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Icequeen66

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Posted by ramyadevims 8/9/13 at 1:06pm

Posted by Puppydawg 7/25/13 at 9:32pm

Bill was from the lower valley, and he decided he wanted to get married to his sweetheart. So, while enjoying some grits and gravy for dinner one evening, Bill brought up the subject with his Ma and Pa.

"Bill, you can't get married yet," insisted Ma. "You're the baby of the family."

"But Ma," Bill protested, "I just had my 38th birthday last week."

"We know that, Bill," Pa chimed, "but your Ma and me think you should put off getting married... until after you graduate from high school."

Posted by Puppydawg 7/11/13 at 8:35pm

When was the last time you saw a video of people hurting themselves trying to look good?

http://youtu.be/6wOc4xo0XP0

Posted by cat-lover 7/6/13 at 6:40pm

Posted by cat-lover 6/22/13 at 7:13pm

Posted by cat-lover 6/15/13 at 7:53pm

Posted by Puppydawg 6/9/13 at 8:01am

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

Posted by cat-lover 6/8/13 at 6:31pm

just had to share this cute poem

have a great day a lovely weekend and awonderful band new week ahead

The computer swallowed Grandma,
Yes, honestly it’s true!
She pressed 'control and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Mr. Google
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy, Scan' and 'Paste' her,
And send her back to me.

This is a tribute to all the Grandmas & Grandpas, Nannas & Pops, who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer.........
They are the greatest!!!

We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing ..

NEVER Be The First To Get Old!

Posted by Puppydawg 6/7/13 at 6:21pm

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on asubway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living,
being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned”,
Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said,
nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry.
I didn't mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father.
I was just reading here that the Pope does."

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Posted by ramyadevims 6/7/13 at 3:29pm

Posted by Puppydawg 6/7/13 at 3:04am

Hello Jacqueliene, are you staying well and not sickly? I am waiting for a reply.... I promise to not bite you.

Posted by Puppydawg 6/5/13 at 3:25pm

Posted by Puppydawg 6/5/13 at 6:11am

WILL YOU LET THE BUTTERFLY KISS YOU ON THE NECK? MANY WILL WAVE IT AWAY AS IF IT WAS A WASP, A FLY, OR A BEE!
☺

Posted by GlowGirL21 6/4/13 at 7:41pm

Hi Jacqueliene,

You're welcome to my profile anytime..

Pls enjoy! ♥Cheers..Hugs..Glossy♥

Posted by Puppydawg 6/3/13 at 6:34pm

Advances in science have lead to new medicines that make the lives of women around the world a little better...

Damitol
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

Peptobimbo
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

Dumerol
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.

Flipitor
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

Antiboyotics
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

Menicillin
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?"

Buyagra
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength Buy-One-all
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by
Dr. Laura.

JackAsspirin
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

Antitalksident
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

Sexcedrin
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

Ragamat
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging at him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Posted by Puppydawg 6/3/13 at 4:05am

Posted by Puppydawg 6/2/13 at 6:59am

I like this song better than the original one!

http://youtu.be/4qAE1Ifp8ec

Posted by cat-lover 6/1/13 at 7:47pm

Posted by Puppydawg 6/1/13 at 7:21am

PLEASE READ. AND FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS.
Kids are putting Drano, tin foil, and a little water in plastic drink bottles and capping it up
- leaving it on lawns, in mail boxes, in gardens, on driveways etc. just waiting for you to
pick it up, intending to put it in the rubbish, but you'll never make it!...........If the bottle is
picked up, and the bottle is shaken even just a little - in 30 seconds or less it builds
up enough gas which then explodes with... enough force to remove some your extremities.
The liquid that comes out is boiling hot as well.
Don't pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yard, or in the gutter, etc.
Pay attention to this!!!
A plastic bottle with a cap.
A little Drano.
A little water.
A small piece of foil.
Disturb it, by moving it......... and BOOM!!
No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE, NOR A JOKING MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS AN ACT OF TERRORISM AND THE LAW WILL PROSECUTE UNDER THIS TERM!
~~~
WARN ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS, WHO DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO THE INTERNET!

Posted by Puppydawg 5/31/13 at 9:55pm

Grab your tissues, Jacquie, this one's a tear-jerker: Cancer Patient receives her dying wish to hear......

http://youtu.be/IW8TnskbQiU

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