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Full Name:adam gardner
Last Login:4/13/14
Join Date:5/2/10
Profile Views:9,047
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/13/14 at 2:53am

1. Pull pin...
2. Throw grenade far....
3. Duck & cover....
4. Gather fish.......

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/12/14 at 4:59pm
Anti-Theft Device: Are they going too far to protect your car and valuables?
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/11/14 at 5:53pm
The fork-lift vs dead fish-parts

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/11/14 at 5:40pm
Cheap thrills; look what the did... just don't get sick...

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/10/14 at 4:50pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/6/14 at 11:25pm
Have you ever looked at the head on your brew, or root beer, Adam? I bet it never looked like this: a skull caught in a spider web... can you see it?
Have a great day!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/3/14 at 5:32am
Bob told his friend, "My wife caught a Peeping Tom last night. She broke his arm, and she'd have killed him if we hadn't stopped her."

"Really? He must've made her very angry, peeking-in at her, huh?" asked his friend.

"No," said Bob. "That's not what made her the maddest."

"It's not?"

"No," said Bob. "She got mad when he reached in the window and tried to close the curtains."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/26/14 at 9:41pm
Joe and Bill are best friends, and they always have a few beers after work, before going their separate ways to go home. They are sitting at the bar, and for some reason Joe is being really quiet. Bill keeps asking Joe what's wrong(?), but Joe just shakes his head and refuses to talk.

Four beers later Bill says, "After I drink this, I'm going home."

Joe speaks, staring at some point beyond the back wall, "Okay! It's your wife!"

"What?" asked Bill. "My wife? What's she got to do with this?"

"Bill?" says Joe, "I think your wife is cheating on us!"
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/16/14 at 6:42am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/9/14 at 11:40pm
Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car.
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/3/14 at 1:13pm
Hello Adam!
If this doesn't make you feel GLAD that you don't
drive in Russia, something's wrong with you!


Happy Monday!
-Roger :D
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/1/14 at 7:11pm
With only seconds to play; full-court toss...
Orchid4Posted by Orchid4   1/27/14 at 1:58am

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/26/14 at 1:38am

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.
I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family, and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year. You can do your bit by trying to share this information to one unstable person. My job is done!

Life is too short for negative drama and petty things.

So laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly! Well that forgiveness part is up to you!!!

From one unstable person to another... I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty well in mine.
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/22/14 at 4:28pm

An elderly couple go to church one Sunday.
Halfway through the service, the wife leans over and whispers in her husbands ear,

"I've just let out a silent poot. What do you think I should do?"

The husband replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/19/14 at 12:49pm

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/16/14 at 10:09pm

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'Racism' these days.

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or, if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or, if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or, if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or, if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/13/14 at 9:50pm
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God, with no actual address.
He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope...
Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched.
He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those nosey bastoids at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/10/14 at 10:52am
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