ZARCH - My Desktop Nexus

ZARCH

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Member Information

Full Name:	Zarsh El Sawaf
Location:	EGYPT
Occupation:	accounter
Birthday:	August 18th
Education:	commerce faculty

Last Login:	8/5/24
Join Date:	2/18/09
Profile Views:	28,809

Personal Information

My Website:	www.zedge.com

About Me:	Like Classic Computer Games.. Reading... My Home (EGYPT)..

Interests:	BEING GOOD..

Favorite Music:	CLASSIC HIP HOP..

Favorite Books:	THE MYTH..

Favorite Movies:	FORREST GUMP..

Favorite TV Shows:	PRISON BREAK

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Profile Comments

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Posted by manizyn 5/23/16 at 9:20pm

Posted by manizyn 4/13/16 at 12:09am

Have A Great Day My Friend
*** ZynaH***

[B]

Posted by gubicii 4/3/16 at 5:04pm

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Posted by Puppydawg 11/18/15 at 10:20pm

[URL=http://motorcycles.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1940855/]

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Try to imagine a car body over 3-wheeled Harley Davidson

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y16ObVRvgOE

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Posted by Puppydawg 10/31/15 at 9:24pm

[url=http://www.myniceprofile.com/halloween-3588.html]

[/url]

Posted by Puppydawg 10/29/15 at 7:46pm

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Posted by Puppydawg 9/17/15 at 9:02am

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that, however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!" says Saint Peter.

"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??" asks the politician.

"Those are the rules," says Saint Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy disappears.

Next, he awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he's in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds... Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can't be right?

"Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C'mon, wakey wakey, we've only got 24 hours!" Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he's in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite... And there's a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini.

"Who are you?" the politician asks.

"Well, I'm Satan!" says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!"

"Wait, this is Hell? But... Where's all the pain and suffering?" he asks.

Satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we've been a bit misrepresented over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there's extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to look outside."

Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course.

"It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbor!" says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cheerily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him.
Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Gandhi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylyn Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear... And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep...

And is woken up by St Peter. "So, that was Hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I bet?"

"No sir!" says the man.

"So then," says St Peter, "you can make your choice. It's Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on."

"Well... I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I'd prefer Hell" says the politician.

"Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurus ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other.

"What's this??" He cries. "Where's the hotel?? Where's my wife??? Where's the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???"

"Ah," says Satan. "You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted."

Posted by Puppydawg 9/12/15 at 7:03am

Enjoy each day as they come, Zarsh!

[URL=http://animals.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1459722/]

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https://youtu.be/2qSLvkskXFA

[URL=http://animals.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/465812/]

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[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/have-a-nice-weekend/]

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Posted by Puppydawg 9/11/15 at 12:49pm

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/801566/]

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An Army Captain's become a Company Commander. He is in his new office, unpacking his stuff and setting things up, there is a knock on the door. The new Captain wants to impress his new soldiers, so he sits down, picks up the phone, and says, "Come in."

A private enters the room, the Captain holds up his finger and starts talking, "Ok General, thanks for the invitation to dinner at your house. I'm excited to be here and thanks again for hand picking me to Command this unit. See you Friday night. Bye."

He hangs up and looks at the private and says, "Hey there, what can I do for you?"

The private says "Good morning Sir, I'm just here to hook up your phone."

Posted by Puppydawg 9/2/15 at 11:36am

Posted by Puppydawg 8/28/15 at 4:13am

Posted by Puppydawg 8/27/15 at 8:34am

[URL=http://people.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/859644/]

[/URL]

An elderly woman, of ninety years, was caught stealing a can of peaches from a grocery store. In court, the Judge was told not to be lenient for certain reasons. However, the Judge could not help but take pity upon the older woman.

The Judge called for the elderly woman to stand in front of his bench.

"Why did you steal the peaches?" asked the Judge.

"I was hungry."

"Okay, how many peaches were in the can?"

"Three."

The Judge pondered for a second, then stated:

"Alright, for three peaches, you must stay in prison for three nights."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

Just before she was to be dismissed, the elderly woman's husband stood up.

"Your Honor, Sir, may I say something?"

"Of course."

"She also stole and ate can of peas."

Posted by Puppydawg 8/27/15 at 7:49am

[URL=http://sports.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1966158/]

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An elderly couple were at home watching TV. Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said, "For Pete's sake, Phil... leave it on the porn channel... You already know how to fish!"

Posted by Puppydawg 8/26/15 at 11:18am

Posted by Puppydawg 8/24/15 at 10:37am

[URL=http://entertainment.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1805110
/]

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A Police Officer is walking down the street, approaching from about a block away thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going-out. It looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out."

As he gets closer, it becomes very apparent that her breast is hanging out.

When he gets close enough to talk face to face, he says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why, officer?"

"Well, your breast is hanging out."

She looks down and screams, "OH MY GOD, I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS!"

Posted by gubicii 8/20/15 at 6:27pm

[URL=http://animals.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1927893/]

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Posted by Puppydawg 8/7/15 at 8:33am

https://youtu.be/9ItbDo5K7nk

https://youtu.be/60O5m1Q9HOI

Posted by Puppydawg 7/29/15 at 11:31pm

WARNING FROM POLICE

THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN

BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE--NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating.. You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into reverse.

When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.

So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!

BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want it to fall into the wrong hands.

Please share this with your friends and family!

Posted by Puppydawg 7/25/15 at 6:26am

Posted by Puppydawg 7/23/15 at 6:49am

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1991827/]

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https://youtu.be/ozzA-wkHaTY

Happy tune and happy day!

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