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[Typing convention: Asterisks replace the apostrophe because apostrophes do not work in this journal.]
The song is about disappointment, as I*ve said. A lot has happened since I*ve posted this song, "Long Ago and Far Away"...
Well...I will continue to love him...or...I love him. (Same thing.) (At least to me, they*re the same.)
In the past I have said that perhaps I shouldn*t be dreaming the dreams and loving who I love...but I do...and I should...
I had wistfully said, with romantic sorrow, the following lines of plaintive longing (which I still feel today):
Yes, I*m a daydreamer...I dream of things I probably shouldn*t be dreaming of...but from the way he is, it seems like he enjoys all of my dreams for him and me.
I am also a lover...loving what I probably shouldn*t love at all...but though he*s free, I am so far away indeed...that we all know this is love of mine is not going to translate into a physical love but remain a spiritual one. Or will it?
Nevertheless I do yearn for his physical presence at times...I have trained myself not to yearn for it most of the time (or at ALL times) because that might lead me into a depression. So I remain quite cheerful, although I stop and stare into space occasionally...yes, I do that...upon realizing that I do long for his arms and his gentle touch.
I remembered this song when it dawned on me that the one you love does not have to be married for a relationship between the two of you to be quite impossible...there only has to be present a "HABIT of relationship" existing in someone, and we do know that habits are hard to get out of (like the smoking habit, although I disagree with TV and governments on their view of smoking...but we won*t discuss that here...just mentioning it).
But why do I continue to love him?? It*s because you cannot shut love off like you shut the tap or faucet. You cannot command your heart to instantly stop loving what it loves.
I do admit that I fell in love with him because he was oh-so-manly and sexy, and had the qualities I appreciate a lot (in a man), and he does these cool things so effortlessly...that my whole being was in a state of ecstatic agitation...So a very good friend of mine kidded with me (referring to the earlier days when I was alone feeling what I secretly felt ) saying that I was "feeling all this excitement from a computer screen alone!" I replied, "FYI, there*s a real human being behind that name and avatar on the computer screen...it wasn*t a just a robot that I was talking to!"
Of course, the situation is a bit DIFFERENT now...JUST A BIT...he and I are aware of some feelings we have...[but he isn*t totally mine (yet?), please don*t assume that.] Today, it*s not just looking at the computer screen wishing this guy knew what was going on with me, and hoping he felt the same way. Today, it*s running off together into some hidden places, sharing life*s dreams and loves.(Again, no, there was no sex involved, just precious moments!) When will I see you again?
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