Puppydawg 11 years ago

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Puppydawg 11 years ago

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A couple was riding up the ski lift at one of the popular Colorado resorts. Suddenly the woman complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a restroom. He told her not to fear - that he was sure some kind of powder room was at the top. He was wrong, and the pain did not go away.
If you have ever had Nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters.
With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the problem, suggested that since she was wearing an all white ski outfit that would camouflage her, she could go off into the woods. She headed for the tree line and began disrobing.
If you've ever parked on a slope, then you know there is a right way, and a wrong way to "set" your skis, so you don't move. Yup, you guessed it. In her hurry, she had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself sliding backwards, picking up speed, out of control, racing through the trees, back down the slope. Her derriere was still bare, her pants down below her knees, creating an unusual vista for other skiers.
The woman skied, if you define the word loosely, back under the lift and finally collided violently with one of the support pylons. The bad news was that she broke her arm, and was unable to pull up her ski pants.
At long last her husband arrived, put an end to the nude show, then went to the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her to the hospital.
In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers.

"So how did you break your leg?" she asked the man, making small talk.

"It was the damnedest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up the ski lift and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy woman skiing backward out of control down the mountain with her bare bottom hanging out of her clothes and her pants down around her knees. I leaned over to get a better look... and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. And I fell out of the lift.
So, how did you break your arm?"[/color][/B]

Lana04861 11 years ago

[url=http://www.dreamies.de][img]http://img20.dreamies.de/img/483/b/hhbnqlnhyob.jpg[/img][/url]

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Puppydawg 11 years ago

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Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice. However, I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, and tight motorcycle clothes. Also, she is so much older than me.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She deserves it!

Don’t worry, Dad. I’m 16, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love,
Samson

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it’s safe for me to come home! [/color][/B]

Lana04861 11 years ago

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Lana04861 11 years ago

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brolly 11 years ago

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Lana04861 11 years ago

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Lana04861 11 years ago

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BeachBum4Ever 11 years ago

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Have a great evening!
Pam