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Full Name:Rick Gosselin
Last Login:3/22/23
Join Date:12/30/14
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JOHNBECKPosted by JOHNBECK   12/13/22 at 11:10pm
JOHNBECKPosted by JOHNBECK   11/15/22 at 3:19pm

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/7/16 at 11:52pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/25/16 at 4:29am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/19/16 at 7:05am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/29/16 at 5:44am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/31/16 at 5:56am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   5/6/16 at 8:13pm
"Sixty is the worst age to be," says Sam. "You always feel like you have to whiz, and most of the time you stand there, and nothing comes..."

"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year old, Roy. "When you're 70, you don't have bowel movement. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet, and nothing happens!"

"Actually," said the 80-year old, Bob. "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble whizzing, too?" asked Sam.

"No, I whiz every morning at 6:00. Like a racehorse -- no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" asked Roy.

"No, I have one every morning, at 6:30."

Exasperated, Sam said, "You whiz every morning at 6:00, and poo every morning at 6:30? So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00 AM."
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   5/5/16 at 10:45pm

A priest, a minister, and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched toward Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best praying I ever did... was when I was hanging upside-down, from a telephone pole."
CiTiBoYPosted by CiTiBoY   4/27/16 at 3:33pm

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/11/16 at 8:06am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/8/16 at 11:58pm

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around a shopping mall when they collide.

The old guy says, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24-years old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big breasts, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a red halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter - let's go look for yours."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/8/16 at 8:38am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   4/2/16 at 5:18pm

A Hillbilly Family are visiting a shopping mall for their first time. The father and son are separated from the wife and two daughters. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two, shiny silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Pa?"

The father responded, "Son, I've never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an older lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous, young, red-haired woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go get your mother!"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/27/16 at 6:32am

Rick, this is an experiment with a new beer called Helium Beer; and even if you don't drink, this is worth your time, because this is enjoyable. Just listen...


PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/15/16 at 6:50am

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats at a concert.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,

"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The old man didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient.

"Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.

Finally, they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"

"Fred," the old man moaned.

"Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.

With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied, "The balcony"...

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/25/16 at 12:58pm

Which of the following names are you familiar with?

1. Monica Lewinski

2. Bill Clinton

3. Hillary Clinton

4. Adolph Hitler

5. Jorge Bergoglio

6. Winnie Mandela

7. Vladimir Putin

8. Linda Lovelace

9. Saddam Hussein

10. Tiger Woods

Did you have trouble with #5?

You know all the criminals, murderers, thieves, liars, and cheaters, but you don't know the POPE??

Lovely, just lovely!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/17/16 at 8:29am
My cousin died tonight in a motorcycle accident.
If you ride a cycle wear all of the protective gear that you possibly can; my cousin didn't, and his head popped like a melon.
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/17/16 at 8:26am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/11/16 at 9:28am
I was invited to a costume party, last week. I had dressed as a chicken, and I met this pretty woman who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and... a lifelong question was answered.
It was the chicken.
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