watchreplicaworld 10 months ago

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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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[color=black]A woman calls her blond neighbor and says, [I]"The next time you and your wife are making love, you should close your curtains. The whole neighborhood was watching both of you, yesterday, and laughing!"[/I]

The blond man replied, [I]"Well! The joke's on you, because I wasn't even at home, [U]yesterday!"[/U][/I]
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gubicii 9 years ago

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gubicii 9 years ago

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Yaty03 9 years ago

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Puppydawg 9 years ago

[color=green][I]I was sick for a few days, but better, now.[/I][/color]

[B][color=black]Little Sam was failing in math. His parents tried everything.

Tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers, but nothing helped. As a last resort, someone told them to try the Catholic School.

"Those nuns are tough," they said.

Sam was soon enrolled at St. Mary's. After school on the very first day Sam ran through the door and straight to his room, without even kissing his mother hello. He started studying furiously, books and papers spread all over his room.

Right after dinner, he ran upstairs without mentioning TV and hit the books harder than before. His parents were amazed. This behavior continued for weeks, until report card day arrived.

Sam quietly laid the envelope on the table and went to his room. With great trepidation, his mother opened the report. Sam has gotten an 'A' in math!

She ran up to his room, threw her arms around him and asked, "Sam, how did this happen? Was it the nuns?"

"No," said Sam. "On the first day of school, when I saw that man nailed to the plus sign, I knew those nuns weren't fooling around."
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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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[B][color=black]While drinking at a bar one night a guy is approached by a beautiful woman who starts flirting with him. They talk for a while, have a few drinks, and at the end of the night the girl invites him back to her apartment. They get to the apartment and immediately begin to have passionate wrestling match.

When they are through the girl gets up to get a drink of water and the guy pulls out a cigarette.

"Do you happen to have a lighter?" He asks.

"Check the bedside table."

The man opens the drawer and finds a picture of a scary looking marine staring back at him.

"Oh carp! Is this your husband?"

[I]"No, that was me, before the operation."[/I]
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gubicii 10 years ago

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gubicii 10 years ago

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Puppydawg 10 years ago

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A drunk is driving through the city on his motorcycle. He is weaving all over the road.

Eventually, a cop pulls him over.

"Did you know," says the cop, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell off of your cycle?"

"Oh, thank God," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."[/I]
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