Puppydawg 8 years ago

[img]http://www.pmcaregivers.com/images/herman 80th birthday_small.gif [/img]
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Thank you, for being [U]my[/U] friend![/I]
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Puppydawg 8 years ago

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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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[B][color=black][I]Jesus is the reason of the season; go with God![/I][/color]
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Puppydawg 9 years ago

[B][color=black][I]Always live life to its fullest; no regrets; go with God...

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Puppydawg 9 years ago

[B][color=red]HAPPY BIRTHDAY[/color][/B]

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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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[B]Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?"

Jeff admitted, "Well, yes, I did."

She said, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."

After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons, and since Jeff doesn't, that he should come to their house, around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had a romp for a few hours and then, Jeff left.

Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?"

Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."

Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?"

Sandy thought, 'Oh no, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came to the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me, and he said that he'd stop by our house, on his way home, and pay me back. You know? It's so good to have a friend, one you can trust and count on to be on-time."

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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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[B][color=black]A priest, a minister, and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched toward Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best praying I ever did... was when I was hanging upside-down, from a telephone pole."
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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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[B][color=black][U]Everyone Thinks Senior Citizens are Senile.[/U]

An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was unlocked, so they went in, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved, 'I love you, Sally.'

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, "We must give it back." (But he didn't say, 'we have got to!')

Sally said, "Finders keepers," and she put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door.

"Pardon me," said the first officer. "Did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car, yesterday?"

Sally said, "No."

Jerry said, "She’s lying. She hid it, up in the attic!"

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he’s getting senile."

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said, "Tell us the story, from the beginning."

Jerry said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school, yesterday..."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, [I]"Were outta here!"[/I]
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Puppydawg 9 years ago

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[B][color=black][U]60th High School Reunion[/U]

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.

This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.

They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.

Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes... yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower.

But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say “Yes”
or did she say “No?”

He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response.
With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.

As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say, 'Yes' or did you say 'No?' "

"Why you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes, I will.' And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
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