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Full Name:Roland Fourre
Birthday:April 24th, 1962
Last Login:3/30/15
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/18/15 at 3:31pm
Saint Peter has drank too many cups of coffee and needs to use the bathroom. He sees Jesus walking by and stops him.

"Jesus, thank goodness your here. I have a favor to ask. Can you watch the gate while I use the bathroom?"

Jesus, ecstatic at the chance to help says, "Of course... But what do I do?"

"Its simple, as people come up, you must check their names to see if they are in this book, I have. If they are then welcome them in! If not, turn them away." And with that Peter leaves to exorcise his bowels.

Jesus waits for some time and eventually an elderly man walks up to him. Jesus greets him energetically and asks his name.

The old man looks dismayed. "I was hit on the head when I died... I don't remember it."

"Well sir," says Jesus, "tell me about yourself! Perhaps I can guess it?"

The old man's brow furrows in thought. "All I can remember is I was a carpenter, and my son was beloved my millions of people."

Now Jesus begins to choke up at this. "Dad... Daddy?"

The old man looks hard at Jesus and says,


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/13/15 at 8:16pm

Adelina_Posted by Adelina_   4/4/15 at 2:33am
Happy Easter,Dear Friend !

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/25/15 at 2:53pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/24/15 at 2:36pm

An old farmer is sitting on his front porch watching the sunrise when he sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying a spool of something metallic under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

"You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" says the old man.

The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy walks by, dragging behind him 30 chickens caught in the chicken wire.

The next morning, the old man sees the boy walk by carrying a shiny roll of something. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Duct tape."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch me some ducks."

"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!"

The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy walks by, trailing behind him 30 ducks caught in a long trail of duct tape.

The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying a branch behind him. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"It's a pussy willow."

"Wait up," says the old man. "I'll get my hat!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/23/15 at 1:18am

Q: What do you call someone who speaks 3-languages?

A: Multilingual.


Q: What do you call a person who speaks 2-languages?

A: Bilingual.


Q: What do you call a person who speaks only 1-language?

A: An American! :D

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/22/15 at 10:50pm

LAVAJAVAPosted by LAVAJAVA   3/22/15 at 2:47pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/17/15 at 11:58pm

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/16/15 at 7:24am
Children... Our future is in their hands!

Timmy was playing in the living room floor... When all of a sudden his mom comes from the kitchen and says, "Timmy, when your father comes home, please tell him to come to our bedroom immediately."

Although suspicious, he agrees.

Later, when his dad comes home, Timmy says, "Daddy! Daddy! Mom wants you to go to your room!"

The dad then goes upstairs to the master bedroom. Timmy is curious and quietly follows his father upstairs. When his father goes in, he locks the door. Timmy gets on his knees and looks through the keyhole and sees his mom standing naked in front of his dad.

She says, "John, I want a baby."

Timmy is shocked to realize that... after 9 months he has a baby sister in the house.

Timmy gives this some hard thinking, then goes to his mom and says, "Mommy! Mommy! When daddy comes home, tell him to go to my room, please?!"

She's surprised by his request, but says, "Yes" anyway.

Later, when his father comes home, his mom says, "John, Timmy wants you to go to his room."

John then goes to Timmy's room, where he sees his son standing naked. Timmy locks the door, looks his father dead in the eye, and says, "Daddy, I want a new bike."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/9/15 at 7:33pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/5/15 at 10:24am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/5/15 at 6:34am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/4/15 at 1:33am

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/3/15 at 11:38am

A man is hiking and he sees a farmer with two cows. One is black and the other is white. The man hiking walks up to the farmer and asks him, "What do you feed the cows?"

The farmer asks, "The black one, or the white one?"

"The black one," says the hiker.

"I feed it grass."

"What about the white one then?"

"I feed it grass too."

The man nods, "And where do they usually sleep?"

"The black one or the white one?" the farmer asks.

"The black one."

"In the barn," answers the farmer.

"What about the white one?" asks the hiker.

"It sleeps in the barn too," says the farmer.

The hiker starts getting frustrated, "And what do you use them for?" he asks.

The farmer asks again, "Which one?"

"The black one."

"Well, I normally use it to get milk."

"And the white one?"

"I use it to get milk too," says the farmer, scratching his arm.

The hiker is extremely angry and yells, "What the hell is wrong with you? You keep asking me which cow I mean, then give me the same response for both!"

The farmer answers calmly, "Well, because the black cow is mine."

"Oh, and what about the white cow?" asks the hiker.

"Well, she's mine too..."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/2/15 at 2:02pm

My Boss pulled up to work with his sweet new Corvette this morning, and I complimented him on it.

He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set some goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better car next year."


SWEET DREAMS, ROLAND (when its time to go)!
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/2/15 at 3:21am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/27/15 at 4:03am

"Did you hear about the window-peeper over at Leroy and Edna's last night?" asked Bill.

"No," Ed answered. "What happened?"

"Edna, almost killed the guy," said Bill. "Yeah, if Leroy hadn't have come in when he did... the poor guy's in the hospital, as we speak."

"What happened?" asked Ed.

"Apparently, Edna had just come into her bedroom from taking a shower, and she saw the guy looking at her through her window!"

"So, how did Edna hurt the guy... if he was in the street?" asked Ed.

"Well, this is the odd part," says Bill. "The guy must have jumped the fence, and Edna nailed him in the back of the head with a bed-side lamp!"

"Wait," says Ed. "If the guy's outside, then how did Edna hit him in the head?"

"The poor man," said Bill, "he was reaching inside, through the window to close the curtains and... KA-POW!"

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