| When he and I were just friends, he was just a kid...I actually could NOT conceive of us being "that way" with each other...
Now he*s all grown up, and not only that...he has gotten hotter than ever, hotter than anyone I*ve ever seen on Earth...and I look at guys with scrutiny!
I can*t go back to the days when I saw him as a kid...Sure, he WAS ALREADY handsome and sexy as a teenager, and girls were going wild for him...but I was like...feeling like a babysitter, his mother-figure or a way, way older sister-like someone in his life...
Today, I have to deal with forgetting a guy THAT HOT...(who at 21 looks like he*s 27 while children say I look 26...That was the reason I said we "jelled" - looked good together: but I did not mean that I was beautiful or anything like that...)...Anyway...I have to deal with the fact that he*s a best friend I COULD get drunk with someday and shag...but must not...
So it*s not easy, I tell you.
*Must not get within TEN FEET of him NOW that he*s looking so gorgeous and sexy, and he*s now a grown man (I keep on saying that) (that*s because..."I can*t believe my eyes!!"...as that Air Supply song says)...Anyway he*s always wanted to shag his best bud (me) so I*d better not cross his path NOW [note: In the past, I was simply more relaxed, as in anything goes like: Got a best friend that just sometimes sees you as a skirt?? No problem, just see him as a pair of pants!), well at least not be THAT near him (or maybe I can always be near him, just NOT ALONE with him...haha...this is going nowhere...)...I can ALWAYS wave at him from across the street (our fave thing about exes!)
Okay...I*m veering off-topic...
It*s hard to forget him because I have to strike a balance between being his friend (and never acknowledging his gender as it relates to mine) and being a girl who must always be on her guard and struggling to never,ever be seduced by what is truly my type: a tall, muscular guy with long hair, a husky voice [Update: He sometimes sounds like Ozzy Osbourne, BUT stay tuned...even his fans think he changes his voice all the time!), a prancing swagger and a big, I mean, big hands. They*re HUGE and sexy!
NO, this is NOT a secret code encouraging him to court me, unlike what some despicable people have insinuated. When you break up with someone, sometimes you*re still in love, YET YOU KNOW the relationship is doomed anyway.
Healing takes time, sometimes a long, long time, depending on what has transpired, right?
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