[URL=//aircraft.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1145763/][/URL]

Of Airplanes & Women

1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly and a woman takes her time.

2. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

3. Airplanes don’t get mad if you do a “touch and go.”

4. Airplanes don’t object to a pre-flight inspection.

5. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

6. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

7. Airplanes can be flown any time.

8. Airplanes don’t come with in-laws.

9. Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplanes you’ve flown before.

10. Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

11. Airplanes don’t mind if you look at other airplanes.

12. Airplanes don’t mind if you buy airplane magazines.

13. Airplanes don’t comment on your piloting skills.

14. Airplanes don’t whine unless something is really wrong.

15. Airplanes do expect to be tied down.

However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it’s usually not very good.


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♥ Thank you for being my friend ♥

[URL=http://animals.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/754051/][/URL]

There was a lizard who was walking through the rainforest, he looked up in the tree and saw a koala smoking a cigar. So, the lizard goes up the tree and smokes a few cigars with the koala. After a while, the lizard decides to go down to the pond to get a drink for his dry mouth, so he scurries down the tree and over to the pond where there was a crocodile watching.

The crocodile says, "What are you doing drinking from my pond?"

"Well, I smoked a few cigars with this koala, and I have a really bad dry mouth," the lizard responded.

In shock, the crocodile says, "You don't say! I've never seen a cigar smoking koala. I have to see this!"

So the crocodile climbs out of the pond and walks over to the tree where the koala has smoked 4 or 5 more cigars since the lizard left.

The crocodile says, "Hey mate, what are you doing up there?"

The koala looks down in shock and says, "Bloody hell mate, how much water did you drink?"


[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/today-is-a-good-day-2/][/url]

Enjoy the video, sunlight, and hugs!

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4385/][/URL]


https://youtu.be/aDIN26yxbnw

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/][/URL]

Who says that men have no memory?

A couple were Christmas shopping at the mall, and the place was packed. As the wife walked through the mall, she was surprised to look up and see that her husband was nowhere around.

She was quite upset, because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone, just to ask him where he was?

In a quiet voice he said, "Honey, do you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago? Where you fell in love with that diamond necklace, the one that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you, one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He replied, "Well, I'm in the bar, right next door!"

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https://youtu.be/uT3SBzmDxGk

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Enjoy this Sunday with family and/or friends

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The children are our future...

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https://vimeo.com/107995891

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A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the back seat. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked on the glass.

The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.

"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"

The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."

"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.

"I'm nineteen," he replied.

"And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."


[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/happy-wednesday-graphic-2/][/url]

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1751279/][/URL]

A man owned a small ranch near Great Falls, Montana. The Montana Labor Department got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an investigator out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the investigator.

"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand, Joe, who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1200 a week, plus free room and board. And then there's the cook, Mary, she has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $1000 per week, plus free room and board.... Then there's the half-wit, Albert. He works about 18 hours every day, with no-days-off, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, and pays his own room and board. But, I buy him a bottle of bourbon, every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife, occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to, Albert, the half-wit!" says the investigator.

"You're talking to him," replied the rancher.

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A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the
business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you."
The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued.

"I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, had received a single seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some
of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim
didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing
the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot.
But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room.

When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful - in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back.

"My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the
next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified.

He thought, 'The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!'

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed, Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is "Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. And all of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. And Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my dead seed in it.

Therefore, Jim is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"


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