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A blonde called her boyfriend on the phone and said, "Please come over here and help me… I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?"

The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger."

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.

She let him in, and then showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He took her hand and said, "Second, I’d want you to relax… Let’s have a nice cup of hot chocolate, and then," and he sighed, "let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

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Jason has just come home from a long day at his Photographic Studio. His wife, Becky, meets him at the front door, and kisses him on the cheek.

Becky says, ”Did you bring home the snapshots like I
asked? You probably didn't! You never listen to me! You never remember anything! Oh! You did get them. Well,
thank goodness for miracles. Let me see them! This shot
is terrible and this one is even worse. Oh, my God! This
one is horrible and this one is a disaster. In fact, this is
the worst lot of photographs I have ever seen in my life!
You can’t do anything right! You can’t drive a car properly! You can’t even change a fuse. You can’t sing in tune, and
as a photographer, you are the worst! Just take a look at these pictures: in every one you took, I have my mouth open!”

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A woman gives birth to twins then falls into a coma. When she wakes up, she realizes that she has yet to name her children.

Her Doctor explains, "Oh, don't worry about that miss. Your brother was here while you were unconscious, and he named your children."

The new mother says, "What!? My brother is a complete idiot! Oh God, what did he name my daughter?"

The doctor says, "Denise."

Young mother says, "Oh, I guess that's not too bad. What a relief. And what did he name my son?"

Doctor, "Daneffew."

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A friend of mine was asking how I managed to get a black eye? And I was trying to explain about seeing these two large women in the bar, last night...

They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey are you two ladies from Australia?"

One of them screamed back at me, "It's Wales you stupid IDIOT!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Australia?"

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[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1899492/][/URL]

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[url=http://www.dreamies.de][/url]

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1821721/][/URL]
HELLO HELLO

Thank you for the add,My NEW friend,I'm honoured!

Today, the 23rd of July, is a day of mourning in my country, The Netherlands, for the 298 killed in the crash on the 17th of July. 193 of whom were Dutch...
Innocent men, women and children on their way to their homes, jobs, holiday destinations, loved ones…
The plane crashed in a rebel-held area in the Ukraine, after apparently being hit by a rocket...
The first bodies recovered from the Malaysia Airlines plane are, finally, to be flown to the Netherlands this afternoon for identification.
The operation to find the remaining bodies and secure crucial evidence continues….

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Hello
I am just dropping in to say hi-hope that all is well with you
take care
ellen

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