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Last Login:12/23/14
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shenosto6Posted by shenosto6   1 Hour Ago

SherryAnn1971Posted by SherryAnn1971   Yesterday at 10:46am
Hi my sweet friend......... i am finally able to sneak back in for a few minutes...it has been so crazy busy at work i have not had a chance to come to DN...and so many things have been going on at home.....my mom moved in with us...my husband got sick and has been to the hospital many times...he almost died one time he is doing better now. We all 3 have gone through the flu I am back to work now but things are hectic. I have been thinking of you and hoping you and others have been doing ok here on DN. Thank you for keeping in touch..i will try as often as I can to be here. You are a blessing to me my friend.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/25/15 at 12:19am

A woman alone walks into a party, looking for a date. She see's a man standing by himself, near the corner of the room. She wanders over to him, extends her hand...

"Hello," she coos. "I'm Carmen."

"That's a pretty name," he says. "Is it a family name?"

"Oh, no," she answers. "It's a name I gave to myself; you see, I like cars and men & I came up with 'Carmen.' What's your name?"

"Uh... Beer'n'golf."

GREENFROGGY1Posted by GREENFROGGY1   1/15/15 at 8:43pm

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/8/15 at 10:54pm
Look at this picture of Elvis.
Today is his Birthday and if he was alive, he'd be 80-years old.

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/8/15 at 3:32pm

A man wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: 'Darling, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.' So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "John, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a big black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, he asks, "So, why is everything in order, and so neat and clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you into the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said,

'Lady, leave me alone. I'm happily married!' "

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/5/15 at 11:03pm

"I'm not going to school today," Fred said to his mother. "The boys tease and bully me, and the girls in my class scare me!"

"You're going. And that's final, young man! I'll give you two good reasons why:

First, you're 35 years old.

And second, you're their teacher!"

dream.coryPosted by dream.cory   1/5/15 at 8:00am
Hi dear friends, Sorry for my absence, I missed you. I hope your holidays were wonderful.
I hope this year 2015 will be full of joy.
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/4/15 at 8:31pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/3/15 at 11:44pm

A couple was riding up the ski lift at one of the popular Colorado resorts. Suddenly the woman complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a restroom. He told her not to fear - that he was sure some kind of powder room was at the top. He was wrong, and the pain did not go away.
If you have ever had Nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters.
With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the problem, suggested that since she was wearing an all white ski outfit that would camouflage her, she could go off into the woods. She headed for the tree line and began disrobing.
If you've ever parked on a slope, then you know there is a right way, and a wrong way to "set" your skis, so you don't move. Yup, you guessed it. In her hurry, she had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself sliding backwards, picking up speed, out of control, racing through the trees, back down the slope. Her derriere was still bare, her pants down below her knees, creating an unusual vista for other skiers.
The woman skied, if you define the word loosely, back under the lift and finally collided violently with one of the support pylons. The bad news was that she broke her arm, and was unable to pull up her ski pants.
At long last her husband arrived, put an end to the nude show, then went to the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her to the hospital.
In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers.

"So how did you break your leg?" she asked the man, making small talk.

"It was the damnedest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up the ski lift and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy woman skiing backward out of control down the mountain with her bare bottom hanging out of her clothes and her pants down around her knees. I leaned over to get a better look... and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. And I fell out of the lift.
So, how did you break your arm?"

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/3/15 at 4:05pm

A friend of mine was asking how I managed to get a black eye? And I was trying to explain about seeing these two large women in the bar, last night...

They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey are you two ladies from Australia?"

One of them screamed back at me, "It's Wales you stupid IDIOT!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Australia?"

GREENFROGGY1Posted by GREENFROGGY1   1/2/15 at 4:39am

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   1/1/15 at 3:07am

I have always questioned if Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton were really preachers since they have no church.

When I heard Al Sharpton was guest preacher at a black Las Vegas Church , I decided to check him out in person and see what it was all about.

I sat down and Sharpton came up to me - I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the Church.

He laid his hands on my hand and said: "By the will of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today."

I told him I was not paralyzed. He came back and laid his hands on me again, and repeated the same thing.

Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.

After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold... my car had been stolen!

CiTiBoYPosted by CiTiBoY   12/31/14 at 1:57pm
Alexandra66Posted by Alexandra66   12/31/14 at 1:45pm

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   12/29/14 at 8:55pm

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Your computer's really messed-up now, Fred."

babyerikaPosted by babyerika   12/29/14 at 2:23pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   12/29/14 at 6:02am

***Biscuits & Gravy Casserole***

This makes for an awesome easy breakfast for any gang. Wrap what's left (or freeze it)
for later!


1 pound sausage
1 1/2 ounces pork gravy mix (1 - package of Pioneer Brand Peppered Sausage Gravy Mix)
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded
6 eggs
1/2 cup milk
to taste salt
to taste black pepper
1 Can (8 oz) biscuits (1 - can Pillsbury Grands Biscuits)


Preheat oven to 350 degree's. Take a 9x13 pan and spray it with Pam or whatever you like to use. Then take the Biscuits and cut them into 1" pieces and line bottom of pan. Brown Sausage and scatter over biscuits. Sprinkle with Cheddar Cheese. Whisk eggs and milk with a pinch of salt and pepper and pour it over the pan. Make Gravy mix per package directions and pour over. Bake in the oven for about 30-45 minutes. Yummy!

Also, this won't make you fat, unless you eat your friend's portion, too...

PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   12/27/14 at 7:34pm
PuppydawgPosted by Puppydawg   12/26/14 at 11:26pm

Our neighborhood has a new neighbor....
She's single... she lives right across the road. I can see her place from my front porch. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway and knocked on my door.

I rushed to open it, she looks at me and says, "I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?"

I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm Free, and I have no plans at all!"

She said, "Great! Could you watch my dog?"

I hate looking like an old geezer, on a Friday night!

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