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A man left for work on Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys, and spending all his wages by playing cards.
When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife.
After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

He replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her walk into his hospital room, from the corner of his left eye...


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Enjoy this day, for tomorrow is promised not.

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][/URL]

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A man owned a small ranch near Great Falls, Montana. The Montana Labor Department got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an investigator out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the investigator.

"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand, Joe, who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1200 a week, plus free room and board. And then there's the cook, Mary, she has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $1000 per week, plus free room and board.... Then there's the half-wit, Albert. He works about 18 hours every day, with no-days-off, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, and pays his own room and board. But, I buy him a bottle of bourbon, every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife, occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to, Albert, the half-wit!" says the investigator.

"You're talking to him," replied the rancher.

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Never let it be said that to dream is a waste of one's time. For dreams are our realities in waiting; in dreams, we plant the seeds of our future.

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https://youtu.be/UxxajLWwzqY

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It's coming... Are you ready?

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It's coming... I'm talking about H-a-l-l-o-w-e-e-n.

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Because I’m a guy and this is the year 2015, I will share equally in the housework.
You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes, and I’ll do the rest.

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iday/][/url]

Sorry it took me so long to get here!

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At the cemetery, near the grave stood an old man, head bowed. The Preacher had said the last prayer over the old man's wife who's casket was being lowered into the ground. Most of the crowd started heading for their vehicles as dark clouds began to close-out the sun. Lightning flashed across the horizon, a clap of thunder rolled out across the valley floor as it echoed from one hill to another near this place. Another flash of lightning struck a tree nearby, and the Preacher flinched.

"Yep!" says the old man looking skyward. "She wasted no time and announced that she's made it, there!"


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............................TODAY IS A GOOD DAY........................

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Jack and Bob talked it over for a week to go skiing. They loaded up in Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught-up in a terrible blizzard.

They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from....." "Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I got this letter from her lawyer, and it says she just died, and left me everything."

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https://youtu.be/2qSLvkskXFA

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FRIENDSHIP

A loveless life is like a fruitless tree, but a friendless life is like a rootless Tree.
The Tree can live without fruit, but not without roots!

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