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9. MORE ON MY CRUSH and THE SEVEN LOCKS OF MY HEART:
My Crush knows how to carry himself when he relates to me. HIS KNOWLEDGE OF ME TOTALLY SURPRISED ME, AS A MATTER OF FACT!
It is amazing that very few men take the time to get to know me in advance of speaking to me, in order not to scare me or startle me...or make me run away for good. In the light of all this, again, my present crush knows all of the above about me (He is a WONDER!) and knows exactly what to do with me.
He gently encourages me to not be so uptight about men, because he knows that if a man so much as shows interest in me, I wield my sword or my spear (whichever is nearby haha) in defense! How? The usual "spending so much aimless time together to later get seduced into sex" does NOT work with me.
He ALSO knows that my heart has SEVEN LOCKS. The last lock, commitment, was something I have never quite opened in my life.
My Seven Locks a few years back: And so the world witnessed a very famous actor and me, as sweethearts (we did not have sex but I let him have all the sex he wanted with other women) resolve problems (like women claiming him as theirs, not mine..and all that hassle...) but despite my boyfriend buying so many beautiful houses for us to live in (and one mattress alone cost him $17,000.00 - because I liked sleeping!)...we never quite got to the wedding which was supposed to be AFTER he got released from a certain long-term movie contract. (My crush is also right in surmising that this ex-boyfriend is still a candidate in the contest of the men, to see who it is who can get me to the altar...because I really am scared. So this actor is still in the rosters? Well, I have not closed my doors on him, but I have given him my opinion that we might not be compatible after all. What that spells for the future, I do not know, because he still misses me after all that. No, I am not in love with my ex now.)
10. A CRUSH, to me, IS LOVE FROM A DISTANCE, from afar. I feel GREAT, INTENSE FEELINGS for one man when I am in Crush Mode, and to me, I can nurture a crush for 10 years without diminishing the fire of love at all! That is just how I am. That is the reason I feel fulfilled though people call me an Old Maid or whatever. This is just so funny to me! To me, LOVE IS ALWAYS IN THE AIR...yes, in the whisper of the trees and all that. But commitment?? Can we just maybe talk about the mechanics of elevators? Being trapped for life is scary...now what about being trapped with your crush/love??? Settling down with a crush/love? My answer to that is that my crush/love MIGHT turn out to be not be what I thought he was, and so I would truly be trapped! 
Right now, the colours are brighter, music stirs my passions...because I think I am in love...I have a manly, sexy crush right now! He knows I am a scaredy-cat...Either he is taking it real slow (I am not scared...so far, so good) or maybe he just wants to be, without any relationship nor commitment, my charming Knight in Shining Armour on DN, the unbeatable romantic figure for me here...and that is it, most probably.
No matter how deeply in crush nor in love I fall for My Crush, this is probably the extent of it. It may not go any further than this...but that is how I get fulfillment! Life just gets very, very exciting with a man to admire! A crush! The other course in life...commitment to another...even my crush says it is a whole new world!! To him it is worth investigating, so he gently encourages me to try new things.
Right now I have everything...THE EXCITEMENT!!! AND THE SECURITY that is a cause for celebration: I AM STILL FREE AND NOT CAGED!!! And my crush is there to smile at me a lot, he lets me be myself...what more could I want? 
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