| At age 4 I castrated a man because he looked at my tricycle wrong.
By age 7 I was a heavy drinker with little remorse about my past life as a pimp in Hong Kong.
At 9 I had already been on Hardcopy and had written a book on how to survive in the big house.
The next few years are a "blur" ...but I showed up back in the states around 1999 with some questionable women and 3 donkeys. (later the Amercian version of the "donkey show" was invented. It's the same as the Mexican version, I just charged more)
I have been credited with such fancy moves as the Dirty Sanchez and Upper Decker, as a choreographer I developed many new positions that have been hijacked by some former colleagues and I never persued Trade Mark rights.
I once befriended a monkey and later taught it to shoplift Doritos..heart those things.
I am witty and cunning.
I also heart CD's that skip during the best songs, T shirts with misspelled words, comics who lick microphones, and Spam, not the kind you eat...the ones you get in your inbox. If it weren't for those I wouldn't get any mail.
I now make a living selling popsicles to Eskimo's. It's a tough market but I'm sticking to my dreams. Not many people can say that.
I also spend some quality time on the internet to see if anything unusual is happening in cyber world, and as of late, everything seems to be normal.
Now I must crawl back into my box that I have leaning against a dumpster behind a K-mart that also houses a McDonalds, free leftovers daily, you know, Super Size Me !
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