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Full Name:Roland Fourre
Birthday:April 24th, 1962
Last Login:10/9/15
Join Date:12/29/11
Profile Views:12,901
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/10/15 at 5:25pm

Jason has just come home from a long day at his Photographic Studio. His wife, Becky, meets him at the front door, and kisses him on the cheek.

Becky says, ”Did you bring home the snapshots like I
asked? You probably didn't! You never listen to me! You never remember anything! Oh! You did get them. Well,
thank goodness for miracles. Let me see them! This shot
is terrible and this one is even worse. Oh, my God! This
one is horrible and this one is a disaster. In fact, this is
the worst lot of photographs I have ever seen in my life!
You can’t do anything right! You can’t drive a car properly! You can’t even change a fuse.
You can’t sing in tune, and as a photographer, you are the worst! Just take a look at these pictures: in every one of these, I have my mouth open!”

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/10/15 at 7:22am

The preacher's Sunday sermon was 'Forgive Your Enemies.'

He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 % held up their hands.

He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly lady.

"Mrs. Johnson, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any."

"Mrs. Johnson that's very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three," she replied.

"Mrs. Johnson, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?"

The little old lady tottered down the aisle and when she got to the podium and spoke into the microphone, she said, "I've outlived every one of those nosey hags!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/9/15 at 8:41pm
Hello Roland!
Nice GIF... Thank you!

She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

Man below replied, "You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude."

Lady: "Oh, You must be an engineer."

Man: "Yes! How did you know?"

Lady: "Everything you told me is technically correct, but useless & the fact is, I'm still lost."

Engineer: "I see, then you must be in Upper Management."

Lady: "Yes! How did you know?"

Engineer: "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems!"


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/7/15 at 5:09am
Hello Roland!
May God Bless you this week, and next, and next, and next!


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/5/15 at 12:00pm


I'm hoping you'll have a fun day, Roland!
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/1/15 at 4:35pm

A blonde woman goes up to a salesperson and says, gesturing to a product, "I would like to buy this TV."

Salesperson replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Outraged, the blonde leaves the store, dyes her hair red, and returns the next day attempting to buy the TV.

The salesperson replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

The frustrated blonde storms out of the store and returns the next day with black hair.

"Can I PLEASE buy this damn TV?"

The salesperson replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

The blonde screams and almost cries, "How did you always know? I came several times with different hair colors and you still say I can't buy it!"

"Ma'am," he says, "I can't sell you this TV, because it's a microwave."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/29/15 at 4:03pm

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?

What's that? In case I need to fix it again." Joseph grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No", I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like that little boy, Roland.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/28/15 at 1:54pm
Roland, the outcome may shock you!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/28/15 at 12:45am


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/25/15 at 11:28am
What can you never eat for breakfast?

.............................Lunch and Dinner...............................

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/23/15 at 9:18am

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.
His bookkeeper is deaf, and that's the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido wouldn't hear anything so he would not have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again and tell him if he doesn't answer I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/22/15 at 6:55am

"Honey?" said a husband to his wife, "I've invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because he's thinking about getting married."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/21/15 at 9:04am

entcoffPosted by entcoff   9/21/15 at 7:23am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/17/15 at 10:20am

A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below.

"Hey, Buddy! Do you see my ear down there?"

The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?"

"No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/15/15 at 10:57am

Jack and Bob talked it over for a week to go skiing. They loaded up in Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught-up in a terrible blizzard.

They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from....." "Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I got this letter from her lawyer, and it says she just died, and left me everything."

entcoffPosted by entcoff   9/14/15 at 1:13pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/12/15 at 8:32am
Your actions today, Roland, may enlighten someone's otherwise dull life... forever! SMILE...
Enjoy your life, because we only get one!


gubiciiPosted by gubicii   9/10/15 at 5:15pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/10/15 at 8:55am
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