Puppydawg 9 years ago

[URL=//people.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/2003383/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/2003/2003383-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=green][I]A blonde pushes her small car into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic, "It died..."
After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"[/I][/color]
[color=brown]
How many friends did I lose with this joke?[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[URL=//abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1136652/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/1136/1136652-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[color=black]A woman calls her blond neighbor and says, [I]"The next time you and your wife are making love, you should close your curtains. The whole neighborhood was watching both of you, yesterday, and laughing!"[/I]

The blond man replied, [I]"Well! The joke's on you, because I wasn't even at home, [U]yesterday!"[/U][/I]
[/color]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[img]https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13177587_1618306151826945_1571608421463330787_n.jpg?oh=1bd8e86ab61b2530b221727ac5773cec&oe=57A260C1[/img]

[B][color=black][I][U]TYPICAL CAR SALESMAN[/U]

An elderly couple return to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde.

"I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price," said the man. "Yet, I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000, to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model."

"Well, what can I tell you?" said the salesman. "She had the cash-in hand, and just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks, and handed them the keys.

"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, Grandpa."

Never mess with old folks![/I]
[/color][/B]
[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/happy-weekend-2/][img]http://www.commentsyard.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Happy-Weekend--505x540.jpg[/img][/url]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[URL=//abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/348241/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/348/348241-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black]A priest, a minister, and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched toward Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best praying I ever did... was when I was hanging upside-down, from a telephone pole."
[/color][/B]
[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/friday-graphic-time-to-relax/][img]http://www.commentsyard.com/graphics/friday/friday27.gif[/img][/url]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[URL=//people.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/2117610/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/2117/2117610-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL][B][color=red][I]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY![/I][/color][/B]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[URL=//sports.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1791122/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/1791/1791122-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black][I]Gary, I wish you to have a beautiful outlook, even if the weather gives you rain, because God provides for the plants to grow, the ponds to fill, and rivers to flow. One can't have life without each of the other 4 elements (earth, wind, sun, and water) in this place we call Heaven on earth.
Go & play with the angels and enjoy your day![/I]
[/color]
[/B]
[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/good-day-2/][img]http://www.commentsyard.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Good-Day.gif[/img][/url]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[B][color=black]Organic news that may pay-off. Please feel free to share...[/color][/B]

[img]https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13062395_1728077744113748_7261257562893618199_n.jpg?oh=e148ed2d3a54a54ad558ade41090158e&oe=57A91ABE[/img]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[img]https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/11891237_407730246102175_3640585542465265322_n.jpg?oh=989e6f7213cf7a4d9699cb9534b5ce68&oe=57A1630C[/img]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[URL=//cars.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1805319/][IMG]//dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/1805/1805319-bigthumbnail.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[B][color=black][U]Everyone Thinks Senior Citizens are Senile.[/U]

An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was unlocked, so they went in, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved, 'I love you, Sally.'

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, "We must give it back." (But he didn't say, 'we have got to!')

Sally said, "Finders keepers," and she put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door.

"Pardon me," said the first officer. "Did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car, yesterday?"

Sally said, "No."

Jerry said, "She’s lying. She hid it, up in the attic!"

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he’s getting senile."

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said, "Tell us the story, from the beginning."

Jerry said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school, yesterday..."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, [I]"Were outta here!"[/I]
[/color]
[/B]

Puppydawg 9 years ago

[img]https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/13076767_1612208545770039_3191123647094325210_n.jpg?oh=1399ee550b258f85273d712b601de9fa&oe=57BD81B9[/img]

[B][color=black][U]60th High School Reunion[/U]

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.

This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.

They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.

Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes... yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower.

But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say “Yes”
or did she say “No?”

He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response.
With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.

As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say, 'Yes' or did you say 'No?' "

"Why you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes, I will.' And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
[/color]
[/B]
[url=http://www.commentsyard.com/two-for-tuesday/][img]http://www.commentsyard.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Two-For-Tuesday-540x540.png[/img][/url]