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Full Name:Roland Fourre
Birthday:April 24th, 1962
Last Login:11/18/15
Join Date:12/29/11
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/29/15 at 12:37am
And you think you've bad days?

Watch this slide show-

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/27/15 at 7:45am

A big city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/26/15 at 5:29am

Who says that men have no memory?
A couple were Christmas shopping at the mall, and the place was packed. As the wife walked through the mall, she was surprised to look up and see that her husband was nowhere around.

She was quite upset, because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone, just to ask him where he was?

In a quiet voice he said, "Honey, do you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago? Where you fell in love with that diamond necklace, the one that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you, one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He replied, "Well, I'm in the bar, right next door!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/25/15 at 8:43am

Be prepared to be amazed!


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/25/15 at 4:44am
Before Marriage:

Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: No don't even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will.

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get.

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy?

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/25/15 at 1:39am


Roland, can the good times between us be forgotten so easily?

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/24/15 at 5:40am

Funny, sexy, beer commercial made in Gemany


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/22/15 at 8:13pm


Enjoy this Sunday with family and/or friends

The children are our future...

gubiciiPosted by gubicii   11/22/15 at 6:44pm
entcoffPosted by entcoff   11/22/15 at 4:07am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/21/15 at 7:27pm

"You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young woman's surgery.

She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have sex again, Doctor?"

The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened.

The girl was alarmed, "What's the matter Doctor? I'll be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine... It's just that... no one has ever asked me that question... after having their tonsils removed."

Do everything you want to do (as long as it's legal), experience life as a daredevil, be as happy and as care-free as a child! :)
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/21/15 at 7:54am

A grandson of slaves, a boy was born in a poor neighborhood of New Orleans known as the "Back of Town." His father abandoned the family when the child was an infant, his mother became a prostitute and the boy and his sister had to live with their grandmother.

Early in life he proved to be gifted for music and, with three other kids, he sang in the streets of New Orleans. His first gains were the coins that were thrown to them.

A Jewish family, the Karnofsky's, who had immigrated from Lithuania to the USA had pity for the 7-year-old boy and brought him into their home. They initially gave him 'work' in the house, to feed this hungry child. There he remained and slept in this Jewish family's home where, for the first time in his life he was treated with kindness and tenderness.
When he went to bed, Mrs. Karnofsky sang him a Russian Lullaby that he would sing with her. Later, he learned to sing and play several Russian and Jewish songs. Over time, this boy became the adopted son of this family.

The Karnofsky's gave him money to buy his first musical instrument, as was the custom in the Jewish families. They sincerely admired his musical talent.

Later, when he became a professional musician and composer, he used these Jewish melodies in compositions, such as "St. James Infirmary" and "Go Down Moses."
The little black boy grew up and wrote a book about this Jewish family who had adopted him in 1907.

In memory of this family and until the end of his life, he wore a star of David and said that in this family he had learned "how to live real life and determination."

You might recognize his name; this little boy was called, Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong.

Louis Armstrong proudly spoke fluent Yiddish!
And I bet you did not know any of this...
And "Satchmo" is Yiddish for "Big Cheeks!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/19/15 at 4:07pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/19/15 at 8:20am

A business man goes home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating, and panting.

"What's going on, here?" he demands.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs and grabs the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 5-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet, and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the closet door.
Sure enough, there's his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You stupid idiot!" screams the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked, and scaring the kids!!!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/18/15 at 10:27pm

Try to imagine a car body over 3-wheeled Harley Davidson


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/16/15 at 9:11am

I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, and I noticed a burglar sneaking through my next door neighbor's back garden, wielding a knife.

Suddenly my neighbor appeared from nowhere, smacked him over the head with a shovel, and this killed him instantly. The neighbor then dug a grave, put the body in it, and covered it.

Totally astonished and shaking, I got back into bed. By now my wife had woke-up, looked at me and said, "You seem upset... what is it?"

I replied, "You'll never believe what I just saw... That son-of-a-gun, next door, Bob. He still has my shovel."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/15/15 at 6:04pm
WHY NOT? We are alive, we are free, and through God's love we deserve to be happy! :)


I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

This dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/15/15 at 6:32am

I was wasting time at the bar at the airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says, "No, why you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No," I said. "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little jerk!"

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