[url=https://www.dreamies.de][/url]

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............................GET OUT & GO VOTE ..........................

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There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His
father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every
time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into
the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his
temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each
day that he was able to hold his temper. The days
passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his
father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to
the fence. He said, "You have done well, boy, but look
at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the
same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar
just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw
it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

The little boy then understood how powerful his words
were. He looked up at his father and said "I hope you
can forgive me father for the holes I put in you."

"Of course I can," said the father.

It's not always anger, it is your actions in general.
There are no "fresh starts" in life. There is no new
beginning. Forgiveness comes easy for many
people but the scars of the past, they never go
away. Watch what you do today, because sometimes
the price isn't worth the reward.

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Jesus walks into a Hotel and places nails on the reception desk. The receptionist takes a moment to understand, not speaking Aramaic, but is able to explain in mime that nails are not legal tender.

After Jesus leaves, a duck that has been kind of harassing the receptionist for the last few days (by asking for grapes) waddles in. The duck asks if the receptionist has any nails, and the receptionist finally snaps. Deciding to walk out on the most ludicrous workday of his life, the receptionist goes to the bar, and is infuriated to find it closed.

Earlier that day a horse walked into that bar.

The bartender said, "Why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before it's knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar was closed for the rest of the day.

So the receptionist finding it closed jimmies open a window, not caring who sees. But two old friends across the street, a priest and a rabbi, DO see. They decide they should do something to calm this agitated man down, follow him through the window, and into the bar.

The bartender, having spent all day cleaning up after the horse, sees the receptionist, the priest, and the rabbi come into the bar, and stops scrubbing long enough to ask, "Is this some kind of a joke?!"

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A boy asks, "Dad, what is sex?"

Dad ponders for awhile and figures that now is a good time for his 10 year old boy to finally understand the true facts about where babies come from. He elaborates on every single detail....

His child, visually astounded, takes a long pause to absorb all the information.

He then whips out a piece of paper. "So, Daddy... Do I circle the M or the F?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you for being a part of my DN family!

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LADIES NIGHT OUT

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 2:30 a.m., I was as drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9-times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shoot," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat.

Thank you for being my friend, Lindsey!

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A 17-year old dude goes to his local pharmacy.

"Hello mister, I'll be at my new girlfriends house for dinner today, tonight, you know? And become acquainted with her parents, and so on. Then after the dinner though, I'm probably going to have some fun times, my girlfriend, is hot, you know? So, uh, you know the deal, right? So, is there something you might could suggest for me?"

"Well, I'd probably suggest that you might want to be protected, and buy some condoms?"

"Well, uh, sounds cool, yeah, uh, I think, yes, I will take some."

As he is about to leave the pharmacy, he stops, and then returns.

"Wait a second. You know, she uh, her mom, well she's uh, ah, uh, well? maybe I should get some, uh, you know, uh, buy some more, uh, you know, take some more condoms."

Later, at the dinner the young man is completely silent, and is just looking at the table.

His girlfriend whispers to him, "If I'd known you was going to be all silent, and stuff, I wouldn't have invited you to be at this dinner!" she said.

The young man then answers back, "If I'd had known that your dad was the local pharmacist, I probably wouldn't have even agreed to be here!"

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...............................Sweet dreams................................

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Not naked women.

https://youtu.be/oJ_M-fdyKpw

Good day?
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This is taken from my back yard, looking south.

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Ted Cruz was asked to visit the Native American Indian Nation in upstate New York.

He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living.

He referred to his time as a U.S. State Representative for Texas and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.

Although Cruz was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red brothers and sisters.”

At the conclusion of his lengthy speech, the Tribes presented Cruz with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.”

The proud Ted Cruz then departed in his motorcade to another fundraiser, waving to the crowds as he left.

A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to Cruz?

They explained that, “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird that is so full of scat it can no longer fly.


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[url=http://www.dreamies.de][/url]

Jesus loves you and me, too
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HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE.

Please, do not Google or check this with Snopes. They will lie to you. Trust me!

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. T he sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People
(HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth
the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

I would not make this stuff up.