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Journal for reddchris19 Journal for reddchris19
Oct
17
Sad
Someday you'll realize that what I did was for your own good. I know its painful - I'm feeling the same way too.

The truth is I really don't want to give up my love for you, but things are getting more complicated and I don't want to give you more problems.

I know what you've been through in life and I feel I'm not helping you. I decided to end this, not because I don't love you anymore but because I want you to be free. Free from all the pain, free from anything that would hurt you, free from ME.

You know how much I love you. You are my life. But I'm willing to give up my "life" if I feel that it is no longer happy with me.

You deserve someone better. Someone who would bring you real joy and happiness. Someone who would not make you cry. Someone who would not break your heart. I am not just that someone.

My dream for you is to be happy but I failed to give you one. I failed you. Im sorry. Its my fault. I know I made the wrong decision and I have to suffer its consequences. So let me suffer, let me feel the pain, let the anguish and misery consume me for all eternity. If this is what it takes to pay for all the bad things Ive caused you, then let it be. Let me die in pain and regret.

You will never be mine again - the truth that will be fastened to myself for the rest of my life.

Let me end this message by saying I love you. I know I don't have the right to say it but I would like to ask for one favor; allow me keep you in my heart forever.