xmarti 1 years ago

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Andruhaif 7 years ago

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CiTiBoY 9 years ago

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JAVAJODI 10 years ago

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Puppydawg 10 years ago

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[B][I]Funny, sexy, beer commercial made in Gemany[/I]

https://youtu.be/MeLxs5elNQA [/B]

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aussie48 10 years ago

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Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B][color=black]A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the
business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you."
The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued.

"I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, had received a single seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some
of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim
didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing
the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot.
But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room.

When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful - in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back.

"My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the
next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified.

He thought, 'The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!'

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed, Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is "Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, [I]"One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. And all of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. And Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my dead seed in it.

Therefore, Jim is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"[/I]
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Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://architecture.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/709669/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/709/709669-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black]A blonde woman goes up to a salesperson and says, gesturing to a product, "I would like to buy this TV."

Salesperson replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Outraged, the blonde leaves the store, dyes her hair red, and returns the next day attempting to buy the TV.

The salesperson replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

The frustrated blonde storms out of the store and returns the next day with black hair.

"Can I PLEASE buy this damn TV?"

The salesperson replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

The blonde screams and almost cries, "How did you always know? I came several times with different hair colors and you still say I can't buy it!"

[I]"Ma'am," he says, "I can't sell you this TV, because it's a microwave."[/I]
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[/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/760927/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/760/760927-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black][I]I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?

What's that? In case I need to fix it again." Joseph grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No", I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

Leah, I used to like that little boy.[/I]
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gubicii 10 years ago

[URL=http://nature.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1466215/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbseg/1466/1466215-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]