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Full Name:	Jeff Hurckman

Last Login:	2/11/16
Join Date:	7/30/10
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Posted by Puppydawg 2/16/17 at 2:02am

Thank you, for being my friend!

Posted by Puppydawg 2/9/17 at 2:20am

Posted by Puppydawg 12/18/16 at 4:00am

Jesus is the reason of the season; go with God!

Posted by Puppydawg 5/16/16 at 8:35pm

Always live life to its fullest; no regrets; go with God...

Posted by Puppydawg 5/14/16 at 1:04am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Posted by Puppydawg 5/9/16 at 5:08am

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?"

Jeff admitted, "Well, yes, I did."

She said, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."

After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons, and since Jeff doesn't, that he should come to their house, around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had a romp for a few hours and then, Jeff left.

Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?"

Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."

Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?"

Sandy thought, 'Oh no, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came to the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me, and he said that he'd stop by our house, on his way home, and pay me back. You know? It's so good to have a friend, one you can trust and count on to be on-time."

Posted by Puppydawg 5/5/16 at 9:47pm

A priest, a minister, and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched toward Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best praying I ever did... was when I was hanging upside-down, from a telephone pole."

Posted by Puppydawg 4/28/16 at 1:12am

Posted by Puppydawg 4/27/16 at 12:29am

Everyone Thinks Senior Citizens are Senile.

An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was unlocked, so they went in, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved, 'I love you, Sally.'

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, "We must give it back." (But he didn't say, 'we have got to!')

Sally said, "Finders keepers," and she put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door.

"Pardon me," said the first officer. "Did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car, yesterday?"

Sally said, "No."

Jerry said, "She’s lying. She hid it, up in the attic!"

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he’s getting senile."

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said, "Tell us the story, from the beginning."

Jerry said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school, yesterday..."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "Were outta here!"

Posted by Puppydawg 4/25/16 at 10:10pm

60th High School Reunion

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.

This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.

They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.

Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes... yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower.

But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say “Yes”
or did she say “No?”

He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response.
With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.

As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say, 'Yes' or did you say 'No?' "

"Why you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes, I will.' And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"

Posted by Puppydawg 4/21/16 at 6:32am

Of Airplanes & Women

1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly and a woman takes her time.

2. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

3. Airplanes don’t get mad if you do a “touch and go.”

4. Airplanes don’t object to a pre-flight inspection.

5. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

6. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

7. Airplanes can be flown any time.

8. Airplanes don’t come with in-laws.

9. Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplanes you’ve flown before.

10. Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

11. Airplanes don’t mind if you look at other airplanes.

12. Airplanes don’t mind if you buy airplane magazines.

13. Airplanes don’t comment on your piloting skills.

14. Airplanes don’t whine unless something is really wrong.

15. Airplanes do expect to be tied down.

However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it’s usually not very good.

♥ Friendship is everything ♥

Posted by Puppydawg 4/19/16 at 2:13am

Hello Jeff!
As another day begins to darken and end, I come to your page, not to show bright or flashy colors, but to allow you to know that I can type many words and never say anything that you didn't already know. With this off of my chest (brain) I wish you a night full of happy dreams, many colors of paint or crayons, and pleasing thoughts of better times in your near future!

https://youtu.be/YaxGNQE5ZLA

Many warm wishes, a simple hug, or hand shake from one of your older (wiser?) friends and fan,
Roger

Posted by Puppydawg 4/17/16 at 10:26am

Posted by Puppydawg 4/10/16 at 9:05am

Jesus walks into a Hotel and places nails on the reception desk. The receptionist takes a moment to understand, not speaking Aramaic, but is able to explain in mime that nails are not legal tender.

After Jesus leaves, a duck that has been kind of harassing the receptionist for the last few days (by asking for grapes) waddles in. The duck asks if the receptionist has any nails, and the receptionist finally snaps. Deciding to walk out on the most ludicrous workday of his life, the receptionist goes to the bar, and is infuriated to find it closed.

Earlier that day a horse walked into that bar.

The bartender said, "Why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before it's knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar was closed for the rest of the day.

So the receptionist finding it closed jimmies open a window, not caring who sees. But two old friends across the street, a priest and a rabbi, DO see. They decide they should do something to calm this agitated man down, and follow him into the bar.

The bartender, having spent all day cleaning up after the horse, sees the receptionist, the priest, and the rabbi come into the bar, and stops scrubbing long enough to ask, "Is this some kind of a joke?!"

Posted by Puppydawg 4/8/16 at 11:39pm

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around a shopping mall when they collide.

The old guy says, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24-years old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big breasts, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a red halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter - let's go look for yours."

Posted by Puppydawg 4/8/16 at 7:02am

May peace and harmony fill your day with joy and laughter. Thinking of you, early this Friday morning...
Your friend,
Roger

Posted by Puppydawg 4/5/16 at 10:33am

Watch and know that these are car races without power steering, power brakes, no seatbelts, roll-cages, or any thoughts on being safe!

http://devour.com/video/vintage-race-car-crashes/

This took real men to be a driver of this era!

Posted by Puppydawg 3/25/16 at 1:37am

A woman calls the police, that her husband is missing...

They ask her for a description and she says, "He's six feet, three inches tall, well-built, with thick, curly hair."

Her friend says, "What are you talking about? Your husband is five-foot-four, bald and overweight."

Then the wife says, "Hush! Who wants that man back?"

Posted by Puppydawg 3/16/16 at 2:05am

A man and his wife are in a car accident...
They both end up dying and going up to Heaven. The husband looks around; he's astounded at how beautiful it is up there. The weather is perfect and he can see that all of his friends are about to go play golf, one of his favorite pastimes. It's everything he could ever imagine and more was there.

A man in a white robe approaches and the husband looks at him and asks, "Are you God?"

God responds, "That's me."

"Does this mean we're in Heaven?"

"Yes, indeed, you are!"

The old man then turns to his wife and slaps her hard across the face.

"What was that for?" screams the man's wife.

"Because if you wouldn't have forced me to stop smoking and drinking... I could've gotten up here a lot sooner!"

Posted by Puppydawg 3/15/16 at 6:42am

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats at a concert.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,

"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The old man didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient.

"Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.

Finally, they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"

"Fred," the old man moaned.

"Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.

With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied, "The balcony"...

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