♥♥Happy Monday & World Goth Day♥♥

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"Moonlight" A Vampires Dream Stevie Nicks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri-euoXzpIA

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"Frozen" Madonna
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDM0yAJjlBo

Have a Beautiful Week Everyone

Hugs♥
Melissa

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Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?"

Jeff admitted, "Well, yes, I did."

She said, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."

After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons, and since Jeff doesn't, that he should come to their house, around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had a romp for a few hours and then, Jeff left.

Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?"

Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."

Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?"

Sandy thought, 'Oh no, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came to the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me, and he said that he'd stop by our house, on his way home, and pay me back. You know? It's so good to have a friend, one you can trust and count on to pay on-time."

Did you know - organic news that may pay-off. Please, feel free to share...



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-weekend/][/url]

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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

60th High School Reunion

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.

This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.

They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.

Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes... yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower.

But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say “Yes”
or did she say “No?”

He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response.
With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening.

As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say, 'Yes' or did you say 'No?' "

"Why you silly man, I said 'Yes. Yes, I will.' And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"


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I walked into the bar and sat near an older woman. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a 'Sportsman's Double?'

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's a mother/daughter three-some," she said.

My mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered
what her daughter might look like?

I said, "No, I haven't."

We drank a few more, then she said with a wink,
"Tonight's your lucky night."

We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on
the hall light and shouted upstairs...

"Mom... are you still awake?"


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urself-2/][/url]

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My friend, Charlie, has only one arm, bless him. I saw him and shouted, "Where you off to, Charlie?"

He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb."

Well, I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said, "That's going to be a bit awkward isn't it?"

"Not really," he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive twerp!"

HAVE A FUN WEEK-END!

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Forget about clocks & watches, it's Friday!
Relax with friends & family and have a great time!

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...wishing you a romantic and beautiful day, Chris...

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A Hillbilly Family are visiting a shopping mall for their first time. The father and son are separated from the wife and two daughters. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two, shiny silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Pa?"

The father responded, "Son, I've never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an older lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous, young, red-haired woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go get your mother!"

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A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a
problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she thought that she should retain custody of them.

Her husband, also, wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied, "Your Honor, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?"

Don't laugh, because the Judge ruled that the husband should keep his own children!
This is a true story.

https://youtu.be/szuchBiLrEM

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rd.com/keep-calm-and-enjoy-weekend/][/url]

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LADIES NIGHT OUT

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 2:30 a.m., I was as drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9-times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shoot," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat.

Now, go and have a beautiful Thursday!

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Which of the following names are you familiar with?

1. Monica Lewinski

2. Bill Clinton

3. Hillary Clinton

4. Adolph Hitler

5. Jorge Bergoglio

6. Winnie Mandela

7. Vladimir Putin

8. Linda Lovelace

9. Saddam Hussein

10. Tiger Woods

Did you have trouble with #5?

You know all the criminals, murderers, thieves, liars, and cheaters, but you don't know the Pope??

Lovely, just lovely!

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friday/][/url]