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Journal for smitnkitn Journal for smitnkitn
May
1
Sad
Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. I wish that 'him not playing games with my head' was true. He has been doing things trying to get me to break up with him and when that didn't work(because I wasn't snooping through things like he thought I was) he had to do the dirty work himself. I just don't understand what the problem is. He acted jealous of me talking to a friend last night on the computer because he made me smile. He is lying to me about things and now he is acting like he is suicidal! For right now I have no choice for financial reasons to stay with him for a few more weeks. That is not healthy for either one of us, especially since I don't know from one minute to the next if I want to love him or hurt him. It would be way to easy for me to hurt him in a way that I don't think that he would ever recover from. But I am not that kind of person. He has been hurt and betrayed really badly in the past and I could never add to that. I'm not even sure anymore if he told me the truth about it anymore, maybe he got what he deserved. I doubt that I will ever know the whole truth or that I really want to know. All I really know is that my friend 2hot2handle has been a big help and that this would be a lot harder if I didn't have him to lean on. We are just friends and live a long ways away from one another, but I feel like he is my best friend and I owe it all to the Nexus. Again, thank you for your wonderful and supportive words, they mean a lot and made me feel better. I hope that all is going better for you and that you are doing well.
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