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Full Name:M. Howlingwolf Coates
Birthday:March 18th, 1962
Education:some college
Last Login:6/10/17
Join Date:6/29/13
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/2/15 at 4:20pm

Did you hear about John's mother(?) she was horrible at telling bad news -

I came home one day and found my mother looking very distressed.
She told me that she was having a bad day, felt really terrible, and that she'd been having an affair with our neighbor. And she also told me that I couldn't tell dad.

"Why not?" I asked.

She replied, "Because he's just passed away."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/16/15 at 7:27am
Children... Our future is in their hands!

Timmy was playing in the living room floor... When all of a sudden his mom comes from the kitchen and says, "Timmy, when your father comes home, please tell him to come to our bedroom immediately."

Although suspicious, he agrees.

Later, when his dad comes home, Timmy says, "Daddy! Daddy! Mom wants you to go to your room!"

The dad then goes upstairs to the master bedroom. Timmy is curious and quietly follows his father upstairs. When his father goes in, he locks the door. Timmy gets on his knees and looks through the keyhole and sees his mom standing naked in front of his dad.

She says, "John, I want a baby."

Timmy is shocked to realize that... after 9 months he has a baby sister in the house.

Timmy gives this some hard thinking, then goes to his mom and says, "Mommy! Mommy! When daddy comes home, tell him to go to my room, please?!"

She's surprised by his request, but says, "Yes" anyway.

Later, when his father comes home, his mom says, "John, Timmy wants you to go to his room."

John then goes to Timmy's room, where he sees his son standing naked. Timmy locks the door, looks his father dead in the eye, and says, "Daddy, I want a new bike."

CiTiBoYPosted by CiTiBoY   3/14/15 at 7:15am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/4/15 at 2:02am

LAVAJAVAPosted by LAVAJAVA   2/23/15 at 8:59am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/23/15 at 2:01am

A Native American Indian was hitch-hiking and was picked-up by a city-slicker who was driving past the reservation.

As they were driving along, the Indian noticed a brown paper bag in the seat between them, and inquired as to its contents.

The city man replied, "It's a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife."

The Indian looked forward at the road, nodded his head and solemnly said, "Good trade."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/14/15 at 6:44am
Have you seen this video? No, it's not music:

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/11/15 at 2:08am
Yeah, yeah, I got that! Sugar and spice, yes, but, ...

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/9/15 at 1:24am

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/6/15 at 3:22am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/6/15 at 1:37am


1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

2. You wear specific hats to tool sales, equipment auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.

3. You've ever had to wash off, in the backyard with a garden hose, before your wife would let you into the house.

4. You've never thrown away any 5-gallon bucket.

5. You can remember the square footage, pounds of nails required, crew labor rates and permit delays on a house you built 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife’s birthday.

6. You've used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.

7. You've driven off the road while checking out the new housing development in your neighborhood.

8. You've 'borrowed' gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.

9. You've ever buried a dog, and then cried like a baby.

10. You’ve used the same knife to exterminate vermin, and then peeled apples.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/4/15 at 11:02pm


Jake, the rancher, went one day
to fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty and
the clouds rolled gray and dense,

As he pounded the last nail in
and gathered tools to go.
The temperature had fallen
and the snow began to blow.

When he finally reached his pickup,
he felt a heavy heart,
from the sound of that ignition,
he knew it wouldn't start.

So Jake did what most of us do
if we'd have been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head
and sent aloft a prayer.

As he turned the key for the last time,
he softly cursed his luck.
They found him three days later,
frozen stiff in that old truck.

Now, Jake had been around in life
and done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven,
he was shocked... it look just like Wyoming.

Of all the saints in Heaven,
his favorite was St. Peter.
Now, this line, it ain't needed
but it helps with rhyme and meter.

So they set and talked a minute or two,
or maybe it was three,
Nobody was keepin' score --
in Heaven time is free.

"I've always heard," Jake said to Pete,
"that God will answer prayers,
But one time I asked for help,
well He, just plain wasn't there.

Does God answer prayers of some,
and ignores the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square --
I know all men are brothers.

Or does he randomly reply,
without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day,
the weather or the season.

Now, I ain't trying to act smart,
it's just the way I feel,
And I was wonderin', could you tell --
what the heck's the deal?"

Peter listened very patiently
and when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition,
and he said, "So, you're the one!

That day your truck, it wouldn't start,
and you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time,
with hundreds of us a trying.

A thousand angels rushed to check
the status of your file,
But you know, Jake, we hadn't heard
from you in quite a while

And though all prayers are answered,
and God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice, you see,
and started a truck in North Dakota."

Moral of the story:

Pray Early...Pray Often.
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/30/15 at 11:53pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/30/15 at 12:56am
Watch this in FULL SCREEN and hang-on! Sound is optional, but I liked the tunes...


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/29/15 at 4:39pm
His name is: MAD ALBERT...

Enjoy tonight... tomorrow is FRIDAY!
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/29/15 at 4:32pm
A driver tries to navigate on snow - ice, today...

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/29/15 at 12:31am

A wife comes home late at night, slowly, and quietly opens her bedroom door. She sees 4-legs in her bed, under the covers, instead of two. She quietly grabs her husband's cricket bat and in a jealous rage begins to beat the couple until she's tired-out.

She walks into the kitchen to get herself a drink, and there she finds her husband sitting at the island looking at a magazine.

"Your parents came-up, and I'm letting them sleep in our room," he says without looking up. "Have you gone and said, 'Hello?' "

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/27/15 at 6:21am

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says, "I hope the porn channel is disabled?"

The guy at the desk replies, "It's just regular porn, you sicko!"
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/26/15 at 9:00pm

None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You’re driving me mad Sam."

One day, Sam’s mother came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career.

The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Sydney, relocating to Newcastle.

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon could perform.

Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her.

She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something, but eventually died.

The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around and saw our friend Sam, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner!

Oh, you didn't think Sam became a heart surgeon, did you?

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/26/15 at 2:34pm
A wish for you; please have a terrific Tuesday!

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