Hi everyone! We're hard at work trying to keep our community clean, so if you see any spam, please report it here and we'll review ASAP!  Thanks a million!
8,819 Users Online
  • 640,129,772 Downloads
  • 1,696,349 Wallpapers
  • 1,565,068 Members
  • 12,971,712 Votes
  • 5,965,287 Favorites
not1knowsme
not1knowsme
Login to Become a Fan
 
ProfileWallpapers (0)Favorites (45)Journal (0)DiscussionContact Member
Member Information
Full Name:Ila Turner
Last Login:10/30/21
Join Date:9/29/13
Profile Views:2,810
Personal Information
not1knowsme has not filled out any personal information.
not1knowsme is a fan of...
Fans of not1knowsme
No other members have become a fan of not1knowsme yet.
Profile Comments
Please join for free or login to post comments.
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/15/15 at 9:55pm


A man dies, and his wife takes him to the Funeral Home and he's wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"

To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, "There's no charge."

"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit," she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."

"So, I just switched the heads."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/14/15 at 8:27pm


Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad, the latest album's gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it's pretty good. By the way, how's the golf?"

Nicklaus replies, "Not too bad. I m not winning as much as I used to, but I'm still making a bit of money. I had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that worked out now."

"I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be all right," says Stevie.

"You play golf!?" asks Jack.

Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years."

"But I... you're blind! How can you play golf if you are blind?" Jack asks.

"I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands the caddie moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice," explains Stevie.

"But how do you putt?" Nicklaus wondered.

"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball to the sound of his voice."

Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?"

"I play off scratch," Stevie assures Jack.

Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole."

Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?"

"I don't care - any night next week is OK with me."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/10/15 at 5:53pm


Jason has just come home from a long day at his Photographic Studio. His wife, Becky, meets him at the front door, and kisses him on the cheek.

Becky says, ”Did you bring home the snapshots like I
asked? You probably didn't! You never listen to me! You never remember anything! Oh! You did get them. Well,
thank goodness for miracles. Let me see them! This shot
is terrible and this one is even worse. Oh, my God! This
one is horrible and this one is a disaster. In fact, this is
the worst lot of photographs I have ever seen in my life!
You can’t do anything right! You can’t drive a car properly! You can’t even change a fuse.
You can’t sing in tune, and as a photographer, you are the worst! Just take a look at these pictures: in every one of these, I have my mouth open!”


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/10/15 at 8:06am


The preacher's Sunday sermon was 'Forgive Your Enemies.'

He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 % held up their hands.

He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly lady.

"Mrs. Johnson, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any."

"Mrs. Johnson that's very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three," she replied.

"Mrs. Johnson, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?"

The little old lady tottered down the aisle and when she got to the podium and spoke into the microphone, she said, "I've outlived every one of those nosey hags!"



PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/7/15 at 6:35pm
Hello Ila!
How's your weather today?







We are having Autumn weather; cool nights and mornings with warmer days.
I'm wishing that you receive all that you may desire!


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/3/15 at 4:16pm

............................TODAY IS A GOOD DAY........................


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/29/15 at 4:38am
Have you seen this?
Taco Bell fires a male employee after this photo was viewed online, about a store in Ohio, USA.
The employee was fired and the entire store employees were re-trained on how to conduct themselves concerning cleanliness, and preparing clean food. The State Board of Health inspected the store.


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/26/15 at 9:50pm


A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time.

When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and... there’s no punch line.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/25/15 at 10:27am
What can you never eat for breakfast?

......................Lunch and Dinner..............................

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/21/15 at 8:59am




PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/17/15 at 11:21am


A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below.

"Hey, Buddy! Do you see my ear down there?"

The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?"

"No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/13/15 at 8:22am




https://youtu.be/Z6-lUzi3E1g



WHAT IS THIS CAT TRYING TO SAY, ILA?


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/12/15 at 8:39am
Your actions today may enlighten someone's otherwise dull life - forever!
AND SMILE, ILA!
Enjoy your life, because (unlike a cat) we only get one chance!




https://youtu.be/2qSLvkskXFA



PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/11/15 at 11:58am


An Army Captain's become a Company Commander. He is in his new office, unpacking his stuff and setting things up, there is a knock on the door. The new Captain wants to impress his new soldiers, so he sits down, picks up the phone, and says, "Come in."

A private enters the room, the Captain holds up his finger and starts talking, "Ok General, thanks for the invitation to dinner at your house. I'm excited to be here and thanks again for hand picking me to Command this unit. See you Friday night. Bye."

He hangs up and looks at the private and says, "Hey there, what can I do for you?"

The private says "Good morning Sir, I'm just here to hook up your phone."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/10/15 at 9:02am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/10/15 at 6:22am
Having more fun after Ila broke the brakes!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/7/15 at 8:14pm


I'm feeling hungry, Ila. I'll be back after I've had lunch!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/5/15 at 10:40am


https://youtu.be/sqyiYd4iCYY

Kick-off your shoes, get comfortable, and relax, Ila! It's the week-end!


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/4/15 at 10:14am


HAVE AN EXCITING FRIDAY & PEACEFUL WEEK-END!
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/2/15 at 8:49am


A Mother visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son spoke, “I know what you're thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
“Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." He sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, your son.

Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and
I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow.

Love, Mom

Show More >>Show More >>
Recently Uploaded Wallpapers

not1knowsme has not uploaded any wallpapers yet.

Recently Favorited Wallpapers
Backporch Quilting Bee
Backporch Quilting Bee Uploaded by: wallpapercreator
Date Uploaded: 2/16/16
Resolution: 1920x1430
Downloads: 70
Comments: 1
Favorited: 4
Points: +4
Quilting Around Chautauqua
Quilting Around ChautauquaUploaded by: wollo
Date Uploaded: 2/26/16
Resolution: 1042x768
Downloads: 147
Comments: 0
Favorited: 8
Points: +20
Something New
Something NewUploaded by: CanDew
Date Uploaded: 12/21/17
Resolution: 1920x1080
Downloads: 6
Comments: 0
Favorited: 1
Points: +2
Window in Autumn
Window in AutumnUploaded by: SuperLoveNaNa
Date Uploaded: 10/12/14
Resolution: 1680x1340
Downloads: 393
Comments: 10
Favorited: 16
Points: +22
john cleese wisdom
john cleese wisdomUploaded by: indian
Date Uploaded: 2/26/14
Resolution: 1600x900
Downloads: 225
Comments: 0
Favorited: 1
Points: +3
believe
believeUploaded by: indian
Date Uploaded: 2/26/14
Resolution: 1920x1080
Downloads: 347
Comments: 0
Favorited: 2
Points: 0
Member Groups Help
Recent Activity
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #2082900
Title: Backporch Quilting Bee
Category: > Other
Description: None
1/29/19 at 2:08am
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #2087479
Title: Quilting Around Chautauqua
Category: > Other
Description: None
1/29/19 at 2:07am
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #2338403
Title: Something New
Category: > Other
Description: Text-
When young-you learn something new
every day.
When old- you forget something new
every day.
1/29/19 at 2:07am
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1858346
Title: Window in Autumn
Category: > Other
Description: None
1/29/19 at 1:47am
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1692474
Title: john cleese wisdom
Category: > Actors
Description: None
12/24/18 at 8:02pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1692495
Title: believe
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 8:01pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1692499
Title: birds wisdom
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 8:01pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1692511
Title: mohammed ali words
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 8:01pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1692564
Title: wisdom
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 8:00pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1692576
Title: wolf wisdom
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 8:00pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1692580
Title: native american wisdom
Category: > Political
Description: The wonderful world of wolves part1 and part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdlhcANpf38&feature=youtu.be

not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1693854
Title: wise words
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 7:59pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1693857
Title: words
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 7:59pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1693921
Title: quote
Category: > Textures
Description: None
12/24/18 at 7:59pm
not1knowsme favorited wallpaper #1693919
Title: cat wisdom
Category: > Cats
Description: None
12/24/18 at 7:58pm
Show More >>Show More >>
Recently Spotted Members

No members found. Be the first!