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Rolrol
Rolrol
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Full Name:Roland Fourre Male
Location:Belgium
Occupation:Psychologist
Birthday:April 24th, 1962
Last Login:7/26/14
Join Date:12/29/11
Profile Views:9,332
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/28/14 at 7:55pm
ZOO JOB

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.

He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/26/14 at 12:31am
GRANDMA'S LETTER

Got a letter from Grandma the other day.

She writes: Today I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just
come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a
thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. I was stopped at a red light at a busy
intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus, because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that lots of people love Jesus!

Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started
honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and
screamed, "For the love of God! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, go!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yell something about a "sunny beach?"

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, and he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign, or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out of the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the
moment that they got out of their cars and started walking
towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I
attended, but this is when I noticed that the light had
changed. So, I waved to all of my brothers and sisters,
grinned, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through before the
light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to
leave them after all of the love that we had shared, so I
slowed the car down, leaned out of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Love, Grandma


[this was shared to me by a new member, "MatoNagi" and he gets the credits or salutations!]
LieslPosted by Liesl   7/23/14 at 2:10am
Today, the 23rd of July, is a day of mourning in my country, The Netherlands, for the 298 killed in the crash on the 17th of July. 193 of whom were Dutch...
Innocent men, women and children on their way to their homes, jobs, holiday destinations, loved ones…
The plane crashed in a rebel-held area in the Ukraine, after apparently being hit by a rocket...
The first bodies recovered from the Malaysia Airlines plane are, finally, to be flown to the Netherlands this afternoon for identification.
The operation to find the remaining bodies and secure crucial evidence continues….
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/20/14 at 3:03am
Roland, have you ever seen a car-crusher-at-work?

http://youtu.be/Oj81PpZ0jys
SkyPhoenixX1Posted by SkyPhoenixX1   7/18/14 at 2:05pm
Hi,

The summer heat has arrived in Germany, the first palms are growing here,lol.
:D



So let's go swimming...,


...have some cold cocktails...


...and eat some yummy ice cream, all day. 8)


Have a funny and sunny weekend!!! :)

~Greetings~
*SkyPhoenixX1*

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/15/14 at 3:16am


A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

"Have you any grounds?"
"Yes, an acre and half and nice little home."

"No, I meant what is the foundation of this case?"
"It’s made of concrete."

“I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
“No, we have carport, and not need one."

"I mean, what are your relations like?"
"All my relations still in Poland."

“Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
“We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."

“Does your wife beat you up?"
“No, I'm always up before her."

“Is your wife a nagger?"
“No, she white."

“Why do you want this divorce?"
“She going to kill me."

“What makes you think that?"
“I got proof..."

"What kind of proof?"
"She going to poison me.
She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover.' "


Have a great Tuesday, Roland!
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/14/14 at 6:27pm


One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny?

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren’t looking, I phoned the Police, they said they were watching you, and... I stepped out of the circle 3 times!"
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/13/14 at 12:26am
RECKLESS DRIVING

Driving to work, a man had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.

"I’m sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I'm still going to have to write you a ticket."

Amazed, the driver asked for what?

The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/11/14 at 6:42am


THE PREACHER'S DONKEY

A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher).
The only way to make the donkey go, was to say, "Hallelujah!"

And the only way to make the donkey stop, was to say, "Amen!"

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher’s instructions. "Hallelujah," said the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately.

"This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah," he rode off very proud of his new purchase.

The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading toward a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop.

"Stop," said the man.

"Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going.

"Oh, no… Bible!….Church!…Please Stop!!" begged the man.

The donkey began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge. Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer.

"Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN."

The donkey came to an abrupt stop, just one step from the edge of the cliff.

Wiping his brow, the man whispered, "Hallelujah."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/10/14 at 5:08am

"SEE? IT'S A CREEPY THURSDAY!"


http://youtu.be/BKezUd_xw20
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/6/14 at 2:25am
HAPPY SUNDAY!!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/4/14 at 6:53pm



FIREWORKS SCARE A BABY


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/1/14 at 5:21pm
JULY 1ST, 2014



MIXED EMOTION

Man goes to a bar and demands a fifth of Wild Turkey Whiskey and a tall glass. Sitting at the bar, drinking one glass after another.

The barman asks, "What's your problem, son?"

The drinker answers, "My wife's pregnant."

The barman speaks to the patrons in the bar, "DRINKS ARE ON THE HOUSE - This round! Dave's wife is pregnant!"

Then Dave groans, drinks another drink.

"So why," asks the barman, "do you look so down-and-out?"

"Mother-in-law's pregnant, too!" he answered.

"ANOTHER FREE ROUND ON THE HOUSE!" shouts the barman.

"No," Dave interrupts. "It's my child, too...."


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   6/28/14 at 4:15am
Have you heard of a Pink Pearl Apple?
You have now!

Lana04861Posted by Lana04861   6/27/14 at 4:13pm
Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   6/20/14 at 11:11pm
THE OUTHOUSE POEM -1932

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"
SkyPhoenixX1Posted by SkyPhoenixX1   6/20/14 at 2:03pm
Hi,

the summer is knocking at your door. So please, open the door and let the sunshine in.
;)





I wish you a perfect start into the best season of the year, with alot of sunshine and warm days. 8)

*Greets from Germany*
~SkyPhoenixX1~


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   6/18/14 at 8:23pm
This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.

The French policeman stops his car and (while standing on the left-side of the car) asks the gentleman if he has been drinking?
With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day. He manages to explain that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne, and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and a quite a few glasses of single malt there after.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to Alco-test (breath test) him and asks the Englishman, if he knows under French Law, why he is going to be arrested?

The Englishman answers with humor: "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you know that this is a British car and my wife is driving... on the other side of the car???"
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