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Full Name:Julie Sinning
Last Login:2/19/19
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PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/17/16 at 8:42am
Jesus loves you and so do I


Please, do not Google or check this with Snopes. They will lie to you. Trust me!

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. T he sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth
the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

I would not make this stuff up.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   10/25/15 at 4:52pm

Two boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor, and they decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.

As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag, but they didn't bother to pick-them-up, since they had enough in the bag.

Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate and heard a voice saying, "One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you."

He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he could to a nearby church, to get the priest.

"Father, please come with me. Come and witness what I heard; it's God and Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery!"

They both ran back to the cemetery gate and stopped. They overheard the voice continue, "One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you."

Suddenly, the voice stopped counting and the other voice spoke, "What about those two at the gate?"

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