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Okay...after a day of rest (and sleeping too) I think I*m stronger...I can ACTUALLY comment on this thing! Let*s do it!
I know I said that the melody or tune of this song affecs me...it still does...I checked if it was available on YouTube but I couldn*t find it (Cheryl Ladd hits - Ladd played Angel Chris Munro in Charlie*s Angels, but she had a hit album as well)...I know many of you out there have copies of the song so you know how it sounds...it*s a slow song.
Explaining: "Sharing your life with someone else will do."
Basically, you never plan to fall in love. You cannot say that on such and such a day, you will meet someone who will rock your world.
It just happens. Before you know it, you have already fallen; so deep that you*re stuck with your motor running...in admiration of course.
The tricky part is discerning if this love is a dead-end...if he is already committed. Then again, why must I stop admiring him with all my soul if circumstances are less than ideal?
Perhaps all we can do is make guesses and say right here what those things are that we aren*t sure of. (And in particular, what I am not sure of.)
And SOMEONE said something to me that made me SURE he wasn*t married...the person that said this to me was his girlfriend! What, will she say she does not remember?? Of course she*ll say that, because she*ll lose a fight with him that way, meddling with my peaceful life. That made me think that she monitors each and every female friend he has, and will only allow such friendships if she is SURE the girl is ugly. Something like that I think...
We do not know if this girlfriend is the overly-jealous kind to the point of controlling his actions too much.(a bit of jealousy is normal but too much will make a relationship seem like a war camp)
We do not know for sure if she has access to his DN account (most girlfriends probably do, right? I wouldn*t know because I did not demand access to my boyfriend*s online accounts in the past...although I think he would have shared them with me if I asked) and if so, if she monitors his activities closely like a hawk, forbidding him from answering PM*s from girls (men only).
We don*t know for sure if she even gets mad at comments on his wallpapers, and if she happens to not like them, would ask him to delete the wallpaper itself sometimes.
We do not know if they already live together, and if she finds something she does not like in his PMs, or his wallpapers, we don*t know for sure if she withholds sex or gives him hell and such.
These are things we do not know for certain (even you cannot guess) but most especially, these are things that, as a person that cares about him, I do not know at all;
I think about these things because I think about him a LOT and would like to understand him.
A crush, as defined, is admiration from a distance. If it TURNED to LOVE, as in my case, then I still would not want to interfere, even with him close at hand.
The life My Crush lives depends on his choices and decisions, so I cannot interfere.
We cannot even reason that if someone is unhappy in a relationship, that he should leave it. Saying that to the person already means interference in the way he lives his life.
He once asked me if I was serious about loving him, as if it would affect his life.
The answer to that is YES, I am seriously in love with him.
I will continue to love him from a distance, perhaps never to be with him (because of the circumstances), and so I say "Sharing your life with someone else will do." I*m still here loving him, perhaps for a long, long time until events demand that I stop.
I leave him this song, and many other songs in the future, made by others (well, maybe one day I would be able to dedicate to him and perform my own compositions. Right now very many songs adequately express my feelings {they are my favorite songs besides, and could be his too} and are readily available for a listen!)
This is the very first song I am dedicating to him because of our stolen moments together...that is the only way I can describe what we did...as if we knew we must not be caught or something like that...I had no idea he had a girlfriend...no, no, there was no sex involved!! Just a sharing of our yearnings and some tender moments...you wouldn*t understand (how can there be no sex??) (there was no sex involved, I assure you!)
And if he turns out to be someone who does not care??
Then I guess the point of dedicating this song would be that I THOUGHT he cared, with his wild jealousy and all (I was thrilled that he was being transparent with his feelings that way)...It so happened that I did not want him to be depressed, and so I said, "Hey, Sexy, don*t you know that I am madly in love with you?? Seriously now. Stop moping around that way - I love you, you ultra-hot and sexy jealousy-prone romantic guy!!" mwahh!! *very, very quick light peck on his cheek (somewhat near his lips)*! |
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