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Journal for LokiJournal for Loki

And a man sat alone. Drenched deep in sadness. And all the animals drew near to him and said:
" We do not like to see you so sad . . . . " Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it."

The man said: " I want to have good eye sight." The eagle replied: "You shall have mine."
The man said: " I want to be strong." The jaguar said: " You shall be strong liike me."
Then the man said: " I long to know the secrets of the earth." And the serpent replied: " I will show them to you."
And so it went with all the animals. And when the man had all the gifts that they could give . . . . he left.

Then the owl said to the other animals: " Now the man knows much and can do many things . . . . " Suddenly I am afraid."
The deer said: " The man has all that he needs. Now his sadness will stop."
But the owl replied: " No . . . . I saw a hole in the man . . . . Deep like a hunger he will never fill."
" It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. He will go on taking and taking . . . .
Until one day the World will say . . . ."

" I am no more and have nothing left to give."

Just a bit of food for thought.

I was just recently asked why I chose Loki as my avatar name. And was asked the same not too long ago. So for the curious - I make this journal entry . . . .

This is the story of Loki.

I was sitting at the bar in one of our local pubs when I suddenly I felt pressure on my thigh. I looked over and there was this wolf in my face. Well I don't need to tell you that I just about . . . . Anyway - Once over the initial shock, I realized that he was just being friendly. I reached out my hand to pet him and he was OK with it. After only a minute or two he laid down on the floor at my feet and made himself comfortable . Those who were in the bar with me were as amazed by this as I was. People that were about to jump over the bar only a minute ago now stood dumbfounded..
It turns out that he had tags, so he was someones dog. Sure didn't see him that way at first. And I don't think everyone was convinced that he was friendly. There were no attempts by anyone else to pet him and no one dared try to 86 him from the bar. Sooo, there he laid, this beautiful, amazing creature. He laid there untill I got up to leave. As soon as I stood up, he came up off the floor like he had been shot in the ass by a bolt of lighting. When I headed for the door the dog lead the way. As a matter of fact, he lead the way my entire walk home. He stayed about a half a block ahead of me, ocassionally looking back as if he were checking to see if I was still there. If I crossed the street - he crossed the street. It was like I was behind a sled and he was my lead dog.
Got home and the dog was right there. Went inside with the dog making a point of being in the lead once in, he laid down by my chair and just made himself at home. I called the Vet and gave him the tag number and he gave me a phone number in return. I called and spoke to a woman who lived over thirty miles out of town. She informed me that he was constantly running off and that she was through. If I wanted to keep him I was welcome to him. His name was Loki. We soon became almost inseperable. Where I went - he went. I used to spend a lot of time out roaming around in the wild. And Loki loved it just as much as I did.
There are far to many stories to tell them all here. Loki and I had some pretty wild adventures. He was a compainon - a protecter - and more times then not . . . .a pain in my ass. You didn't make Loki do what Loki didn't want to do. And Loki did exactly what he wanted to. I relate to that. And just for the record . . . . I never kept Loki - he chose to stay. Go figure!
There came a point when circumstances didn't allow me to spend the time with him that he needed. No time for those two to three mile runs - no time for an afternoon at the lake - no time for much of anything. This was wrong. Something had to change. A friend of mine always told me that if I were ever willing to give him up that she wanted him. She told me that alot. She had a five year old son and they were both crazy about this animal. Couldn't have been a better fit. A dog and a boy growing up together and a family of love. So in one of my most heartbreaking moments, I made the decision to give him up. They were estatic - I was devastated. This is where he and I were meant to go in different directions. We journeyed together for a couple of years and for that I will always be grateful. I miss my friend.
So now you know the story behind the name and the avatar. It is a constant reminder to me of a very special gift. Somewhere - somehow -someone or something brought the two of us together. And it was that same force or forces that split our paths. Why he chose me out of a bar full of people - why we were like one in the same - why we were dealt the card of seperation - why he was so protective of me from day one - why indeed? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I only know that it was my privlage.

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