Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B][color=black]A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb, and one foot in the gutter.

A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk."

The wasted man asked, "Offisher, are you abwolutely shure I'm dwunk?"

"Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was cwippled."

"You think your walking's bad?" said the cop. "You should see how some people park, sober."[/color][/B]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/NcEIgf3.jpg[/img][B]

[color=red][I]Yes, I know it's Monday, Adelina39, but try to have [U]some kind of fun![/U][/I][/color][/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B][color=green][I]Wishing you a safe and happy week-end!
I'm longing for the colors of Spring!
Aren't you?[/I][/color][/B]

[img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/397621_284329008356160_189575517_n.jpg?oh=8e50869be65c7806a689dfd20873c036&oe=55770002&__gda__=1433510332_7e31af0532598f8c18738b07f93eef10[/img]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B][color=red]Believe it or not... Spring is just around the corner![/color][/B]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/7IIh5y2.jpg[/img]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[B][color=black][I]Is this what a "DERP" looks like?

[img]http://i.imgur.com/ldpdmzK.jpg[/img]

http://youtu.be/fdSVp9GFeS4

Be careful of your thoughts when you're alone, and
be more careful of your words when you're with
people!

Also, I'm a student of life and natural beauty... even though I'm deaf and almost blind.[/I][/color]
[/B]

castles 10 years ago

[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1927009/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1927009-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1927297/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1927297-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1927238/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1927238-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1927178/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1927178-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/227887/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/227887-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://nature.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1749325/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1749325-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://nature.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/902605/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/902605-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL][B][color=black][I]

None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You’re driving me mad Sam."

One day, Sam’s mother came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career.

The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Sydney, relocating to Newcastle.

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon could perform.

Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her.

She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something, but eventually died.

The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around and saw our friend Sam, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner![/I]

Oh, you didn't think Sam became a heart surgeon, did you?[/color][/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[url=http://www.scrapsyard.com/week/great-weekend/][img]http://www.scrapsyard.com/sy/01/9336/93361.jpg[/img][/url]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[img]http://i.imgur.com/NtRaswu.gif[/img]

[B][color=red][I]HAVE A HAPPY TUESDAY![/I][/color][/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[URL=http://people.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1383717/][IMG]http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1383717-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL][B][color=black]

At a hotel restaurant, a man sitting alone, sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm so sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and says, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."[/color]


[color=red][I]Have an adventurous week, Adelina![/I][/color][/B]

Puppydawg 10 years ago

[I]Have you heard this one?[/I]

[URL=http://www.imagehousing.com/image/1093316][IMG]http://img1.imagehousing.com/68/a095d3aa547e616a77479e6e68959626.gif[/IMG][/URL][B][color=black]

A woman alone walks into a party, looking for a date, and see's a man standing by himself, near the corner of the room. She wanders over to him, extends her hand...

"Hello," she coos. "I'm Carmen."

"That's a pretty name," he says. "Is it a family name?"

"Oh, no," she answers. "It's a name I gave to myself; you see, I like cars and men & I came up with 'Carmen.' What's your name?"

[I]"Uh... Beer'n'golf!"[/I]
[/color]
[/B]