ramyadevims 12 years ago

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Puppydawg 12 years ago

[B]Bill was from the lower valley, and he decided he wanted to get married to his sweetheart. So, while enjoying some grits and gravy for dinner one evening, Bill brought up the subject with his Ma and Pa.

"Bill, you can't get married yet," insisted Ma. "You're the baby of the family."

"But Ma," Bill protested, "I just had my 38th birthday last week."

"We know that, Bill," Pa chimed, "but your Ma and me think you should put off getting married... until after you graduate from high school."[/B]

Puppydawg 12 years ago

[B]When was the last time you saw a video of people hurting themselves trying to look good?

http://youtu.be/6wOc4xo0XP0[/B]

cat-lover 12 years ago

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cat-lover 12 years ago

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cat-lover 12 years ago

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Puppydawg 12 years ago

[B]Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
[/B]

cat-lover 12 years ago

[img]http://www.pictures88.com/p/how_are_you/how_are_you_007.gif[/img]

just had to share this cute poem :) have a great day a lovely weekend and awonderful band new week ahead :)

The computer swallowed Grandma,
Yes, honestly it’s true!
She pressed 'control and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Mr. Google
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy, Scan' and 'Paste' her,
And send her back to me.

This is a tribute to all the Grandmas & Grandpas, Nannas & Pops, who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer.........
They are the greatest!!!



We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing ..

NEVER Be The First To Get Old!

Puppydawg 12 years ago

[B]WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on asubway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living,
being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned”,
Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said,
nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry.
I didn't mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father.
I was just reading here that the Pope does."

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer. [/B]

ramyadevims 12 years ago

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