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Although I*m still in uploading mode, a friend of mine is such a productive and prolific uploader that I might lag behind (too much) commenting on all of his uploads if I delay it any further (actually, doing everything 1FDC on ALL his offerings)...It*s my choice (to comment on all his walls...well so far, that*s my choice...I might change that if I become too busy) (Since I have a slow internet connection, what takes long is downloading wp*s...but like I said, everything about it is my choice) I don*t have to do it, and he never requested such from me...Maybe when I do this for all his uploads I*m really just dissipating some of my sexual energy...oops.
You may not know this so I*m letting you know (not that you would want to know, but I*m saying it here anyway)...I actually feel so shy and embarrassed that I have a crush on HIM (My Secret Crush), as if it were wrong to admire him...and my shyness is actually twisting my soul into a pretzel-shaped thing, out of shyness provoked by his sexiness). Just saying. (Wait...no one understands me, right??) (No one knows what I*m talking about when I speak about shyness provoked by admiration...maybe you*d understand chills and excitement better...with shyness added to the mix of unexplainable feelings) (Yeah, the same hot and sexy guy)
STATUS: I am TAKEN (well, just my heart, and not legally)
I think that when someone (like me) says that she is EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE (to any other man on Earth) she is just saying that she is obsessed with the sexiness of her crush.
I don*t chase him. I hate the very idea of girls chasing guys - generally speaking, it*s so unladylike and undesirable! We actually don*t talk to each other on the PM area except if it*s pure business. For example (in the PM area):
HIM: I rejected 3 of your uploads. These are the rules of the group, etc.
ME: Okay.
These aren*t the exact words, but I try to be as brief as possible, answering his business PM*s!
So where*s the affection and kind regard for each other? It*s seen in different ways, just never in the PM area...besides, if we get too warm and affectionate, it defeats the purpose of his "New Beginning" with his girlfriend (to whom I also give my wholehearted support!).
I try to keep an ACCEPTABLE DISTANCE. But I think that expressing my feelings on my page and in my journal helps release bottled-up passion...and maybe helps me function better on DN...I mean, not too long ago, I deleted my own wallpaper because I was love-dazed, believe it or not (I wasn*t supposed to delete it, as it had many downloads to its credit already, and yet...!!)...all from repressed love...unexpressed passion...chained melody!
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