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Journal for amypinkglass_2 Journal for amypinkglass_2
Oct
18
Happy
THE TRUE STATE OF MY HEART RIGHT NOW
[color=purple][b]*



SUMMARY OF MY PRESENT LOVELIFE AND THE CURRENT STATE OF MY HEART:



Like I*ve said above, it*s NOT "first you will and then you won*t"...I*m not wishy-washy about the major decisions in my life (being wishy-washy is for wimps) (of course, as a woman I reserve the right to be fickle in MINOR things...like I think I want this flavour (ice cream) then 5 seconds later I would change my mind - I repeat- this is NOT SO in the big matters in my life.)

[I mean, if I knew for a fact that I could still solve our problems, then I would*ve worked for a reconciliation really hard. (There would be no final-sounding declaration that I think it*s really over, but as many have seen, I WENT AHEAD with the declaration anyway!)]


Anyway...here*s the REAL shape of my heart:

It*s more like..."I have a jumble of feelings because I*m hurting from the break-up (naturally!) and I still have feelings for him (you can*t just shut love off like water from the tap, even if you wanted to)...yet I*m SURE I want to remain his ex."[/b][/color]
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UPDATES (various, from the front page) 1. Got some new posts on the Journal hereNO, it*s NOT "first you will, then you won*t" as a despicable female deejay in the Philippines insinuated (FM/94.7...So the question now is...Who, among the workers mingling there, is that particularly ugly soul?? ...

Next Journal Entry

Harry DID react when I said something to the effect of "Maybe there*s been a gear shift in my feelings, maybe I love him less..." (in my post WHY IT*S FINAL) His reaction is typical of him, especially in what I*ve written of some of the mysterious issues in our relationship. (Like I couldn*t for the life of me understand WHY he*s focusing on one guy, and this person became the subject of our conflicts and near...