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Member Information
Full Name:Joanna Simone
Last Login:11/6/16
Join Date:9/3/10
Profile Views:18,867
Personal Information
My Website:n/a
About Me:I am artistic...creative...a bit eclectic..love life...nature..I have two sets of twin grandchildren...I know a little about almost everything...but a lot about nothing.. but I am a florist..
some...not all movies...exercising..computer games..etc...etc...etc
Favorite Music:a broad range of music...from classic rock to classical...jazz...Jamaraquai
Favorite Books:Watership Down...Wicked...Lord of the Rings trilogy...artwork of Frank Frazetta
Favorite Movies:Lord of the Rings...Out of Africa..Mama Mia..
Favorite TV Shows:Masterpiece Mystery
Favorite Quotes:Life is Short...
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AndruhaifPosted by Andruhaif   8/6/18 at 9:22pm

sundar223Posted by sundar223   8/30/17 at 12:40am

gubiciiPosted by gubicii   6/15/16 at 5:12pm
gubiciiPosted by gubicii   3/5/16 at 6:16pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   11/13/15 at 9:20pm

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I've never seen nothing like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I’m still lost…

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/31/15 at 8:40pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/28/15 at 5:30pm
Joanna, wishing you a lovely day: not too warm or too cool!

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older:

#9 Death is the number one killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may become a burning issue tomorrow.

Don't ignore this message. This is your only warning.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/6/15 at 2:20am
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/29/15 at 4:20pm

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?

What's that? In case I need to fix it again." Joseph grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No", I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

Joanna, I used to like that little boy.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/26/15 at 9:56pm

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time.

When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and... there’s no punch line.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/17/15 at 11:24am

A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below.

"Hey, Buddy! Do you see my ear down there?"

The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?"

"No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   9/15/15 at 11:40am

Jack and Bob talked it over for a week to go skiing. They loaded up in Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught-up in a terrible blizzard.

They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from....." "Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I got this letter from her lawyer, and it says she just died, and left me everything."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   7/24/15 at 5:35am
If you disagree with what I post, today, let me know. I'll remove it, and say no more.
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   5/23/15 at 4:36am
I challenge you to outdance the Ross Sisters.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   3/4/15 at 8:03am
I'm so senile: have an enjoyable Wednesday!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   2/2/15 at 7:46pm

A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"

"What? ........ You're coming empty handed?"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/20/15 at 4:18pm

His 7-year old son has lost his first upper incisor this week. The boy woke-up to find a dollar under his pillow.

His wife was disturbed, "A whole dollar? What happened to giving out quarters?"

Last night, he lost his second front incisor. Again, the son found a dollar under his pillow.

His wife says, "Don't you think that's too much money to be giving for a tooth?"

"I don't know," the husband answers, "they looked like buck-teeth to me."

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/20/15 at 12:34am
Last fall my friend set-up a new tree-stand in a new hunting spot, in an area of woods that he had never hunted before. This is what he saw just as he neared his tree..................... SURPRISE!.... No hunting today!

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/16/15 at 12:30am

Ever wondered why baby diapers have brand names like "Luvs," "Huggies," and "Pampers," while adult diapers are called "Depends"?

Well, when a baby takes a carp (or whatever) people are still going to "Luv" 'em, "Hug" 'em, and "Pamper" 'em.

But when old people do it, it "Depends" on who is in the Will.

Now, you can rest & relax... Or go write-out your Will.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/4/15 at 11:10pm
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