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Last Login:Today
Join Date:10/3/10
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My Website:axis-jimihendrixtribute.com
About Me:Rock'n'Roll Bass Guitar Player
Interests:Music, Digital Art, My 2 Beautiful Cats, All Things Bass Guitar, Tattoos, History, Vampires, The Historical Jesus, Guns....
Favorite Music:Rock, Jazz, Space, Dub, Ambient, Fusion, Progressive...Anything with a SOLID PULSE...
Favorite Books:The Jesus Papers, The Great Divorce, The Real Frank Zappa Book, Hellraiser, A Briefer History Of Time, Life, The Jesus Dynasty, Jack Bruce Composing Himself'...
Favorite Movies:Tom Dowd "The Language Of Music"...and too many others to list...
Favorite TV Shows:American Horror Story, Bates Motel, United States of Tara, Breaking Bad....
Favorite Quotes:"Reality Is But A Shared Illusion"

"If you want to become a GREAT Jazz Musician, FIRST you have to strive to become a GREAT Human Being"
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   Yesterday at 6:00am

Who says that men have no memory?

A couple were Christmas shopping at the mall, and the place was packed. As the wife walked through the mall, she was surprised to look up and see that her husband was nowhere around.

She was quite upset, because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone, just to ask him where he was?

In a quiet voice he said, "Honey, do you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago? Where you fell in love with that diamond necklace, the one that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you, one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He replied, "Well, I'm in the bar, right next door!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   Yesterday at 6:00am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/25/15 at 8:54am

Be prepared to be amazed!


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/25/15 at 4:51am
This may not get you any dates, but....

Before Marriage:

Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: No don't even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will.

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get.

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy?

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/24/15 at 3:48am

Funny, sexy, beer commercial made in Gemany


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/21/15 at 8:19pm
Go and do everything you want to do, experience life as a daredevil, be as happy as a care-free child!

"You'll be fine," the Doctor said after finishing the young woman's surgery.

She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have sex again, Doctor?"

The Surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened.

The girl was alarmed, "What's the matter Doctor? I'll be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine... It's just that... no one has ever asked me that question... after having their tonsils removed."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/21/15 at 8:16am

A grandson of slaves, a boy was born in a poor neighborhood of New Orleans known as the "Back of Town." His father abandoned the family when the child was an infant, his mother became a prostitute and the boy and his sister had to live with their grandmother.

Early in life he proved to be gifted for music and, with three other kids, he sang in the streets of New Orleans. His first gains were the coins that were thrown to them.

A Jewish family, the Karnofsky's, who had immigrated from Lithuania to the USA had pity for the 7-year-old boy and brought him into their home. They initially gave him 'work' in the house, to feed this hungry child. There he remained and slept in this Jewish family's home where, for the first time in his life he was treated with kindness and tenderness.
When he went to bed, Mrs. Karnofsky sang him a Russian Lullaby that he would sing with her. Later, he learned to sing and play several Russian and Jewish songs. Over time, this boy became the adopted son of this family.

The Karnofsky's gave him money to buy his first musical instrument, as was the custom in the Jewish families. They sincerely admired his musical talent.

Later, when he became a professional musician and composer, he used these Jewish melodies in compositions, such as "St. James Infirmary" and "Go Down Moses."
The little black boy grew up and wrote a book about this Jewish family who had adopted him in 1907.

In memory of this family and until the end of his life, he wore a star of David and said that in this family he had learned "how to live real life and determination."

You might recognize his name; this little boy was called, Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong.

Louis Armstrong proudly spoke fluent Yiddish!
And I bet you did not know any of this...
And "Satchmo" is Yiddish for "Big Cheeks!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/20/15 at 7:45am
gubiciiPosted by gubicii   11/19/15 at 6:40pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/19/15 at 4:30pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/19/15 at 8:15am

A business man goes home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating, and panting.

"What's going on, here?" he demands.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs and grabs the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 5-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet, and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the closet door.
Sure enough, there's his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You stupid idiot!" screams the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked, and scaring the kids!!!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/18/15 at 10:19pm

Try to imagine a car body over 3-wheeled Harley Davidson


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/18/15 at 11:20am

After a delicious dinner and a few drinks the wife leads husband into the bedroom.

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever seen $20 all crumpled up?"

"No" replied her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse, slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked him, "Have you ever seen $50 all crumpled up?"

"Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

"Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 dollars all crumpled up?”

"No way!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited.

She whispered, "Go look in the garage."

CollieSmilePosted by CollieSmile   11/18/15 at 2:25am

Hi Everyone,

I only have time for a very quick stop tonight. I haven't been able to be on DN very much, but I've missed you!

I'm going to the hospital for foot surgery tomorrow...

Please read this journal entry of mine for the whole story... and have a great evening!

Elaine :)


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/17/15 at 5:05am

A burly man walks into a crowded bar, waving his un-holstered pistol and yelled-out, "I have a Colt .45, with eight rounds in the clip, and one in the chamber. And I want to know who's been sleeping with my 'Old Lady'?"

There was a long silence, then a voice from the back of the darkened room called out, "You don't have enough ammo!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/16/15 at 9:16am

I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, and I noticed a burglar sneaking through my next door neighbor's back garden, wielding a knife.

Suddenly my neighbor appeared from nowhere, smacked him over the head with a shovel, and this killed him instantly. The neighbor then dug a grave, put the body in it, and covered it.

Totally astonished and shaking, I got back into bed. By now my wife had woke-up, looked at me and said, "You seem upset... what is it?"

I replied, "You'll never believe what I just saw... That son-of-a-gun, next door, Bob. He still has my shovel."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/15/15 at 5:44pm
WHY DON'T WE CHANGE OUR MOODS? We are alive, we are free, and through God's love we are happy! :)


I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

This dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/15/15 at 6:38am

I was wasting time at the bar at the airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says, "No, why you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No," I said. "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little jerk!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/14/15 at 8:19pm
Kind of spooky, huh? :)
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