56639F99[/img]
[URL=http://animals.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1704254/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1704/1704254-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]