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FenderJazz
FenderJazz
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Last Login:Today
Join Date:10/3/10
Profile Views:31,261
Personal Information
My Website:axis-jimihendrixtribute.com
About Me:Rock'n'Roll Bass Guitar Player
Interests:Music, Digital Art, My 2 Beautiful Cats, All Things Bass Guitar, Tattoos, History, Vampires, The Historical Jesus, Guns....
Favorite Music:Rock, Jazz, Space, Dub, Ambient, Fusion, Progressive...Anything with a SOLID PULSE...
Favorite Books:The Jesus Papers, The Great Divorce, The Real Frank Zappa Book, Hellraiser, A Briefer History Of Time, Life, The Jesus Dynasty, Jack Bruce Composing Himself'...
Favorite Movies:Tom Dowd "The Language Of Music"...and too many others to list...
Favorite TV Shows:American Horror Story, Bates Motel, United States of Tara, Breaking Bad....
Favorite Quotes:"Reality Is But A Shared Illusion"

"If you want to become a GREAT Jazz Musician, FIRST you have to strive to become a GREAT Human Being"
-CHARLIE HADEN-
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   6 Hours Ago


So, Hillary Clinton is elected as the US President and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington.

She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.

She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln.

She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   8 Hours Ago
Alexandra66Posted by Alexandra66   11 Hours Ago
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   Yesterday at 5:20pm
Well, I lost another fan/friend this week;
"jimmyjohnz." Did you know him, too?




A red-haired woman goes to the Pharmacy in her neighborhood, and says to the pharmacist, "I'd like a poison that will kill my husband, but make it look like he died of natural causes."

The pharmacist says, "Ma'am, not only can I not do that for you, I'm going to call the police and report you."

As he grabs the phone, the woman takes out a piece of paper from her pocket and hands it to him. It's a picture of her husband having sex with the Pharmacist's wife.

"Oh," he says, "you should have told me you had a prescription."

https://youtu.be/J7MoWPTeYS4

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   Yesterday at 7:15am


As told to me by a German friend

In WWI, during the trench warfare's, neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand. They were reaching a stalemate. Until one day, an American came up with a plan that would win them the war. This private explains his plan to his trench mates, and they figured 'why not?' its not like they have any better ideas.

The next day, an American soldier calls out, "Hans!?"

A German pops his head-up and shouts back, "Yaw?!"

BOOM Goes an American sniper, and the German soldier is shot dead.

The next day, another shout from the Americans, "Hans?!"

"Yaw?!" - BOOM He's shot dead.

This process continues over the next couple of days. The Germans are losing large numbers, and they are slowly finally catching on. The Germans have an emergency meeting, and maybe, if it works, they can come back from the heavy losses using the same tactics as the Americans.

So, a German asks, "What's a popular American name?"

"John," replied another. The next day, the Germans decided to execute their plan.

At sun-up, a German soldier shouts, "John!?"

An American calls back, "Is that you Hans?!"

"Yaw!" he jumps-up... BOOM!

And that's how the Americans won WWI.


Alexandra66Posted by Alexandra66   2/12/16 at 12:02pm
Dear Nick,

JamaunziePosted by Jamaunzie   2/11/16 at 5:17pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/11/16 at 9:36am
I was invited to a costume party, last week. I had dressed as a chicken, and I met this pretty woman who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and... a lifelong question was answered, Nick.
It was the chicken.
gubiciiPosted by gubicii   2/10/16 at 6:18pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/10/16 at 2:32pm


As a truck driver stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.

As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window.

Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car.

He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is Devon! Okay?
It's winter-time in New York! Yes?
And I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"



entcoffPosted by entcoff   2/9/16 at 8:51am
Alexandra66Posted by Alexandra66   2/8/16 at 5:35pm
Wishing you a happy week, dear friend!

JamaunziePosted by Jamaunzie   2/8/16 at 1:54pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/7/16 at 12:45pm
!!!!! GREENFROGGY'S PC IS SICK AT THIS TIME !!!!!



!!!!! DI WILL RETURN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE !!!!!
Alexandra66Posted by Alexandra66   2/5/16 at 3:22pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/4/16 at 12:08am


A man named Sam is doing an interview for a new job.

The CEO asks, "Sam, have you ever been in any wars?"

Sam says, "Yes, I was in Iraq."

The CEO asks, "Were you injured in any way?"

Sam replies, "Yeah, I was actually near the site of an explosion, and the shrapnel hit me in the groin. I lost both of my testicles."

The CEO says, "Oh wow! That's really awful! Do you have any allergies we should know about?"

Sam says, "Why, yes, actually, I'm allergic to caffeine."

"Well", the CEO said, "We'd like to hire you! Our normal business hours are 8-4, but you can come work 10-4, and still get paid for 8-hours."

"If you don't mind me asking, why 10-4 instead of 8-4, like the others?"

"Well," the CEO replies, "We generally stand around shooting-the-bull, drinking coffee, and scratch... ourselves the first 2-hours."

Alexandra66Posted by Alexandra66   2/3/16 at 11:56am

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/3/16 at 9:02am


A man goes to his church to confess.

Man: "Father, I have sinned."

Priest: "And how have you sinned?"

Man: "I have stolen someone's bicycle, and am now here to give it to you."

Priest: "No, no - don't give it to me; return it to the person you have stolen it from and you shall be forgiven."

Man: "I did that, but he said he didn't want it."

Priest: "In that case, you may keep the bicycle for yourself."

The man leaves.

After the day is over, the priest goes out of the church to find his bicycle is missing.

Alexandra66Posted by Alexandra66   2/1/16 at 7:41pm
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