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Journal for horse2Journal for horse2
Jul
10
Geeky
I found my login information for this website, and to be honest when I pulled it up I wasn’t expecting this place to be still up and running. But it is, and after looking through my life on here; the private messages, the wall posts full of sparkling gifs and well wishes for the week, and the kind chatter on uploaded wallpapers, I’m honestly floored. I wanted to mark that I, 21 year old Scav (that’s my name now! Insane how things change, yeah?) had been here, had seen this part of my past, but I wouldn’t dream of messing with the Time Capsule that is my about me, so:

This website raised me. Literally. I joined in 2011, so I would have been 10 years old at the time, lured in by photos of CGI unicorns. I’d spend hours, and I mean hours, just downloading photo after photo. I’m not sure when I decided to make an account, but I did, and I found an entire community beyond the pink and blue unicorn cloudscapes. This community was full of older folks who did not mind 10 year old me’s clumsy foray into their first social media website; instead I was met with kindness and love in the form of blingee gifs and shared interests. I found so many of y’all that loved wolves as much as I did! And that was unprecedented! No one had ever had the same interests as me!

I think the love I experienced in this community is the reason why again and again I have turned towards the internet in search of connection and understanding. In these years since I’ve left this website, not all of my attempts have been successful, but I’d like to believe that the memory, however subconscious, of the sheer kindness I experienced here kept me going. And I’m glad. I’ve met so many beloved friends through the internet, and I don’t think I would have if it wasn’t for pink cgi unicorn wallpapers and walls of flashing gifs.

From my snooping, I know this place isn’t perfect (how are you gonna be a trumpie on a website where you upload images and say hi to your besties every morning??) , and I doubt it ever was (nostalgia is a funny thing) But I am eternally grateful to those folks who were so kind to 10 year old me, who saw this kid who barely knew how to type let alone have a conversation, and took them under their wing. Some of y’all are even still here and active! That is insanely cool to me, that this little pocket that once contained all of my friends is thriving with them still in it.

Today I sat in the car with the love of my life, exhausted but satisfied from a day at a convention, and we talked about this place. About Loki, who I could barely talk to because I thought he was so cool (we are convinced that you are actually a trickster god btw); Mousa, who was SO fun to talk and pretend to be wolves with; Kitsune, who I followed out into the wider internet, and introduced me to shows that are still my favorites today; about Patrice and Talana and Carmen Bonilla who would, without fail, fill my profile with sweet words and images. We talked about all of you, and I realized how much you all shaped me and how much I love you all for it.

So thank you, and in the words of Patrice,

Have a very nice day and week :)
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